The Sacred Art of Food Fighting
NEOSCHOOL CAFETERIA - It’s a game you can’t play in gym class. Nor is there any
leagues what so ever. No, you can not start a pick-up game in the park ether.
In fact, this game is so special that there is only one place where you can play
it. In your Neoschool cafeteria! I am of course, talking about the sacred art
of FOOD FIGHTING!
This is nothing more fun then starting a food fight right in the middle of
lunch, especially on chilli day. BUT, do you know how to create a perfect food
It’s good to have a team of people who are going to start the food fight. You
are of course one of them. Now you should pick at least three friends to help
you. But, DO NOT pick any of these pets below to help;
1. Fashion obsessed pets who care more about their clothes then grades, fun,
other people, etc. They are a big no-no!
2. Hannah: See number one on this list.
3. Jeran: He’ll think it’s a war and will probably cause serious injuries that
will send people the hospital.
4. King Hagan: Food fights are one hundred percent non-educational! Education
is the most important thing in Brightvale.
5. Sloth: WELL, DUH!
6. King Skarl: He will eat all your ammo!
7. If your fight involves asparagus, Adam.
Good, now that you have your team, you need to find the best ammo.
Find anything gooey, slimy, sticky, wet, etc. The most time spent during your
fight will be flinging gooey, slimy, sticky, wet, etc. food at others. Here’s
a list of some items that are A MUST for your fight;
GOOEY, SLIMY, STICKY, WET FOODS
1. Mashed potatoes: This work great for flinging! A mashed potato in your hair
2. Pudding: Preferably chocolate. This is a great fight starter.
3. Salsa: Nothing stains clothes better then salsa!
4. Chilli: It’s gooey; it stains, and can be mixed with other foods to make
them look gross. What more could you want?
5. Nacho cheese: See number three on this list.
6. Rice: Drives everyone with long hair nuts!
7. Stew: Gross people out when they get hit with it! Nobody ever knows what’s
in the cafeteria version of this.
8. Ice cream: Get hit with it, and it will give you a real brain freeze!
9. Melted butter: Can be flung alone, or with mashed potatoes or vegetables!
10. Soy sauce: Dyes everything you hit with it brown! Ketchup and mustard are
You don’t need to fling these, you just throw them!
1. Apples: Ow!
2. Peeled oranges: It burns your eyes! Not to mention every other cut that
3. Pies: Cherry stains the most. THESE ARE A MUST HAVE!
4. Chicken nuggets: The ones at my school bounce. These are fun the throw,
even if the effects aren’t that great.
5. Any other hard fruits.
8. See numbers six and seven.
And remember, these are just suggestions. It is always fun to try new things
and mix different stuff! Also, make sure your lunch isn’t suspicious! Only take
a maximum of five items, at least two of those should be gooey.
Every army needs a fort, right? Or in this case a table. Find a spot where
you have a good view of everyone. DO NOT let yourself be blind sighted to any
corner! Being blind sighted could cost you!
Now that you have everything you need, sit down at your table and take out
ether a spork or spoon, whatever your Neopian cafeteria has. From now on your
spork/spoon will be called The Flinging Device of Doom. Ready one of your gooey,
slimy, sticky, wet, etc. foods onto your Flinging Device of Doom.
Now pick out a target. You do not want to fling anything at the extremely huge,
muscular, football playing Grarrl table! That would be stupid, considering those
guys’s fist size. Don’t fling anything at the very vain, prissy, Miss Neopia
Uni table ether. More then likely, they won’t return fire, and you will not
create a food fight. They will run, scream, “OMG! I LIK GOT, LIK FOOD STUFFS,
LIK IN MY HAIR!!!1111ONEONE
HEEEEEELP MEEEEE!”, hit things, and will probably cause some serious damage
to both students and school property. Pick out an average normal Neopet who
is surrounded by a few friends, but not a giant crowd.
Scoop up a spoonful of food. Hold the handle with your left hand/paw/flipper/talon
and pull back on the tip of the Flinging Device of Doom. Take aim on your target.
Aim for the head or face, the target will notice it faster. Release and SPLAT!
It hits, or if it doesn’t, the pet will at least have noticed a giant gob of
mashed potatoes or whatever fly past him. Reload your Flinging Device of Doom,
but don’t fire. Keep it in the view of the pet you just hit. He will look around
for the attacker. He will see you and retaliate. Duck whatever he throws at
you and scream, “FOOD FIGHT!”
The rest of the cafeteria will fling into action, firing processed food stuffs
at everybody. You may get lucky and somebody’s stray glob of pudding will hit
that annoying cafeteria monitor who gave you detention for stabbing your tray
with a spork countless times. And if somebody in the room happens to have asparagus,
we just may see Adam barge through the door and charge towards it. Or, if somebody
has cheese, I may just charge through that door as well, with a bunch of Meepits
AVOIDING THE DETENTION/SUSPENSION/EXPULSION THAT YOU MAY RECEIVE FOR STARTING
A FOOD FIGHT
9. Blame it on your friend! (Shame on you!)
8. Blame it on Adam.
7. Or another Neopets staff member. (They can’t yell at the people who created
6. Throw cheese at them. Everybody likes cheese!
5. Blame it on the Weewoos!
4. What’s a food fight?
3. What’s food?
2. BLAME IT ON THE MEEPITS!
1. I should have put this at the beginning of this article. Oh well…
Well, that’s how you create the perfect food fight! *Dodges potatoes* Good