100 Excuses Not To Clean Your Room
Hi! My name's pheobehalliwell4155 (call me Pheobe), I'm PetFriendAmy's blue Kacheek.
I was adopted, and my owner can't help but wonder who it was that abandoned me
(you know who you are. I know you're out there, somewhere!). I also have three
sisters, Aqua, Sonya and Soya. They are the best ever! ^_^
But anyways, to the point: PFA is always complaining about how messy my room
is and how I should go and clean it... blah blah blah... -_- but anyway, I have
to think of a decent excuse not to every time... I'm sure you've had this problem,
before? I mean, come on. Hasn't everyone? Well, maybe not if you're a clean-freak,
or if you don't have stuff in your room... Well, anyways, now I'd like to share
my best 100 excuses with you, for when YOUR owners yell about your messy rooms...
100: Pretend to have the Neoflu.
99: *point to something* Look! Isn't that the Giant Omelette? *run off*
98: Stare blankly.
97: Excuse me... I don't think I heard you properly... Say again?
95: Who am I? Where am I?
94: Yeeeessss, maaasteeer...
93: *look at watch* Whoa, look at the time. Gotta go! *run off*
92: Hahahahaha! No... you're SERIOUS?!
91: Scream and start throwing stuff randomly at 'em.
90: What? You mean my room is messy?
89: But I have to study!
88: *moan* Do I HAVE to?... -_-
87: Note to self - WAKE UP, NOW!! *Pinch self*
86: But there are Spyders under all this junk!
85: Why? Are we moving?
84: lol mi room iz mesyer then urs. I pwn u.
83: Why don't you hire a maid and then we won't have to clean? :-D
82: When you look at it from this angle... Doesn't it kinda look like a mountain
81: Just be glad I don't hoard dung.
80: You see, there was this HUGE junk monster, and...
79: This is my way of showing my appreciation of the great and wonderful Dr.
78: Start humming an annoying tune.
77: *look out window* Wow, the sky's a beautiful shade of azure today...
76: Error. Error. That does not compute.
75: *Kachoo!* *sniff* Sorry, I'm allergic to cleaning.
74: But it's an organized mess!
73: But I've been too busy with the Haunted Woods Plot!
72: Junk? I thought it was flowers!
71: So you want me to clean my room... And?
70: Fall over backwards and pretend to be dead.
69: I am not Pheobe. I am evil killing robot made by Dr. Sloth designed to
68: Don't you have to go buy food or something?
67: But I'll get my fur ALL DIRTY! :-(
66: Why are you so concerned with cleanliness?
65: I know where you live.
64: What's the difference between 'junk' and 'stuff'?
63: What? You don't want me to raise a Snorkle?
62: Start telling a story that doesn't go anywhere.
61: But the junk is the only thing that's holding my walls up!
60: Pheobe? Who's Pheobe?
59: No, you don't understand! Hannah and Armin got turned into huge piles of
junk, and I have to keep them here until they can be brought back to normal!
58: You mean there are people who actually HATE junk?? o_O
57: Okay... fine. *grab a paper and pretend it's too heavy*
56: But if I clean it would make my junk unhappy! D-:
55: It's a reflection of my inner self! There's a lot of toil and destruction,
54: HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?! *Pat junk* Don't listen to her, Junky! I won't clean
53: Do you know HOW many times you've said that?
52: But this junk was passed down through many generations, facing many hardships
and much turmoil...
51: But today is randomly dedicated to: JUNK!
50: But I'm trying to get the 'Pack Rat' avatar!
49: But my junk is protecting my floor from dust!
48: You know... 'Junk' actually is a combination of two words: 'jazz' and 'funk'.
47: But I'm having a junk party!
46: But I DID clean my room! But then Sloth fired his mind-control ray, and...
45: It's my new gallery! I'm calling it the 'Junk-O-Rama'!
44: THERE IS A JELLY WORLD!!! *Look at watch* 'Kay, TNT will be here in about
3... 2... 1...
43: But other pets have paid me to put their junk in my room!
42: Clean?! Junk?! AAUUGGHH!!! *Run in circles and go crazy*
41: It's a weird new option for your Neohome: you can have 'junk' as your carpet!
40: You know... cleaning attracts monsters.
39: *bat eyelashes* With a face like this? O:-)
38: Umm... Want some junk?
37: You mean it's NOT against Neopian Rules to clean your room?
36: But there's a contest - 'Don't clean your room for a week and get 100,000
NP and a shiny new TROPHY!'
35: Think about the poor, starving Neopians who don't even HAVE rooms to put
34: Cleaning too much gives you wrinkles. ;-)
33: Pfft, if you think this is a mess, check out your room.
32: *stare blankly, then snap into reality* Sorry, I was in a distant land,
mentally. Did you say something?
31: But I took a vow that I'll protect all this junk from evil!
30: But if I do that, Neopia will tilt off its axis and crash into Kreludor!!
29: You know, an odd thing about that... Every time you walk into my room,
junk magically appears!
28: Wouldn't that jeopardize the balance of nature or something?
27: Apparently, the Pant Devil thinks my room is his Safety Deposit Box...
26: But my friend's owner's boyfriend's cousin came and told me to get the
orange Aisha plushie to my teacher's husband's brother's daughter, and...!
25: I remember it like it happened yesterday... 'Something Has Happened! Your
room suddenly fills with junk!!'
24: Not unless you let me have a cookie.
23: WHOA! Where did all this JUNK come from??
22: Sure, I need to clean... and you need to go spend NP.
21: Why don't you clean YOURS first?
20: But Jhudora said she'd put a curse on me if I do!
19: What part of 'no' don't you understand?
18: Didn't you check the weather reports? They said a tornado would strike
the room of pheobehalliwell4155.
17: *sniff* You don't want me to have a messy room... :-(
16: But this is my favorite junk!
15: Under all this junk hides ASPARAGUS!! *Bum bum bum*
14: But it's a new kind of art! It's called 'junkart'!
13: But this won't all fit in my closet!
12: Clean my room? But I can't find my room! It's buried in junk, somewhere...
11: But I can't think of a decent excuse not to!
10: Nooo... Dr. Sloth will kill me!
9: But this junk being here is what's keeping The Darkest Faerie from escaping!
8: I caaaan't... muuust... obeeey... Meeeepiiiits... @_@
7: But my room IS clean! ...It's just buried in junk, so you can't tell!
6: *sob* It took me FOREVER to get this room messy!!
5: It's MY room and I'LL clean it when I feel like it!!
4: Hehehe... That's a job for SANE PEOPLE! HEHEHE! *Go crazy*
3: I'm too busy reading this article.
2: I don't believe in cleaning.
And finally, last but definitely not least...
1: What's 'cleaning'?
There you have it! 100 excuses not to clean your room. (Hah, that was fun!
Maybe I'll see if I can think of more, sometime...) Keep this list handy, 'cause
sooner than you think your owner will be...
*Knock knock* "Pheobe? What are you doing in there? Are you done cleaning
Um... What's 'cleaning'?
*sigh* "Just forget it..."
...and there you go. That's the last of it, and now I'll be headin' on my
way to think of more excuses to use for later. So bye now, everyone! Drop PFA
a Neomail sometime, and maybe I'll write some more articles for you, sometime!
Oh, and before I forget... TNT insists that I say 'There is no Jelly World.
It is a myth. It doesn't matter if 60,000 people say it exists, it doesn't.'