There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 90,555,321 Issue: 168 | 2nd day of Celebrating, Y6
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The Snood Squad

by cheopspyramid


Ah, Neopia; with its fabulous waters and many worlds upon which one can visit with a few simple clicks! But what's this? I see we have a few shoppers down in Neopia Central today! They look as if they are thoroughly enjoying themselves. You know, this reminds me of the time that a few shoppers such as them had a not-so-glamorous day. I believe the town called them the 'Snood Squad'? Ha… yes, that was it. Now where should we begin?

      Paula the picky Pteri and Nara the nosey Nimmo (try saying that five times fast) were a pair of trouble! They enjoyed shopping around the small stands and also some of the larger establishments. But another thing they did was snoop. Both were very, very snotty and, quite frankly, they were brats. Always poking in others' business and constantly trying to find something wrong with anything that someone was doing. This got them into deep trouble that day. Never should they have messed with Byron the bossy Blumaroo.

      Byron owned a shop in the middle of Terror Mountain. It was a small and neglected shop that barely had any visitors. Yet if it did have any, they would be amazed by the amount of items it had in stock. Nara and Paula ventured into this shop one afternoon to be shocked by the shelves.

      "Oi! Nara!" Paula shouted rapidly. "They have Posey Pteri Perfume!"

      "No!" Nara replied. "Really? You've been looking for that type for ages! You finally found it in this bad of a shop?"

      At this point, Byron was annoyed with the shouting that had aroused in the nearby aisle. He was also offended that someone would call his shop 'bad'. In his view, the shop was very nice and tidy and offered many lovely items that the absent customers would enjoy! How dare that pet say something so terrible! Byron started the stare at the yelling couple.

      "Ugh, can you believe this guy Paula?" Nara said with disgust. "I think he's eavesdropping! How rude!"

      Byron became so angry that he shouted at the duo to leave immediately. Both Nara and Paula refused to exit the store which resulted in problems.

      "Leave now or I will be forced to call reinforcements," Byron threatened.

      Stubbornly, the pair stayed. This did not go very well with Byron so he did indeed call the authorities. Nara and Paula were forced out of the shop and left in the cold snow to walk home.

      While leaving the area, Byron heard one of them mutter, "I'll get that little man. Even if it's the last thing I do."

     Three months later, Byron woke up in the morning to open the store. Yet when he got there he found that the sugary sweets that normally decorated his shop's outer layer ripped off the walls. Angered, Byron followed the trail of footprints leading away from his door. The trail lead deep into the inner nooks of the Ice Caves. At the end of the trail, he found a pair of snickering sneaks known as Paula and Nara.

      "You!" Byron yelled with a pointing finger. "You destroyed my shop!"

      "So what if we did?" Paula replied rudely. "You can't do much about this little problem. Especially since you won't be around to tell your side of the story."

      Shocked by this remark, Byron started the storm out of the cave. And when he almost reached the exit he felt something tug at his shirt tail and the world around him went black.

      Now you may be wondering, what did Paula and Nara do?! Harming such an innocent man was quite a crime to commit! But just stay still while I finish. No more interrupting.

      When Byron arose from his unconsciousness he found that he was in an icy chamber with stalactites and stalagmites blocking him from escaping. A voice suddenly cracked and startled him.

      "Told you we'd get you back."

      "Who's there?" Byron shouted. "I'm warning you! People are probably looking for me right now! Show yourself and save some time!"

      Stepping out of the darkness, Nara and Paula appeared. Both had an expression of anger on their faces, but looked content with what they had done. They walked towards him and smirked.

      "Trapped like a rat," Nara said.

      What can I do? Byron thought. They have me in this jail cell and there's nothing I can really do...

      Suddenly, Byron remembered that he had a Zeenana peel in his pocket from breakfast. Everyone knows that Zeenana peels are the slipperiest items in all of Neopia. Surely one of them would slip and fall!

      Byron slowly withdrew the peel from his pocket, and while the two were laughing he threw the peel towards Paula's feet. Instantly Paula slipped and knocked over Nara and they both fell into the icy stalactites and stalagmites. Byron closed his eyes as the chamber around him shattered.

      While he had the chance, Byron ran for it. He ran as fast as he could, out of the caves and back to his shop where he would later tell the police what had happened. But little did he know that Paula and Nara were both still conscious and pleased as can be. They now had some dirt on Byron that he would later pay for.

      Paula had pictures of Byron screaming out of the cave which made him look like a crying toddler. Byron's image was thought of as a kind but strong Blumaroo; not a baby. And this picture would soon find its way all over every shop in Neopia. This would definitely embarrass Byron for sure! Poor little creature.

      A few days after all of this drama occurred, Byron came across one of the photos. It was plastered all over the light pole in the Haunted Woods. The photo showed Byron running, screaming, and crying out of the icy cavern that he had previously visited. Underneath the photo there was a caption that read:

      Byron: Buff or a Baby?

      This angered Byron beyond all reasoning! How in Neopia could he get back at Nara and Paula? He had absolutely nothing against them except for the fact that one of them wore Posey Pteri Perfume. Wait! That's just it! Posey Pteri Perfume was known as the foulest smelling perfume that ever landed on the shelves. Of course the factory shut down a few years ago because the stench was wafting into nearby homes. If Paula was putrid enough to wear such a fragrance, surely she would be laughed upon. But what about Nara? Byron racked his brain to try and find something against Nara. He had nothing except the fact that she was known as a nosey Nimmo. Surely he could fit that in somewhere. He had to get started. Now.

      Byron worked and worked in the secrecy of his own home. He couldn't show his face in public just yet because everyone was still laughing at him and telling him to go back home and play with his dolls. He chose to ignore most of these remarks.

      Finally after days of working he came up with a small booklet that had a horrid picture of Paula and Nara posted on the front. The inside told stories of what they had done in the past to other people. Byron had researched this and asked the other Neopians if they wanted to share their accounts on what the pair had done to them. In the very back of the booklet, in bold print, it stated:

      Paula the SMELLY Pteri!

      Following the headline it told all about what Paula wore on her feathers. And even to embarrass her more he put a scratch-and-sniff tablet on the other page. This way all of the readers could smell Paula's evilness. And to humiliate Nara, Byron posted another headline that said:

      Nara Noses In

      It was perfect! He made copies of the booklet and passed it out all over Neopia in several shops. Each shop was happy to sponsor the tabloid and apologized to Byron for poking fun at him. Everything was set. Soon enough, Nara and Paula would be the core of everyone's jokes for a while.

      Months and months after the tabloid hit the shelves, Nara and Paula came knocking upon Byron's door. Both had a new scent on their necks that wasn't as nasty smelling. Both of them were also very red-faced.

      "Byron," Paula said quietly. "We're really sorry about what had happened. We never meant for you to be embarrassed that much. Will you forgive us?"

      Byron thought for a little while as he stared that at the pair of girls. The apology did seem sincere and both looked as if they had their share of their own medicine.

      "I forgive you," Byron stated with a smile.

      After a half an hour of negotiation, Byron, Paula, and Nara all agreed not to poke fun at anyone ever again. Byron also agreed to take the tabloid out of all the shops. But before leaving the happy moment in time, all three of them gave a big group hug and a pat on the back. Byron waved as the pair left his nice, cozy shop in the middle of Terror Mountain. He rolled up his sleeves and looked dashing, except for the fact that when he turned around, a small sign hung on his back:

      Poke me: for I am Byron the Baby!

      Now you all may be wondering what the point of this story was. Well, mainly it's what goes around come around but it also has a bit of a twist as to always check your back after giving a hug to someone. Okay, okay, there's no true moral to the story. But you have to admit, it was fun to listen to! Now go away, I still have to try and get this sign off my back….

The End

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