Ilere's Apprentice

     My story begins many years ago, when I was barely old enough to walk. I was born into an outcast family - forbidden to enter Faerieland for crimes never mentioned - but we were happy. One of the few clear memories I retain from those early years was of my mother reading a story to my brother and I. True, it was a story that I now know would have had my mother up on charges of high treason had it been known she was recounting it but I was blissfully unaware of that then. The ignorance of childhood and the simple elation to be spending time with my mother and older brother were all I needed.

     If I am unhappy about anything Ilere has done to me over the years, the blurring of all but a few well-chosen memories from my time with my family is perhaps the thing that saddens me the most. I can see why she did it, as I would not have stayed once I grew powerful enough to resist if I had the full knowledge of my past... but even knowing the why, it is hard to fathom how she could bring herself to do it. Ilere, for all her faults, is not a Dark Faerie - she does not go out of her way to cause pain to those around her.

     I have long since found out that my parents were part of a strong underground movement to reinstate some of the old laws in Faerieland. The day I was lost to them forever, they received a message from one of the leaders of the resistance requesting that they travel urgently to a secret clearing in the Haunted Woods to pick up a Faerie, escaped from Fyora's guard, with essential information for us. For reasons unknown, the message stipulated that they were to bring me along. They thought it was a test and that I would soon be allowed to take a more active role in the uprising. Even before we left, I knew better.

     Ilere and I had been known to each other even before that fateful night. She called out to me in my dreams, taunted me with offers of power I was never meant to have and began to educate me on the finer workings of our world. To this day, I do not know what drew her to me - what was so special about me? I was a mongrel, a reject. No one of consequence should have wanted anything to do with me. Members of the resistance might have been more open to new ideas than the Faeries of Fyora's court who banished us, but even they made no secret of their hatred for my brother and I. Prejudice is learned from the cradle and reinforced over a lifetime - changing feelings as ingrained as that is a harder task than any one Faerie can overcome.

     For several nights before the message to my parents arrived, I could sense Ilere's distraction during our astral lessons. She let slip more of her emotions than ever before - things she had always been so careful not to reveal suddenly fell into my mind. Ilere herself was leading the resistance of which my parents were so proud to be a part... I remember that shocking me at the time. Now I don't understand how I can have been so narrow-minded not to see it sooner. Oh, the power of hindsight. Perhaps the most revealing thing she unintentionally told me during the course of those nights was probably also the most innocent: she was growing old. The resistance was taking more and more out of her, and she was no longer sure she could keep up. It was then, I think, that I began to suspect. She wanted an heir, an apprentice. And, as I was later to discover, a daughter.

     Many things began to dawn on me as I pieced together her thoughts within my own mind. Why she chose me to fill that role, I could not begin to imagine, but I came to realise that she was grooming me to carry on after she left. In a way, my parents were right to assume the resistance leaders were testing me that night, but in the most important ways, they were also wrong. Ilere does not test; she simply expects that you have already passed.

     We left together at dusk, though I am not sure why. The meeting was not set to take place until the witching hour, and my parents were old hands in the secrecy required for their jobs - they knew better than to arrive early and perhaps tip off any watching members of Fyora's guard. Thus, we lingered longer on our journey than we might have done otherwise, and this gave Ilere all the opportunity she required to lure me away. The place she chose was obvious and all the more brilliant because of that; for who would really expect someone to be lying in wait in the very place where everyone warns you to be careful? For my part, I was still very young both in years and in experience. The whole journey was an adventure to me. Whether my dreams warned me of Ilere's desire for an heir or not, I did not truly believe she would remove me from all that I had ever known.

     As we approached the darkest part of the Haunted Woods, where it is rumoured Werelupes prowl and the shadow of a Usul dwells, a movement in the outer reaches of my vision drew my attention. Intent as my parents were on the path ahead of them, they did not notice as I stopped following them and gazed into the depths of the woods. I've often wondered about that... did Ilere cast an illusion, so they would not know where along the journey I had disappeared? My instinct is that she did, though of course, proof is elusive. She does an admirable job of covering her tracks, Ilere does. Once I focused on the spot where my vision altered, she appeared. I wasn't scared - not then. I'm not sure I've ever been scared since, actually. Just... disorientated.

     "My dear, the time has come," she said to me. "We must be heading home now."

     Contrary to my normal, slightly argumentative nature, I simply nodded. From then on, that night is a blank. Ilere bewitched me, I'm sure, to prevent me from knowing where her home was or the way back to my family.

     My memories become more certain, more real, after that. I woke up the next morning in Ilere's home; my home, now. She began to train me in magic, something I freely admit - I was delighted to learn. As the mongrel daughter of two outcasts, I had not expected to be allowed to use my magic. I excelled in my training, and as the years went by and Ilere allowed me more freedoms. There are still spells of obedience and loyalty on me even now, but I find I do not care very much anymore. In all but a few areas, I am free to make my own choices, and I owe Ilere a great deal for the magic I wield - so perhaps a certain amount of loyalty to her is not unjustified.

     I would have more than just occasional memories of the light, had I not followed Ilere, that much is certain. But would that be a good more, or a bad one? The older I get, and the longer I live this life, the more I wonder...

     Would the light have been right for me?

     The End.