Chet Flash wuz here Circulation: 90,556,196 Issue: 161 | 8th day of Collecting, Y6
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

We Give You... Sand

by island_faerie10


MYSTERY ISLAND - Bottled sand. We’ve all heard of the swirly, gritty, rather colorful stuff. We’ve eagerly gotten in line for Tombola, waiting in long lines to pull a ticket. it’s not a winning one! We groan in misery...wallowing in sorrow...Then we cheer at the thought of a booby prize. With intense anticipation, we close our fingers around the precious item. Will it be a royal paint brush? Or a negg...or...oh, never mind. It’s just a stupid bottle of green sand. Might as well have been given a pile of dung.

So what exactly is the purpose of colored sand? It’s not food or a toy, so what’s the point in selling it? You can’t decorate your NeoHome with it, you can’t feed it to your pets, and it’s one of the cheapest items in Neopia. Apparently some people like collecting sand. (But we think these owners have accidentally consumed rotten omelette.) Who wants to collect such a worthless item? It isn’t even awfully expensive, ranging from 5-20NP. Well, there is one good side to sand, if you’re broke, you can give them out for Christmas gifts. (Caution: this may results in angry mobs demanding gifts) Or, if attacked by the Pant Devil, simply smash him over the head with your trusty bottle of red sand and be on your way! (But don’t take my advice for that. The Pant Devil is known to be temperamental.) Perhaps there is a point...and that was precisely what this reporter was going to find out.

I’ve come up with a list of possible purposes for this bottled sand. Through a series of careful research, (*cough not cough*) we have determined that bottled sand may possibly be...

1. It’s the results of poor pets who’s owners “accidentally” put the lab ray on to high a setting.

2. It’s some sort of maniacal device invented by Dr. Sloth. (okay... perhaps a bit far-fetched for this innocent looking sand, but who would pass up a chance to frame Sloth?)

3. It’s really some sort of magical faerie disguise! (or not...)

4. It’s simply the remains of bottled faeries who, by some strange incident, were tossed into a fireplace or oven.

5. It’s a really cheap brand of bath salts.

6. The Tombola guy simply has way to much time on his hands, so he sits around and colors sand.

7. It’s straight from the makers of the “Wheel of Monotony.” Designed to bore you to tears.

8. Perhaps there's an obscure tribe of Myncis hanging out on Mystery Island who worship sand.

9. It’s designed to drive us insane wondering what it’s about...(if it is, it’s doing a good job!)

10. Someone finally came to their senses and blew up the Pteri on the “Neopets Is Down For Maintenance” page.

11. There’s obviously a Kiko Hater Guild *Inbox floods with Kiko-lover hate mail* out there. Kiko’s, be warned, stay FAR from the Battledome, or you'll end up like this sand...

12. I didn’t MEAN to leave my blue fuzzle in the oven...

13. It HAS to have something to do with has to...

14. Hey, this is kinda off track, IS kinda cool...I mean, it’s sand...SNAP OUT OF IT! SAND IS EVIL!!!

15. Yeah. It’s evil. And sinister and trying to take over the world. What? I am NOT paranoid!

16. Maybe it’s not the sand that’s special...maybe it’s the bottle!

17. But who wants an empty bottle?

18. It’s the results of a fire faerie gone berserk.

19. Is there such thing as a sand faerie?

20. It’s (this is a bit ridiculous, unimaginable but...) just sand.

Perhaps we’ll never really know what Bottled Sand is. Maybe we’ll spend our lives wondering why in Neopia anyone would want to stick colored sand in a bottle. It's an enigma shrouded in mystery, an insane and twisted contraption!!!WHAT’S THE POINT?? HMM? WHY IS THERE JUST A BUNCH OF STUPID BOTTLES FILLED WITH SAND? WHAT-IS-THEIR-PUPOSE??? Ahem. Pardon. Anyway, there are many types of sand, so if you decide to collect them (for no apparent purpose) take a look at these varieties:

Bottle of Green Sand - Well, it’s green. That’s about it. It’ll cost you about 10 NP, because, well, it’s basically useless.

Bottle of Red Sand - Red sand. Why anyone would want it is a mystery... but if you do, you can get it for 15 NP.

Bottle of Black Sand - Yet again, this sand will cost you a whopping 15 NP.

Bottle of Blue Sand- This sand is a bit more expensive, 20NP. But I’m not really sure why. It’s not really any different from the others, except that it’s blue.(How could I have overlooked that?)

Bottle of Orange Sand-The Shop Wizard say’s that this particular sand is really’ll cost you 5NP.

For those of you who simply have far to much time on your hands, set out to collect rarer varieties such as the bottle of glowing sand. You can also mix up some sand in the Cooking Pot and may then receive...MORE SAND! Yes! It’s a dream come true!

Now, if you don’t like paying these expensive prices for sand, (or you’re just plain cheap)you can always head out to Mystery Island and play Tombola. If you’re lucky, you’ll win NP instead of sand. I mean, this sand has no purpose. None,’s just some pretty colored stuff stuck in a jar. Who could find excitement in that? Three words: The Tombola guy.

This masked...individual...hangs out on Mystery Island running a lottery-type game “Tombola” one of the prizes for such said game is bottled sand. I’m assuming this is where the sand came from, as a cheap souvenir for tourists. But, never know...

There are those of us who, despite the fact the bottled sand is pointless, find it alluring. (Who me? never! Why would I have an extensive collection of sand in my living room, next to the sofa, stacked to the ceiling... glittering majestically in their bottles...each variety sought out and bought? Me? Of course not!) And then, there are quite a few of us who think it’s as worthless as dung.

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Rocko's Petpet Life
The most boring Petpet.

by jerk_head


Syntax Error
Can't even get a good night's sleep...

by deadly_saiyan_v2


Vacation Anyone?
Are you and your pets planning on taking a vacation anytime soon? Oh really?! Fancy that. Well then you absolutely must read this!

by dragonfire1722


Beating Spam into Mince Meat!
What is spam? Stupid Pointless Annoying Messages. Don’t get me started about what spammers are!

by plushieowner

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.