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A Reader's Guide to Jhudora


by mamasimios

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Who can claim to understand the heart of a Dark Faerie? And what of the darkest faerie of them all, the incomparable Jhudora? She sits on high, perched upon her cloud of swirling green mists, demanding items ranging from the mundane to the most expensive in all of Neopia. For what purpose? There are those who say that she has spies who walk among us, watching and listening and reporting back to her evil eminence. But what of those who spy on her?

What? Did you not know that we Neopians are not helplessly, ignorantly, at Jhudora’s mercy? For that is the chink in Jhudora’s armour: by employing others to do her evil bidding, she is in a position to blindly trust those whom she employs, and as in all such arrangements, there are bound to be those who will talk about what they have seen. There are also those who will write of what they have seen for the education, for the edification, indeed for the enlightenment, of all. Want to understand Jhudora? Read on!

Now, to ease your way along the path of this enlightenment, I would recommend a brief overview of the various Jhudora-themed Collectable/Trading Cards which each have seeds of information. These cards include:

1 & 2. Jhudora the Dark Faerie and Jhudora (TCG)

I have lumped these two cards together because they each contain the exact same information: that Jhudora is manipulative, foul-tempered, and extremely demanding. You may say that this is information with which anyone who has ever done one of her quests is intimately acquainted, but as I stated earlier, we are at this point easing into our understanding of the Dark Faerie, and this is an excellent place to begin; a keen reminder of why we wish to know Jhudora better.

3. Jhudoras Evil Eye (TCG)

Staring into this fevered, jaundiced orb is an exercise in self-control. Although the card is only made of paper, it is extremely difficult to maintain the Faerie’s gaze, to not imagine that the menace hinted at by the arched brow and slitted lid can manifest itself through this medium.

4. Jhudoras Bodyguards (TCG)

Chained securely to a brick wall, Sarah and Daisy act as Jhudora’s personal bodyguards. One cannot imagine any adventurer or ill wisher would be intrepid, or foolish, enough to attempt to pass these vicious Gruslens, they of gleaming eyes and sharpened claws and fangs. And what does it inform us about their mistress, when we are assured that Sarah and Daisy were sweet and gentle kittens?

5. Jhudoras Quest (TCG)

Note the inscription, “Are you SURE you aren’t on one of Illusen’s quests?” Here we first encounter Jhudora’s much talked about rivalry with her fellow faerie. As a defining attribute of Jhudora’s personality, this jealousy should not be underestimated.

6. Jhudoras Storm (TCG)

What powers are in the faerie’s possession? What storm is she capable of unleashing? I am afraid that this item asks more questions than it answers, but the mere fact of its existence warns us to tread gently.

7. Jhudoras Wand (TCG)

And here we finally encounter the source of Jhudora’s powers, her legendary wand. In this card’s inscription, Jhudora laments of the time it will take her to sweep all of the ash off of her carpet. It brings chills to the flesh to imagine what, or who, that ash was formerly.

Having become acquainted with the basic information these cards provide, I would now recommend a more in depth study of Jhudora. To that end, I would like to suggest a few books whose contents could prove essential:

1. Fantastic Jhudora Stories

This book promises to tell you everything there is to know about Jhudora. If only that were true! It is in the nature of publishing companies, and those employed by the Faerieland Bookshop are no exception, to exaggerate the merits of their titles in order to sell copies, make the publishers even richer than their stable of authors, and generally hoodwink the reading public to their own benefit. This book is, however, a very good place to begin, and with further research, a solid knowledge of what has been learned (so far) about the darkest faerie can be amassed.

2. Jhudoras Quests

This book is advertised as “Funny anecdotes from Neopets who have been asked for the strangest things by Jhudora”. Here I ask you to not be fooled by its amusing format; not fooled into believing this collection contains anything less than the keys to Jhudora’s scheme. As I mentioned in the introduction to this reading list, Neopians have long wondered why Jhudora asks for the items that she does. If a pattern can be deduced from this list of quest items, perhaps all of Neopia can be protected from the eventual unveiling of her evil plans.

3. Jhudora and the Evil Eyes

Although ostensibly a work of fiction, this book’s author has put himself at great risk to identify and educate the masses about Jhudora’s ability to enchant with the powers of her gaze alone. As with the TCG of similar name, a staring contest with the image upon this book’s cover is neither recommended nor, indeed, is it winnable.

4. Jhudora Potion Kit

This may be sold as a mere toy, but I assure you that an intimate of Jhudora (now more richly employed as a double-crossing author by one of the greedy publishing houses mentioned above) wrote the book of potions included in this kit. Each page is a direct link to the inner workings of the Darkest Faerie’s mind, each potion a key to unravelling the powers that she possesses. To create the potions listed here is to briefly inhabit the purple-haired body of Jhudora herself.

5. Jhudoras Secret

And now we come to the last, and perhaps the most enlightening, of all the books ever written about Jhudora. And how can I make this claim? You see, this book was written by the Darkest Faerie herself, and it is rumoured to contain her greatest secret as inscribed by her own evil hand. You may note that an apparently impenetrable lock guards it, and impenetrable it is. The only way to reveal its contents would be to have its key in one’s possession, as I do. With one turn of this key, I will know Jhudora’s secret, perhaps the purpose of her quests or the hatching of some unrelated evil scheme. This secret, for the safety and enlightenment of all of Neopia, I will now learn and share with you here. With one turn of this key...

*Note added by aforementioned, unfairly maligned, Publishing Company:

This manuscript was found, as is, on the desk of an otherwise empty cubicle within our writers’ area. I should add that the cubicle was empty but for a small pile of ash, messily swept into the missing writer’s wastebasket.

 
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