How to Survive a Jelly Festival Gone Wrong

     To try and persuade the negative public opinion and relieve some of the fear behind the erratic growth rate of jelly, we are exploring some effective ways of combating this gelatinous substance. During an emergency at the festival, please take these precautions to mitigate the threat and stay safe.

     Stick ‘em with the pointy end

     In the unlikely case that you find yourself face to face with a growing mass of jelly, it is important to, firstly, grab the sharpest object you can find in your surroundings. With the pointy end pointing towards the jelly, start poking holes into the incoming threat. It has been scientifically proven that the extra holes on the surface of the jelly provide additional escape routes for the built-in pressure to exhaust into the surroundings. This splendidly smelling release of pressure will significantly reduce the mass of the jelly, slowing down its volatile growth. Just stick and poke until all the jelly looks like nothing more than an old, rodent-infested piece of cheese.

     Rub salt to the wound

     Another valid way to combat the growing mass of jelly is to rub salt onto and into the substance itself. Research has shown that fine-grained salt is more effective than larger grains of salt when applied to the surface of the jelly. If holes have been poked prior, then thin and thick grains of salt can be inserted in the openings to counteract the rate of growth. The bitterness of the salt helps break down the sweet surface of the jelly. As the surface melts away, pressure is released, and the mass reduces in size. Throw salt away as if you are preparing a salted caramel jelly for dessert, for you and the kids.

     For every jelly there is an equal and opposite attractor

     We all know Dr. Landelbrot’s Void Attractor Prototype, used during the infestation of void blobs in Neopia. However, very few know that Dr. Landelbrot has recently developed a new, pocket-sized prototype that attracts and scoops up stray jelly pieces, called Dr. Landelbrot’s Jelly Attractor Prototype. Unlike its void counterpart, which only attracts 10 void blobs a day, the jelly prototype can scoop up up to 100kg of jelly, due to the difference in density of the two substances. All you need to do is charge the device, aim and fire. The output signal of the device latches onto different jelly blobs, given that the signal is made up of the opposite biological markers that make up the jelly. It then converts the jelly mass into released heat energy until the jelly is small enough to be swallowed up by the opening of the machine. Just remember to empty the vat and recharge when necessary.

     To see is to devour

     When all feels futile, remember that jelly is an edible product, which can be consumed by any species of Neopians with a big enough appetite. Start by cutting jelly pieces off the main jelly branch and devour them like there's no tomorrow. Let the succulent sweet taste fill up your belly, and when you are done, call in your Grarrl and Skeith friends to lend a helping hand. Grarrls and Skeiths are known for their big appetite, eating everything from food to furniture - and the list doesn’t stop at the letter F. These two species have a bigger appetite than normal, which makes them quite efficient in an eating crisis of dangerously expanding jelly. It might be a prudent idea to arrange to visit the festival with a friend of this species, who can help you out in case of an emergency.

     U-Jelly?

     Our research and development scientists (in collaboration with Dr. Landelbrot, as we were advised to state by our lawyers) have invented the new U-Jelly bag, the ultimate accessory for the thrill seekers and the pessimists alike, who intend to visit the festival. The bag features all the necessary equipment to combat a jelly revolution.

     In the side compartments, you can find two long, pointy sticks. These sticks are foldable and can be safely guarded inside the side pockets. With a quick flip, they change to their pointy form, ready to stab any incoming jelly.

     In the front pocket, you can find 2kg of thin salt and 1kg of thick-grained salt. The salt is kept in air-tight bags, which can be thrown onto the surface of the jelly or inserted into the poked holes. On contact with the substance, the outside protective bag dissolves naturally, releasing the grains and starting the jelly decompression.

     The main bag compartment houses the Dr. Landelbrot’s Jelly Attractor Prototype. The equipment comes fully charged and with an empty vat, which will prove useful during an emergency. Our researchers have also included a portable charging apparatus, which is powered by nothing other than jelly blobs. Simply empty your full vat into the opening of the charger and start charging. This apparatus has limited charging capabilities, but it should suffice for a day visit.

     Lastly, twelve pagers are included at the bottom of the bag. These pagers can be used to communicate with G.A.S.F, the Grarrl and Skeith Foundation. GASF is an association of different Grarrl and Skeith volunteers, ready to jump into action and start eating whatever is necessary. With the simple click of a button, your location is transmitted to a volunteer’s pager, notifying them of impending doom. Each volunteer can accept the call to come and help, which puts their pager in a state of Busy, or reject the call - due to distance or other arrangements - in which case they have the option to keep their pager in an Active state, or change it to Idle.

     To conclude, these are all the necessary precautions to take in order to enjoy a safe Jelly festival. The chances of an unpredictable growth spurt are quite low, therefore I would urge every Neopian to visit and have a jelly good time.