The Thing That Makes Us Brave

     “I’m, uh…” Jonah stammered. He gulped and did his best to feign confidence, puffing his chest and raising his chin. “G-g-good day, great guards. I’m Jonah from Meridell, and I’ve travelled a long way to be here because I’m in need of advice from the King. I have a question only the wise King Hagan can answer.”

     The two guards exchanged a look, then nodded at each other and stood their spears upright and beside them again. “Well, I’m sure you know the drill,” the Chomby Guard to the right said. “First, you must impress the king with your own words of wisdom. Then, if he’s impressed, he will grant you an audience.”

     Jonah shook his hands in front of him. “Oh no, I don’t need an audience,” he said. “I just need to talk to him one-on-one. It’ll be quick, I promise.”

     This time, it was the Chomby Guard’s turn to raise an eyebrow at the Shoyru. “I meant he’ll be your audience,” he said. “He’ll listen to what you have to ask.”

     Jonah gave the guard a sheepish smile. “Oh, sorry,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “This is my first time visiting a king. I could never think of a good enough joke to tell King Skarll.”

     “Well, that whole audience conversation that just happened might do the trick,” the Grarrl Guard said, laughing. Then, he cleared his throat. “Don’t forget to bow down before the King before you begin talking to him, Shoyru Jonah.”

     The two guards opened the door, and in the room, Jonah saw a green carpet reaching all the way from the door to the opposite end of the room. There, King Hagan sat on his green and golden throne, looking unimpressed as he watched a Hissi slither away with her head hung down, and a Gelert make his way to where the Hissi previously stood.

     As Jonah walked inside, he couldn’t help but drop his jaw a little at how beautiful the king’s throne room was. Brightvale truly loved their stained glass windows, and King Hagan must’ve had the most beautiful ones in all the kingdom — walking into this room was like walking into a kaleidoscope. Jonah kept on going until he was only a few feet away from King Hagan, leaning against his armrest with a frown as he awaited what the Gelert in front of him had to say.

     “One should never assume that the agility of an enemy is comparable to a flock of Halloween Angelpuss!” the Gelert said with a puffed-out chest and a smile.

     King Hagan leaned forward from his throne and narrowed his eyes at the Gelert. “Are you aware that what you just said to me was complete gibberish?” he said. He waved his hand dismissively at the citizen. “Away with you, Gelert, and bring your balderdash along with you!”

     The Gelert backed away from the King, and as he made his way defeatedly out of the room, Jonah walked forward, positioned himself in front of the King, and bowed.

     “Good day, Mr. King!” He froze as he realised what he had just said. “Um, I mean, your majesty! My name is Jonah from the Kingdom of Meridell, and uh… I was wondering —“

     “There will be time later for what you wonder, young Shoyru,” the King said. “First, you must prove your wisdom to me if you want my attention.“

     “Right,” Jonah said. “Well, uh, did you know that… That…”

     “That, what?” King Hagan said. “Spit it out while we’re young, Shoyru.”

     “T-t-that if you take a flat rock, and you put a stick on top of it, it’ll point you to the direction of North?” Jonah said. “Something in the Neopian air makes it do this. That way, no matter where you are, you can always find your way out. As long as you have a flat rock and a stick, of course.”

     King Hagan stayed silent for a while, watching Jonah with an expression Jonah couldn’t read. Then, he rested a cheek against his fist and frowned at Jonah. “Well, of course I knew that!” he shouted, pounding his fist against his armrest. “I knew that since I was a young Skeith. Are you insulting me with this kindergarten knowledge, Shoyru? Is this out of spite because you’re from Meridell?”

     “N-no, King Hagan, I didn’t mean —”

     “Guards!” King Hagan’s voice boomed across the throne room. “Take this Shoyru out of my sight!”

     “Wait, King Hagan!” Jonah was watching the guards make their way towards him now, and he had to think fast before he was kicked out of the throne room. He looked at the King and said, “I was wondering if I could impress you not with a statement, but with a question instead!”

     King Hagan stared at Jonah, and then he put his palm up, which made the guards stop and freeze where they halted. Jonah gave King Hagan the biggest smile he could, but it didn’t do much to change the King’s expression. It did, however, cause him to lean back in his chair and place a palm under his chin, which Jonah took as a good sign. At least he wasn’t being kicked out yet.

     “Go on,” King Hagan said.

     “Well, I have a question that nobody can seem to answer,” Jonah said. “Not Illusen, not the Ixi at Brightvale Books, not even the Library Faerie who was with Illusen when I went to visit her.”

     “My boy, you think you’re the first Neopian to try and stump me with a question?” King Hagan said. He gave a hearty laugh, then smiled viciously at the young Shoyru. “Very well, I’ll humour you. What is this quote-unquote unanswerable question you wish to ask me?”

     Jonah gulped, took a deep breath, and stated his question out loud. “Where does the Pant Devil hide all the stuff he steals?”

     King Hagan stopped smiling. His face turned serious as his lips pressed into a thin line and he looked down at the floor, deep in thought. “Hmmm.”

     Now that the question was out, Jonah couldn’t stop talking. “Your majesty, I was only trying to entice you with the whole stumping you thing,” he said. “I really do hope you know where the Pant Devil hoards his stolen items, and that you’d be willing to tell me. He stole something really important of mine, you see, and I really need to get it back.”

      “Well, this is a surprise,” King Hagan said, tilting his head back. “I don’t think I’ve ever read any documented report of where the Pant Devil could reside.”

      “So nobody knows where he lives?” Jonah said, his jaw dropping. “How is that possible? He’s stolen more items than the Kiko Lake Altador Cup team!”

     “He originates from the Haunted Woods, you see, and they don’t have the best archive keeping there,” King Hagan said, rubbing his chin. “There is one Neopian who could possibly know. He’s from the Haunted Woods itself and collects knowledge from the citizens of his land as I do, so he’s your best bet when it comes to gaining this information.”

      Jonah gulped. “The Haunted Woods?” he said. He bit his lower lip. “I’ve never been. Is it as scary as it sounds?”

     “Well, it’s not called the Happy-Go-Lucky Woods, now is it?” King Hagan said. “Yes, the one you’re looking for is called The Brain Tree, who gathers his knowledge from more unorthodox ways than I do.”

      “The B-b-brain Tree?” Jonah said. He gave King Hagan a nervous smile. “Are you sure there’s no other option?”

      King Hagan crossed his arms and stared at Jonah. “How badly do you want to retrieve this stolen item of yours, young Shoyru?”

      Jonah stayed quiet for a while, then closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh. “Really badly,” he said. “Badly enough to go to the Haunted Woods if there really is no other option.”

      “Really badly?” King Hagan said, bobbing his head back. He leaned back against his chair, smiling at Jonah. “I must say, I’m impressed. This must be a very important item of yours. Most Neopians who wouldn’t even dare to do so for a stolen Paint Brush or a Morphing Potion.”

     “It was a gift from my best friend,” Jonah said, then stopped himself. “Well… former best friend. It’s been forever since we’ve spoken, and I was just about to open the gift, and…” He sighed again, and this time, his voice dropped to only above a whisper. “Well, I just hate the way things faded out between us.”

      King Hagan looked at him with what Jonah thought were sympathetic eyes and a sympathetic smile, which surprised him. He didn’t expect such sympathy from the Brightvale King.

     For a while, neither of them spoke.

     Then, King Hagan broke the silence.

     “You know, your king is my estranged brother,” the King said. “I haven’t spoken to him in a long time, either.” He turned his head left and looked away from Jonah for a while, just long enough for Jonah to wonder if he should speak up to remind him that he was there.

     Before he could, though, King Hagan turned his gaze back toward him. “You should go, young one,” he said. “You might regret it if you don’t, if only just a bit.”

      Jonah nodded slowly. Then, he jolted at the realisation of something. “But I don’t even know how to get to the Haunted Woods.”

      “Go to the docks of Brightvale and find a pilot there named Tiffany,” King Hagan said. “Tell her King Hagan sent you. She’ll understand what that means right away.”

     “The docks, Tiffany, King Hagan sent me,” Jonah said. “Got it.”

     “And Shoyru?” King Hagan said. He gave Jonah another sympathetic smile. “Good luck.”

      Jonah smiled back and bowed. “Thank you, your majesty.”

      “But before that, you’ve got a long journey ahead of you!” King Hagan said. “You should fill yourself up and enjoy the Kingdom’s delicacies.” He turned to the guards to his right and gave them a signal with his hands, which must’ve meant something as one of them ran to a cabinet against the wall and pulled something out of a drawer, walked towards Jonah, and handed it to him.

      Jonah looked at the piece of glossy paper he was holding in his hands. “A voucher for a free meal at the Brightvale Fruits?”

      “You should try the Frubix Cube on Toast,” King Hagan said with a lick of his lips. “Oh, I could eat those all day.”

To be continued…