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Circulation: 195,197,181 |
Issue: 831 | 15th day of Relaxing, Y20 |
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Short Stories
 | A Letter to the Freaky Factory ThiefDear Purple Grundo Sir, Hello. I am a worker at what me and my coworkers have come to call the “Freaky Factory”, one of Krelufun’s toy factories. I have seen you there, on my shift, stealing toys from the line after I have just made them. I won’t ask you why you do such things, I only ask that you stop.
by moonandflowers |
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"A Letter to the Freaky Factory Thief" by moonandflowers
Dear Purple Grundo Sir,
Hello. I am a worker at what me and my coworkers have come to call the "Freaky Factory", one of Krelufun’s toy factories. I have seen you there, on my shift, stealing toys from the line after I have just made them. I won’t ask you why you do such things, I only ask that you stop. I implore that you please, please stop.
For one thing, you’re making my job a lot harder than it needs to be, and I am not the one you need to be punishing. I know that you think you’re hurting Dr. Sloth in your thievery, but I promise you, he his not hurt in the slightest by your acts. You know who is? Me. And me alone. I am not your enemy, sir. I am just another cog in the wretched machine we call Dr. Sloth’s Empire. A cog with bills to pay. A cog that you’re actively trying to… throw… rust on? Okay, that metaphor broke down pretty quickly. You get my point.
And let’s talk about the margin you must be making off these toys. It seems like you’ve dropped a hefty amount of neopoints to go as unnoticed as possible in our factory. Painted purple, with an outfit that perfectly matches our piping system? I mean, that’s some dedication, I’ll give you that. But how much of that are you really making back by selling our figures? I know I personally shoo you off the line anytime I see you (distracting me from my work, I might add,) and I would assume my coworkers would do the same on their shifts.
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