| The inside scoop on Jelly W-argh! *choke* |
Circulation: 197,560,623 |
Issue: 989 | 11th day of Hiding, Y25 |
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Dr. Sloth’s Etiquette Guide to the NeoBoards
I had plans, you know. How can you ask me to throw together a guide on such short notice? Even if I wanted to write it, my schedule would barely allow it. Here, look; at 4 o’clock, wallow in self-pity. At 4:30, stare into the abyss. 5 o’clock, wrestle with my self-loathing… I simply cannot cancel on myself again. And even if I did write a guide, what would I write? You say you want to communicate better on the NeoBoards? Have better conversations? Become friends? Bah, what nonsense.This whole “getting along” thing and understanding each other has gone way too far. Why are you not arguing with each other more? How will you ever get back to the wondrous world of peak NeoBoard drama that was the glorious Year 8? Yes yes, some would say that Year 12 was better. They know not of what they speak. But alas, it simply cannot be done. However, I guess anything is an improvement from the current… state of discussions. Or rather lack thereof. Sigh. Alright! Let us get on with it. I have places to be and enemies to zap! Listen up, weaklings!
Firstly, do not keep calm and carry on. Make a scene! We’re in the middle of an arms race, or have you not noticed?
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