| Up-to-date coverage on faerie wars |
Circulation: 195,197,181 |
Issue: 831 | 15th day of Relaxing, Y20 |
|
| |
New Series
| |
|
Search the Neopian Times
Headlines
"A Letter to the Freaky Factory Thief" by moonandflowers
Dear Purple Grundo Sir,
Hello. I am a worker at what me and my coworkers have come to call the "Freaky Factory", one of Krelufun’s toy factories. I have seen you there, on my shift, stealing toys from the line after I have just made them. I won’t ask you why you do such things, I only ask that you stop. I implore that you please, please stop.
For one thing, you’re making my job a lot harder than it needs to be, and I am not the one you need to be punishing. I know that you think you’re hurting Dr. Sloth in your thievery, but I promise you, he his not hurt in the slightest by your acts. You know who is? Me. And me alone. I am not your enemy, sir. I am just another cog in the wretched machine we call Dr. Sloth’s Empire. A cog with bills to pay. A cog that you’re actively trying to… throw… rust on? Okay, that metaphor broke down pretty quickly. You get my point.
And let’s talk about the margin you must be making off these toys. It seems like you’ve dropped a hefty amount of neopoints to go as unnoticed as possible in our factory. Painted purple, with an outfit that perfectly matches our piping system? I mean, that’s some dedication, I’ll give you that. But how much of that are you really making back by selling our figures? I know I personally shoo you off the line anytime I see you (distracting me from my work, I might add,) and I would assume my coworkers would do the same on their shifts.
Other Stories
---------
 A Letter to the Freaky Factory Thief
Dear Purple Grundo Sir,Hello. I am a worker at what me and my coworkers have come to call the “Freaky Factory”, one of Krelufun’s toy factories. I have seen you there, on my shift, stealing toys from the line after I have just made them. I won’t ask you why you do such things, I only ask that you stop.
by moonandflowers |
---------
 Snaw's Guide to Acting Like a Major Boss NT Star!
I have compiled a list of the most essential qualities of anybody who has ever been accepted into the Neopian Times! Whether it’s one hundred entries or just a single measly one, having the right persona can make any of you wannabe losers into an NT Star worth noticing!
by downrightdude |
---------
 Come Cook With Us: Altador Edition
For this week’s edition of Come Cook With Us, we’ve decided to take you to the heart of Altador and its culinary roots. With the Altador Cup is coming up very soon, we want to make sure that you know everything you need to know about how to prepare the best of Altador’s favourite dishes. Serve any one of these meals and no one will care if their team wins or loses the cup, they’ll be too distracted by your delicious cooking instead! in collaboration with lauren92_k
by mel_liew_ming_li |
---------
---------
|
|
|
