If It Fits in the Mouth, It’s Food

     While other Neopets worry about presentation, seasoning and silly things like expiration dates, our hearty Skeiths believe in the higher and lesser known truth of “if it fits in the mouth, it’s food”! This unique look on “gourmet” expands beyond the boundaries of societal standard accepted delicacies and allows our misunderstood friends to experience a world of food that is unlike no other.

     So to show our appreciation to our most beloved pets, we have scoured all of Neopia from the back of the shed in our Neohomes, to the floor of the Battledome, and all the way through to the bottom of our safety deposit boxes to bring you the ultimate list of (questionable) food so they too can feel special and properly looked after.

     1. Chocolate Bed

     This plush cocoa luxury furniture item transforms from a mere bed into a Skeith’s tasty midnight snack. It gives your precious Skeith the option to relax and snack until the bed is fully eaten. You might want to keep some wet wipes handy for the pillows. Rumours are that they have liquid chocolate cores!

     2. Molten Branch Sword

     A spicy, molten, gooey battle sword such as this is actually a favourite among Skeith due to the nice, sharp charcoal aftertaste. The natural lingering heat is often favoured for those colder days outside. This is an all-natural item to help your Skeith stay fit! (But don’t tell them that.)

     3. Glowing Pebble Potion

     The unexpected crisp pebble crunch of this liquid potion gives warm mineral firecrackers in your Skeith’s mouth. The vibes of this totally unorthodox Meridell mixture is childhood vibes with its colourful palette and fizzy in your face before you drink bubbles. Oh, the fizz is felt inside. They eat it whole.

     4. King Skarl Garden Statue

     The cold, earthy crunch of this stone statue of one of our favourite kings has a thick geothermal aftertaste that is often nice to have after a spicier dish. The larger chunks of this stone delicacy can often turn to dust and puff out in large clouds, so I’d recommend this as an outside snack!

     5. Dung Wardrobe

     The delicate crunch of this stale dung wardrobe has a perfect aroma that begs to be gotten rid of. Thankfully, after having one whiff of this earthly fine dining storage turned food item, our Skeiths will be begging to let them gnaw on the furniture.

     6. Yooyuball Goal Net Shield

     This after-sport snack is perfect for midday flossing as the net serves a dual purpose to nourish and keep healthy dental hygiene! It’s unclear if the yellow and blue bars are lemon and blueberry flavoured, or if it’s just our imagination. As my Skeith usually devours this whole, they have never been able to answer my eluding question.

     7. Ridiculously Heavy Battle Hammer

     I don’t know about you, but I suffered from tripping over these after a trip back from the Battledome in my old days, but once a Skeith came into my life, it’s not a problem anymore! The heavy metal provides ample iron for your poor, poor Skeith. You don’t want to carry them anyway, and they are always hungry. It’s the perfect snack or girl dinner.

     8. Void Baby Space Fungus

     I mean… they are causing problems for us. Their numbers are multiplying. The reserve barracks can’t keep up. Might as well let your Skeith take care of the problem. Just don’t ask questions. I don’t think I would want to know what it would taste like. (Is it a mushroom flavour? Wait. Don’t answer that.)

     9. Creepy Wind-Up Meepit

     I don’t know about you, but this is one thing I am happy to feed my Skeith after I get it from the Quest Log. It looks at me with that bombastic, mad side eye, glaring into my soul like I have done something wrong. The only thing I haven’t done wrong was letting my precious hungry Skeith have it sooner. Don’t worry, you won't hear any crunching. This usually goes down whole.

     10. Enormous Fake Diamond

     This liar of crystalline fractures provides a delicately loud crunch to your starving Skeith baby that echoes loudly in your mind about hoping they never actually find and eat the real thing. On that note, you might want to keep it away from your Elderly Rock Petpet.. Just in case.

     11. Ghost Goople

     Yes, it’s icky. We all know it. But look, if your Skeith always had a dream of becoming a Ghost Catcher, then this will be the closest thing that you will be able to provide to make that dream happen. Thankfully, the veil starts to thin around this time of year. You might be able to just let them run amok in the backyard of your Neohome and let them chomp chomp. Just don’t shudder as you hear that pop pop..

     12. Hospital Gown

     Yes, we are serious about this (hopefully) sterile cotton garment. It is quite easily balled up and chomped in one or two bites for a quick and easy meal on the go. With it coming directly from the hospital, you know it will be clean and prepared properly beforehand. If you are worried about choking, fear not, this shreds easily as it’s made of natural materials.

     13. Tree Stump with Wild Flowers and Wreaths

     Because your Skeith is so important to you, and should be celebrated as such, they will squeal in happiness and surprise when you present them with this all-natural, pretty arrangement. They can delicately smell the pleasant aroma wafting from the flowers, the earthy aroma from the weather-worn tree stump. Watch as it dawns on them, slowly, that they can eat the pretty thing. Just sit back and know your Skeith is the happiest one in all of Neopia… currently at that time.