 Unfortunately, 100 More Stupid, Cheesy, Useless, Rejected Neopian Times Titles
by sirussblack
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Also by blubblub317 (though he’s not that important)
We’ve been working here down at the old factory where we churn out your most
prestigious stories to be entered into the Neopian Times. And apparently the
system is faulty...this got through, didn’t it? But, nonetheless, we slaved
over it and came out much less than fruitful but, hey, sometimes people just
have writing lapses. Or in Blubbeh’s case, a brain fart. A permanent brain fart.
Now, to the subject of this article. The Neopian Times comes out every week,
which we’re sure you didn’t know. And each and every week it’s jam-packed with
stories, except if there’s a week where it doesn’t come out. Then it’s a sad
week. But, anyway, as you scroll along the pages and look at the titles of the
articles, sometimes you see a few...not so good ones. But, what if all the titles
you see are horrible? Now, I’m not talking about my cheap attempts or...hm,
I smell hot dogs...anyways, I’m not talking about my titles or Blubbeh’s titles
or even some other persons titles. I’m talking about horrible titles. Like this
one for instance. Long and repetitive. But it serves its point. And it has a
number! A pwetty number!
So, here we go again. Now, we need a disclaimer because we wanna look official
and stuff. How about... Important Legal Contract That Is Totally Binding:
These titles should never be used with the fear of getting rejected by the almighty
Snowflake. Please don’t try this at home, kids! And, we’re off!
001. I Want The Avatar...BAAAADLY
002. See? Look at me gooooo...
003. The Ballerina Grundo
004. The Seris Story
005. Lyk a teecup
006. There’s Something About Blubbeh
007. ...Something BAD About Blubbeh...
008. Horribly Bad...
009. And He Smells
010. Whack-A-Jeran
011. Whack-A-Sirius
012. Lisha Is Duuuumb
013. Wiggle Your Ears and Touch Your Toes
014. Me, Me, Me, and Blubbeh
015. Blubbeh Has a Dilemma
016. Shallow Sirius
017. Stalking the Snowflake
018. Saying Things That Don’t Exist When In Reality They Actually Do Exist
But Only In Your Mind Do They Exist and in the Actual Real Reality They Don’t
Exist. Do They Exist?
019. Random Contest-Who’s Idea Was It? MINE!
020. One Day, I Met Someone Who Was Picking His Nose
021. His Name Started With an S
022. I Hate the Letter S. I Hate The Alphabet.
023. Passing Gas to Your Enemies
024. Clueless or Dumbness? A Little Bit of Both
025. The ‘E’ True Neopia Story
026. I’m A Big Boy Now
027. Sirius Is a Big Girl Now
028. I Love Lice. Do You Love Lice? WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE LICE!
029. I do nut spik in chotspak ONG21321
030. The Seris Story: Imposter
031. Of Lights from Within
032. The Blubbeh Story: I’m Fat and Proud
033. Chugga-chugga Hot Dog!
034. Can You Count to Three?
035. Blubbeh Can’t!
036. I Have a Large Bladder
037. Weewoo...Weewee?
038. Rider is a bucket of doggy doo!
039. XD - The Guide to Smiling
040. M=xx - Math or Jumble?
041. Gerbils Eat My Insides
042. Blubbeh Loves Krispy Kremes
043. Yummy, yummy donut!
044. Snowflake ish the worst editor in the world! (XD Nah, we love ya, Snowy!)
045. Look At My Abnormally Large Glasses. OOOOOH!
046. There’s A Person Who Sits in One Position in Her Chair All Day Long
047. Her Name Starts With an S: Sequel to ‘His Name Starts With an S’
048. The True Weewoo Story: Meep?
049. Wait, I Have an Idea….Nevermind, I Lost It
050. Reading This Is Worst Then Getting A Root Canal: READ THIS PLEASE!
051. Viva la Tyrannia
052. Lesigh. I’m In a Really Lesigh Mood
053. What’s Brown, Thick, and Nutty? A CHOCOLATE BAR! YAY!
054. I Like Snow and the Blaring Sun
055. Something Equals Something Something MC2!
056. Title
057. I Can’t Think Of A Good Title. Wait, Here’s One Right Now!
057. Which Is Eviler? Cheese, Chocolate, or Moehogs?
058. Photo Manipulating the Neocam
059. Birthdays Bashes Are Fun, Birthdays Bashes Are Cool, But Sirius’s Birthday
Bashes Suck!
060. Le Guy met La Girl
061. Chicken Excrements for the Fat Soul
062. Mother Hen Hath Laid an Egg
063. Blubbeh: Another FAT Digestive System
064. Digestives Systems go to Excretory Systems
065. Blubbeh and the Trump
066. You’re So Freakin’ Fired!
067. Ape - The Story of a Confused Blubber Ball
068. Ninety Times Zero is One
069. Sup, Pup?
070. One Billion Three Hundred Million Sixty Nine Thousand One Hundred and
Eighty Bottles of Neocola in My Stomach - Blubbeh’s Tale
071. I Went to the park one day and there was lyk, this gelurt and he had some
yogurt and I ate the gelurt and left the yogurt.
072. Da Wrap Song
073. Tissue, Tissue, Blow Your Nose!
074. I No Know Evil I See U!
075. Sometimes...I Have Bad Indigestion
076. The Seris Story: Ray’tur Goes
077. Honestly, What Kind of Name Ray’tur?
078. No, Better Yet, What Kind Of Name Is Sirius?
079. Agent 008: The Blubmeister
080. Agent 233242344: Some Random Dude
081. Staples Are Fun, Especially On Your Thumb!
082. The Seris Story: Darquae the Lupe
083. The Seris Story: Losing Everything
084. Anything With The Name Seris Is Stupid, Okay?
085. Stupid People Are My Friends: Sirius Is My Friend
086. Creating Your Personal, Decorated Barf Bag!
087. Gasp! The Glittery Ruby Slippers Fit Sirius!
088. 2+2=3: Indulging Yourself in Complicated Math Equations
089. I Am Special, U Are Special, U Are Not Special
090. Oh
091. Ironies of Neopia
092. You Know, Half the Comics Aren’t Even Ironic?
093. Ain’t That Ironic?
094. A Visit from a Villain
095. Who Names Their Pet Fantasia?
096. Who Names Their Pet Blubbeh?
097. *shrug*
098. I’m Zapped...Invisible!
099. Midnight Mystery - Ain’t Much of a Mystery At All
100. See? We Completed "Unfortunately, 100 More Stupid, Cheesy, Useless, Rejected
Neopian Times Titles"! FOR A SECOND TIME! BOOYA!
Okay, so there you have it! Another 100 stupid, useless, cheesy titles that
Sirius would use any day! As you can clearly see, we have way too much time
on our hands, but the trolls of Math are talking in some secret teacher langua-mmm,
a cookie! Anywho, Sirius had to go the bathroom, so I'm taking care of the conclusion.
I won't expect him to be back for another week, so it'll be a nice surprise
for him if this article is published! Hey, why is the junkman here? Hey, junkman,
what are you doing with this article! Aaah, don't you take it to your evil junkyard!
EEE, don't you put it in your paper-smashing-eating-crunching Virtupets machine.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! COME BACK HERE NOW!
The End
Meep.
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