Dungeons and Dimwits

     She charged forward. She could see the entrance up ahead! With the dungeon’s traps hot on her trail, she forced herself to move faster and faster… One massive leap brought her out into the glow of the setting sun.

     The Faerie Xweetok rolled down a steep hill. She tumbled to an eventual stop. She simply lay there for a minute, catching her breath and patting herself on the back for being such a great adventurer. Truly, she was deserving of the title. Especially with her latest find. Who knew that talking Meepit would be telling the truth, that there really was a dungeon out here just ripe for the plundering?

     Niri skittered over to her and chirped. Reena assured her little friend that she was fine. Better than fine, even! Her false tooth gleamed in the brilliant sunset as she grinned. Her wings were getting sore from lying on them, though. As the dungeon collapsed in the distance with a satisfying rumble, she sat up and rummaged through her bag for her prize.

     Niri drew in close as the Xweetok brandished a red drawstring pouch. The pouch had some design or another embroidered in gold, but time had faded its original shape beyond recognition. Truly a relic from Neopian eras long past.

     Reena pulled it open to behold the results of her labor. What would it be, she wondered. Precious gemstones imbued with ancient fae magic? Fangs from a monster whose kind was long gone? Proof of Jelly World’s existence? But when she saw it, her face fell, her pale blue gaze filling with annoyance.

     “Dice? I did all that work for some dice? What a ripoff!”

     * * *

     With Kayixu busier than ever with whatever it was that aliens did, the family had still not finished their new Classic Neohome in the Haunted Woods. A group of people who didn’t get along well being crammed into a small space in Altador was a recipe for chaos, but they were making it work. In fact, there was a dry erase board on the fridge that said “Days without a food fight or paranormal incident” with a whole [i]six[/i] check marks on it!

     Kay had promised them all burritos from Fyora’s secret stash if they could make it a full week. And they wanted those magical, stolen burritos. Of course, what they didn’t know was that Kay had been swiping them from her majesty’s palace for her own selfish cravings, regardless of what the board said at the time… but hey, few foods in the known universe could get spicy enough for her, and she was hungry!

     And who cares about that when an angry magic user is storming into the house?

     Reena kicked the door open so hard that the handle made that hole in the wall even bigger. She slammed it shut and made her way into the living room, grumbling the entire time. Dark magic hummed around her. Fire magic sparked with her every step. The very aura she produced was a warning to all who saw her to stay out of her way.

     Her sisters were well used to it, unfortunately for her. They greeted her with varying degrees of boredom as Reena plopped herself down on the couch. She blew a strand of teal hair from her face. Niri was perched on her shoulder, equally disappointed at the whole affair.

     Reena was dressed in her usual getup: a green undershirt with a dark red jacket, and pants that had seen better days. Her wings, the shape of a Dark Faerie’s, shimmered silver. Her crescent moon staff was now propped up in the corner nearest to the front door, next to some umbrellas.

     Mio, the odd Plushie Cybunny who’d joined the family a while back, could never seem to find any clothes that fit her properly. Leala, on the other paw, could and had opted for an outfit rather unlike what she was used to. Instead of the all-pink theme she’d stuck to for so long, Leala was wearing a long 404 shirt and a formula band. As she wasn’t in her secret lab at the moment, she had no need for her goggles.

     She’d also changed her color to Electric in the spirit of accepting change. It was a pretty big deal to her, as she’d clung to Striped for so long, only to find herself in desperate need of a way to get out of that bionic outfit that had come to life and possessed her… The Magma Pool was what had done it, and that’s the color she’d had for a long time.

     But that was all over and done with, mostly. That era of her life was finished. Currently, she was lying on the floor, sketching out blueprints for a new contraption.

     Kalilu the Tyrannian Kougress was relaxing on a comfy lounge seat, reading quietly to her Ghostkerchief. She’d decided to study archaeology after finally breaking the curse she’d been under. Currently, she was dressed in a Kougra adventurer shirt, some quadruped-made jeans, and a scarf resembling her Petpet.

      There were a few minutes of relative peace…

     Kay threw open the door with Mio at her side, announcing with an overly dramatic flair that she was back. A number of bags hung on her arms, the one of note being very clearly [i]not[/i] of Neopian origin.

     “We hath returned from our outing in the great beyonds. What doth you want for dinner from this most glorious selection of groceries?” she asked. “Methinks some voidberry-”

     “Oh, for the love of- stop talking like that!” snapped Reena.

     “Well, what crawled into your fur and died?” Kay shook her head and said, “The nerve of some people.”

     As Kay went into the kitchen, Mio hopped over to the Xweetok. She reared on her hind legs and tilted her head at Reena. Thimble, her Red Bowla, was nestled comfortably in her mane of faded threads.

     “What?”

     “Did something really crawl into your fur and die?” asked Mio. “If it did, you should clean yourself up really soon. That’s not sanitary and-”

     “Nothing died in my fur,” she growled. “I just got scammed out of some [i]actual[/i] treasure. That’s the last time I take tips from Meepits in back alleys. I did all that work today for a blasted set of Dungeons and Draiks dice!”

     “Ooh, that sounds fun.”

     “Then why don’t you go play with them and leave me alone?”

     That sounded pretty good to Mio, so the Plushie Cybunny dug through Reena’s adventure-worn satchel and found the drawstring pouch. The golden design shone in the light of their home, still ambiguous, but enticing all the same. Its aura seemed to shimmer and reflect in her button-like eyes.

     Reena remained uninterested. The rest, however, got to a stopping point in what they were doing and set it aside to look. Leala put away her sketches and slid the coffee table back to its usual spot.

     Mio pulled open the pouch and poured its contents out on the dark, weathered wood. A satisfying clatter filled the room. Varying shapes of glittering scarlet splayed across the table, with numbers of glowing gold.

     “Those are remarkably well-preserved,” said Kalilu, her striped tail rising and falling at a steady rhythm.

     “Pretty trinkets…” whispered Mio in a dreamy tone.

     “So, uh, does anybody here actually know how to play DnD?” asked Leala.

     Kay walked back into the room with a plate of voidberry pudding and a cappuccino. Her strange eyes lit up. She was in her classic human disguise, wearing a cat-eared hoodie, sweatpants, and some mismatched Snowbunny slippers.

     “Are we having a game night?”

     Reena started to say “no,” but couldn’t finish her response.

     “Yep!” chirped Mio.

     “Looks like it,” said Leala.

     “But none of us are aware of how this game is to be played,” said Kalilu. “We know nothing of the rules, nor do we have any books on-”

     “We’ll figure it out,” said Kay, setting down her food and repeating Mio’s “pretty trinkets” comment.

     “You should play too, Captain Killjoy,” she said to Reena, who rolled her eyes at all this nonsense, but didn’t argue.

     Everyone figured out their dinner arrangements for the evening. Leala found a board game board and set it up. (It was a half-destroyed Neopolife board if you were wondering) Kalilu, who normally shunned these sorts of silly games, decided that these imaginary quests might provide a fun mental challenge. If only Nixie were there with them, thought Kay, but the Hissi was much too busy with her career.

     The family ate and sporadically wandered the house in search of more building blocks for their game. Reena chose a tiny pocket dagger to represent her. Leala’s piece was a bolt that she swore didn’t come from a mad science project. Kalilu’s was an arrowhead, Kay’s was a star-shaped piece of cereal, and Mio used a button.

     “Let’s do this! Many years ago, there was a-”

     “Wait a minute. Kay, have you ever actually played Dungeons and Draiks before?” asked Reena.

     “Nope! So, long ago, there was a-”

     “Perhaps I should be the one to establish our lore,” said Kalilu. “I am the most knowledgeable of Neopia’s history, after all.”

     “Oh yeah, let’s play a game with historical accuracy, that’ll be fun.” Reena rolled her eyes. “Not happening. I’ll-”

     “I could do it,” offered Mio, politely raising her paw.

     Leala shrugged, clearly indifferent.

     Kay plucked the twenty-sided die from the table and held it up. “We’ll take turns. Whoever rolls the highest gets to pick the backstory.”

     “Fair enough,” said the ‘pets, and her strange eyes gleamed playfully.

     “Roll for Initiative!” Kay said as she tossed it onto the table.

     The die rolled. It landed on twenty. The room began to glow.

     To be continued…