ADVANCED NeoQuest!

     Nearly an hour passed, as he unpacked supplies, began to write up demonstration sheets, fiddled with various dice, and tapped his hands and feet. Silence. Was this it? No hope for a glorious new demo? No, true heroes wait! Not minutes later, there was commotion outside of the occupied classroom. Guests? No. OTHER HEROES! The Skeith burst from his seat and bumbled towards the doorway.

     A ragtag group of three is assembled just outside of the doorway. A proud smile beams from underneath the chaotic and matted hair upon the Skeith's face. He proceeds to inhale a huge gulp of air in preparation for a mighty speech.

     “Welcome to a very special game club meeting! Sure, it's normally on Friday, but the club president said we could do demos on other days… So, uhhh, that's why I'm here! Come in, come in!”

     The three casually stroll over, as the door is open and held for them. The Skeith's smile slides into a dopey grin as they file past him. After a moment of soaking in some newly found confidence, he joins them as he shuffles toward the table he’s borrowing.

     The Skeith game master crosses his arms. He clears his throat, while standing up from his seat. His chest puffs out as he poses as if to utter a mighty boast.

     “So, heroes of Neopia, are you ready?”

     Not a moment later, there's the distracting sounds of a panicked running voice from deep in the hall. As the voice reaches the door, it flies open as a spotted Gelert darts in before catching his breath. Everyone else glances up towards the fatigued student, the games master’s expression of triumph quickly fading. As the Gelert huffs in exhaustion, the games master taps fingers on the table, patience trialed by the late newcomer. A wheeze resembling speech leaves the tired jaws of the gelert.

     “Hey, I’m Norbert. *cough* I know I’m like 30 minutes late… start without me, I just need to catch my breath for a second *wheeze*.”

     The skeith raises a finger, preparing another rousing speech, only for another labored breath of the lost club member to interrupt him. A glorious grin upon the game master Skeith’s face flattens to a neutral line as he slowly takes his seat and ushers everyone else to do the same. He then promptly waves a hand around the table, pointing to each seated participant before pointing to himself.

     “Can’t have a proper game without knowing your team… So, please, let’s introduce ourselves. Starting first, call me Stanton Gimble, your humble purveyor of worlds and tales. Aspiring wonder maker, at your service, fair party. Now, before we talk about characters, let’s hear about all of you!”

     Stanton unearths a weary sigh, long waiting to get at least that much out of the way. He looks expectantly upon the others gathered upon the humble but readily available professor’s table. From a multi-colour Kacheek clad in equally colorful garb and violet tinted sunglasses, hand meekly raises up as their expression reads somewhat blank. From the vacant face utters,

     “Hey, I’m… uhh… Chess. So, this place and club thing, it’s like a game day, right? This isn't the normal meeting day, cuz I’m like… uhhh… good friends with the club VP and he ain’t here bruh! Also, that NeoQuest screen. It’s like mad colourful and stuff. Looks great.”

     Stanton, taken back by the vacuous but flashy attendant, leans back briefly as his brows raise up. Trying to recompose, he leans back over his cardboard “NeoQuest official Games Master Screen” to shield his dice. Retaining an unamused look, he takes over.

     “Yes, Chess, welcome to one of the club events. But, this isn’t your ordinary NeoQuest demo…”

     Energy and enthusiasm returns to Stanton’s face, as he quickly snatches up a notebook from behind his screen. He raises his right arm to the sky for just a moment, before catching a whiff of odor from underneath his arm pit. He promptly shoots the arm back down, slamming against his chair. For the briefest window of time, his teeth clenched and his eyes bulged before returning to his smug facade.

     “No, this is ADVANCED NeoQuest. It’s like NeoQuest, but with FAR MORE!”

     He roars triumphantly, like a mighty athlete in an Altador arena.

     “Anyway, we have other players around the table. Please, introductions.”

     A somewhat grizzled grey Techo wearing an assortment of “punky” vintage threads slowly straightens his posture before leaning a little closer towards the table. A scowl ridden face drops a shadow upon the dice and miniatures before, which he examines before looking at Stanton.

     “Yeah, I’m Chet. I used to be a big deal at this university some time back. But, whatever. I’m back for some classes at night. And uhh, yeah, I played an old edition of this game at some point. So, why not, right?”

     A contested sense of pretense and smug takes Stanton back for a moment, as if a challenger dared to face him. He briefly turns his head, allowing the closer eye to study the Grey and dried up hipster before him. Ugh, so 2015. Returning back to form, Stanton folds his fingers together and returns a pleasant smile.

     “It’s an honour to have a veteran on board.”

     The sneer on Chet’s face fades a bit, curling into a smug grin.

     “Veteran,” mumbles Chet under his breath… “Heh, that’s a first from the local newbs… At least they aren’t like the mallcore kids…”

     Stanton proceeds to immediately glance towards anyone else at the table, to save face and keep a sense of control. His eyes lock on a Koi who is busy taking notes in a journal. She takes no notice as other eyes join the GM in staring. Glancing up, the Koi jumps back startled, nearly flopping out of her seat.

     “GAH! Oh, sorry. I just like making sure I get everything down on paper. I’m something of a writer, ya know? While you were talking about NeoQuest, I started to muse on all sorts of characters and backstories. It’s great to see those story elements intersect and interact with the table, you know? I have plenty of fan fiction pieces to pull from too, I think that they could greatly enhance your game-”

     Stanton stares in befuddlement, his brows lowered in sagging defeat and his jaws drooping in mild visual dismay.

     “That sounds more like you’re writing a novel to me…”

     The Koi becomes even further attentive, as if in defense.

     “Oh, not at all! By the way, I’m Jane! I’m also in the Mathematics club, so I’ll have no problem with rules. I do love to write though. In fact, I made actions and ideas for my character based on thousands of probabilities! That way, I’m not just writing a novel! In fact, let me take this from my backpack.”

     Jane lurches down and picks up a hefty tome, gently placing it upon the table so as to not put too much strain. The massive journal that is more tall book spine than cover, with the title of “probable character actions.”

     The expressive shock worn upon Stanton’s face begins to twist into horror, as his expression becomes more blatant.

     “Nevermind, I meant coding a video game. You can’t account for every possibility. That’s just… impossible! That’s also what makes tabletop superior in my humble opinion. That adds a real-time sense of live Neopian thought and action.”

     Jane’s posture sags a bit, taken aback by the retort. She struggles to move the weighted book back into her bag before crossing her arms and staring at the GM screen expectantly. Colour returns to the GM’s face as the hulking book of possibility leaves his sight. As if life force returns as well, he snaps back into proper consciousness after fidgeting with some nice and the notebooks from behind his game master screen.

     “Right then. So, we have a basic idea of each other and maybe some gaming personalities.”

     Reaching into a folder, Stanton removes a number of laminated sheets each detailing different characters.

     “Please, familiarize yourselves with these pre-generated characters. This will give an idea of how Advanced NeoQuest differs from the original as well!”

     Getting up from the table, Stanton’s chair gives a squeak that sounds just as frustrated as him. As the character sheets are doled out, each recipient eyes over it with looks of bewilderment. Upon sitting down, Stanton crosses his legs, places his hands over his notebook, and gazes upon everyone with a rejuvenated sense of vigor and passion.

     “So, LET’S BEGIN THEN!”

     Inhale. Exhale. Deep breathing gives Stanton a moment of resolve and focus, as he closes his eyes for just a moment. Upon opening, he envisions a world of the mythic past… one where untamed fields surround sprawling castle cities and great heroes sought out mighty quests to prove their worth.

     With a backwards stretch, a loud *CRAAACK* rings from Stanton’s back. Clearly a sign he should get out more.

     “*oof* my back… *ahem* CHAMPIONS OF NEOPIA! The call has been sent out for you! Within the village of Trestin, your journey begins here!”

     A hand shoots up, raised by an ever eager Norbert. Not feeling deterred, Stanton maintains a stoic expression and puffed out posture.

     “Sir Rohane… *ahem, Nobert, I’m addressing you*… SURELY YOU HAVE A MIGHTY PROPOSAL FOR YOUR PARTY!”

     As Stanton bellows this out dramatically, he lifts his arms for a moment as if while singing in jubilation. He once again notices that his underarms are not fully clean, quickly lowering them back to his side.

     In response, Norbert shyly looks toward the GM inquisitively. He merely extends a finger while bending an eyebrow.

     “I can tell you so much about Trestin, the origin of the great Rohane… Who I’m playing as! This is so cool! Would you like to hear more? I know you’re the GM and all, but I’m so excited! THIS IS MY DREAM! YOU’VE GIVEN ME MY DREAM!”

     Tears stream down Norbert’s face as he gazes to the sky, as if singing in divine jubilation as well.

     Glancing around, Stanton fidgets at the awkward adoration on display. Sucking in his lips for a moment, he mulls over a response.

     “I’m glad. That’s great… Anyway, all four of you have been called back to this fair village. Following prior feats of heroic, this small village began to flourish under an age of peace and harmony. This prosperity gave way for new opportunities, such as building the tavern that you’ve been called by the sheriff of the land.”

     Chet crosses his arms and rolls his eyes, attempting to lift his left leg over his right before lightly thudding it against part of the table.

     “A tavern? A sheriff? As long as the monster isn’t in the well, right?”

     Embarrassment begins to wash over the GM’s face, as a somewhat reddish tone begins to show. The others, they were annoying, sure. But, were they this rude? Not so, at least according to Stanton. He breathes in, breathes out, and lets it go… for now.

     “Unless anyone has any objections, I presume you all take up this summons and meet the legal authority within the Dyed Tabard Inn… Okay, good. As you all march your way through the village, locals shower you with praise upon your seemingly prophetic return. ‘Hail the Heroes’ many chants ring. With times returning to peril, such a presence is truly sacred.”

     As Norbert continues to flail around like an excitable tourist, a loud SNOOOORRRREEEE blasts next to him. It’s Chess, whose aloof nature and “blissed out” personality led him to falling asleep in his chair. Jane once again leaps back from her chair, taken back by the loud snore. Chet tries to contain a slight chuckle out of respect. Sweat rolls down Stanton’s forehead, as he clenches his fists and grits his teeth for a moment before releasing pressure from both.

     “No matter,” continues Stanton, “as you greet and assure the common folk, all of you make your way to the Dyed Tabard. Such a recent establishment is a sight for the eyes, regal yet simple in its design. From within, an ornately dressed Xweetok with a large mustache approaches all of you. It is safe to assume you have found your sheriff. Should you wish to interact, please consult the socialization charts and examine the friendliness matrix.”

     Upon hearing that last part, Chet’s attempts to hide his laughter somewhat give way before cutting it off and trying to recompose himself. Stanton glances with visible upset on his face.

     “Oh… oh… I’m sorry. You just abruptly slid from this colourful narrative to very plain and mechanical forms of speech. No real segue, no opportunity to hail the party for what they wanted to do first. I’ll stop now, I promise. I critique in order to help.”

     As Chet begins to lie back, Chess begins to snap back into focus and glances around at everyone wearily. He looks down upon his character sheet and then looks upon the diorama of the village laid out before him. With one hand, he taps upon his face while glancing upwards. Gears seem to be moving in his head.

     “Whoa… Did I miss the whole game? Are we like at a celebration? What did we defeat? Like an Undead Lord Kass or something? That sounds pretty cool.”

     Chess begins to look around with a pleasant if lost grin upon his face. Jane plants a hand palm upon her face and she shakes her head in contempt and Norbert is still gleefully trying to immerse himself too intently. All the while, Chet sits back smugly once more.

     “Did he just say undead Kass?” quips Chet under his breath, “there’s no way the GM would do something like that… I hope.”

     Stanton twists one of his feet while trying to keep his brows from curling in anger.

     “‘No,’ exclaims the sheriff, ‘I have heard no rumors of the nefarious Lord Kass returning from the grave.’ The sheriff turns to you all expectantly, awaiting further questions. Please, if you will, make your rolls with your statements. I’m treating Velm’s as a failure.”

     Chess’s cheerful mood diminishes quickly.

     “Awww no, I failed that quickly! That’s such a bummer. Aww man.”

     Jane frowns alongside him, before facing Stanton.

     “Ya know, within the realm of mathematics, it’s only fair to give him a shot. Even with penalties based on the absurdity of his statement, there is reason that the sheriff could humor him and tell him actual information. I wrote all of this sort of thing down, after all. I can bring back the book.”

     “No, no, no,” Stanton whispers to himself, no longer containing his disappointment in the players. “Fine. Fine. Roll for it. Just please, consult the charts. If you need a hand, it looks like Jane and Chet have the idea.”

     Chess grabs a few dice, cups them in his hands, rolls them about and releases them on the table. They clack about before landing on their numbers.

     “Okay, this 10 side says 10, this 8 side says 7, and this 6 side says 4. That looks good.”

     Energy comes back to Stanton, things are finally working out it seems. Maybe this game can be saved. Looking over the dice and picturing what he wrote for Velm’s character sheet, Stanton visualizes the numbers needed. Jane peers over the sheet as well, meticulously studying every facet of what makes Velm… Velm within the confines of Advanced NeoQuest. Chet simply kicks back as Norbert looks over his Rohane sheet to see what cool things he can do.

     “The sheriff recognizes your joke as an attempt to alleviate a tense situation. ‘A much needed jest friend, but we have new troubling foes. A thing from beyond the skies and stars has emerged from a crashed rock some days back, wreaking havoc upon fields and locals alike.’ The sheriff gestures out a window and past some rolling hills. Guards sent to investigate have gone silent, never to return. But, for seasoned heroes as yourselves, all of you are surely up to the task.”

     Norbert begins to bounce around, eager to fulfill the role of his beloved hero Rohane. All the while, Chess marvels over his unlikely success, Jane reads more notes, and Chet proceeds to reread his character sheet for Tilania over and over. As the game descends into an awkward silence, with none to take the charge, Norbert happily cuts through the emptiness.

     “WE HAPPILY EXCEPT! It is our job AS HEROES to triumphantly clash against the darkness, to destroy any evil that stands against us, to save any innocents in need, to…”

     Norbert does not cease to ramble, driving any giddiness from Stanton back into frustration in the 5 minutes it takes for the Gelert’s monologue to conclude.

     “And with that, we accept!” Norbert finally concludes.

     Chess has fallen back asleep, Chet sneers with a returned level of ironic detachment, and Jane seems more engaged in rummaging through her absurd lengths of notes and fan fiction. From behind his screen, Stanton inhales loudly.

     “Excellent! Uhh… no roll needed, you succeed from that long speech. *please never do that again … ahem* The sheriff exclaims, ‘Great, there’s no time to waste. This star beast is not invincible, as an heirloom belonging to a traveling merchant managed to hurt it. Said item was a bolt once used for a royal ballista. If you recover it, then you may have the secrets to the foul beast’s weakness!’ Once again, a success. You have obtained enough successes for adventure!”

     Jane looks up at that last bit.

     “So, wait, how many modifiers were added from that speech? Did keywords apply to this matrix,” she points to one of the charts placed on the table “or this formula?” She takes out another chart and holds it up.

     Stanton, flustered by all of this, grasps one of his notebooks from behind the screen.

     “You are correct. Let’s please move on.”

     Chet breaks his collective, cool, and uninvolved demeanor as he sits up, looking irritated by this display.

     “Hey now,” he interjects, “are you just trying to speed things up by railroading us? The rest of us might be noobs, but giving us a chance to breathe and explore is just natural. This isn’t like one of those old modules, you wrote this… unless you wrote it like those single track modules?”

     Norbert looks at Chet in shock.

     “Railroad? We’re heroes and doing what heroes do. This is great, don’t you see? We’re the legendary 4!”

     Jane then interjects, after nodding in response to Chet’s statement.

     “Hmm, this rings true. If this advanced version really wanted to show how roleplay interacts with elaborate mechanics, he wouldn’t rush success or failure. Great point.”

     Chess, looking puzzled by the rising commotions, faces Stanton from his side of the table.

     “Hey, man, I’ve lost the plot here and I don’t get what the rest are rambling about. Do you have more soda?”

     Rage visibly spills over from Stanton’s face. Grabbing at a pencil, he applies pressure until it snaps. Everyone else gasps as he explodes.

     “That’s it! I just wanted a demo. One that gave an idea on how things work. It’s one thing to question, another to nitpick, another to go on sidetracks. But then there’s this! First off, we have a player who wants this to be a theme park ride so he can shout ‘ooooh’ and ‘ahhhh’ at everything I say. And then we have this suave and sarcastic hipster dad who’s on the verge of a midlife crisis. And then the walking RNG wants to predetermine everything through a notebook bigger than her head. And you, lastly you, anything deeper than a big bowl of chips is too much for your attention span! Why am I here? Why am I doing this?”

     Stanton jolts up, knocking against the table and causing the miniatures in the village to flop over. His ill-fitting hat likewise flies off his head and flies onto the floor.

     Seeing the meltdown, the rest at the table freeze for a moment in their chairs… awaiting someone else to make the first response. Chet sighs, shrugs, and gets up ready to leave before Norbert stops him by placing a paw towards his sheet. Norbert then gets up.

     “You’re here to show us what you love, this game. And likewise, I’m following through to show you that I appreciate it.”

     As Stanton stomps a foot down, the statement then starts dawning on him.

     Jane gets up too, without stumbling from her chair.

     “I love seeing all sorts of equations in action. And from what I understand from your notes so far, you add something that the regular game sorely lacks.”

     Stanton’s rigid posture eases a tad as he picks up his roughed up hat and places it upon his head.

     Chet shrugs again, placing some of his stuff back down.

     “Yeah, I’m not trying to mock you. Running stuff kinda blows sometimes and you’ve shown you can do things on the fly. Ain’t an easy skill. It’s just practice. And what’s a demo besides practice to show off how things work?”

     Stanton tilts his head for a moment.

     “Huh. Yeah.”

     Chess cracks his neck, stands up straight with an elegant poise and faces forward as if to present a grand thesis.

     “You are a fine young gentleman, Stanton. I’m honoured to be part of your table. Your passion is clear and your vision is inspired. Your Advanced rule set has potential to be an incredible expansion to a game with a longstanding legacy. Shall we continue this wondrous playtest and help bring such ideas to the wider world, fair compatriots?”

     Amidst relaxing from his anger, Chess’s sudden shift in personality puzzles Stanton.

     “Wait, Chess, what was that?”

     Chess, upon sitting down, scratches his head.

     “Hey, man, sometimes I just gotta get things off my chest…”

     Chess then promptly lets out a loud belch.

     “Oh, excuse me. It’s the soda.”

     Stanton, having reached a sense of calm, grabs his chair.

     “Okay, let’s do some Advanced NeoQuest.”

     The End.