A Survival Guide to the Annual Chocolate Ball

     Before you put on your fanciest outfit and head for the ballroom, there are a few things you should know. The Chocolate Ball is not an ordinary party. It’s a magical wonderland where chocolate fountains run dry, desserts are as wobbly as a Melted Candy Pteri and one careless move could turn your graceful evening into a delightful gooey mess. Luckily, I've survived enough Chocolate Balls to spill some vital secrets.

     1. First things first, you must have your invitation

     -No, not at home, it must be with you. Just because you have pretty eyes won't help. Speaking from experience. You might think that standing outside the entrance looking innocent will convince someone to let you in. It will not. Neither will explaining that you definitely had an invitation five minutes ago, you just have absolutely no idea where it went. Check your pockets, your bag and under your hat. If necessary, check the pockets of your friends. Just make sure you actually have the invitation before you leave home.

     -Whatever you do, do not eat the invitation. Yes, it may look suspiciously like a very thin piece of chocolate. You may be hungry already. This is not the time to start experimenting. Have some patience.

     -If your invitation starts smelling like cocoa, resist the temptation. It’s not a new flavor, it’s still your ticket.

     2. Don’t forget about dress code

     -While I would love to wear sweatpants and a hoodie like on a relaxing day on the sofa, this is a BALL. You never know who you might meet, and you definitely don't want to be the only Neopet who misunderstood the assignment.

     -Of course, there is also the opposite problem. A chocolate outfit at a Chocolate Ball where there are hundreds of hungry guests? A terrible survival strategy. You may arrive looking elegant, mysterious and delicious, only to discover that three hungry Skeiths have been following you for the last twenty minutes. If your outfit is edible, you're not dressed for the occasion. You're dressed as a snack. Choose wisely.

     -Comfortable shoes are also important. After several hours of walking around, dancing, standing, eating and trying to avoid stepping in melted chocolate, your feet may have other opinions. There is nothing glamorous about spending the rest of the evening walking around like a Pteri with a broken wing. If you think you can just sit down and ignore the pain, remember that the chocolate buffet is still waiting for you.

     3. Choose your dramatic entrance wisely

     -Arriving by carriage? Classy. Arriving by magical portal? Impressive. Arriving by being launched from a Chocolate Factory cannon? Probably memorable and NOT RECOMMENDED. Remember that dramatic entrances can go wrong very quickly. A magical portal could drop you upside down, your carriage could lose a wheel and the Chocolate Factory cannon... Well, let's just say I wouldn't recommend it.

     -Personally, I'd just walk through the door. It's less exciting, but at least there's a great chance you'll arrive in one piece. Your dignity is also particularly important, when there are photographers around.

     4. Not everything that looks like chocolate is chocolate

     -This sounds obvious. It is not. At the Chocolate Ball, almost everything looks edible: chocolate decorations, chocolate sculptures. Learning the difference by licking them is not the wisest choice.

     -A good rule is: if you cannot tell whether something is dessert, decoration or an important member of the catering staff, don't eat it.

     -Also, not everything brown is chocolate. Sometimes it's furniture or a shoe… Please use your eyes before your teeth.

     5. The chocolate fountain is NOT:

     -A swimming pool;

     -A place to wash your paws;

     -A wishing well

     The chocolate fountain is there for dipping food into chocolate, not for dipping yourself into chocolate. For the love of chocolate, stick to your plate.

     6. Beware of chocolate pets

     -They look adorable, they look yummy, but please DO NOT take a bite! They are pets, not truffles.

     -If a "chocolate" suddenly gets up and walks away, that's a good indication that you should stop reaching for it. This becomes important after you have visited the buffet several times. At some point, your brain may start believing that anything brown is dessert.

     7. Take advantage of the chocolate buffet

     -Some say the world may run out of chocolate one day, some say this is just an excuse to eat your fifth dessert. We prefer not to take chances.

     -Try something new! There will definitely be cakes, biscuits, truffles, puddings, chocolate-covered fruit and at least one dessert that looks like it required an architect.

     -You don't need to eat everything in the first ten minutes. There is plenty of time, probably…

     -Always leave room for dessert. Yes, I know that everything at the Chocolate Ball is basically dessert, but somehow there is always another dessert. You think you're finished. Then someone walks past carrying a giant chocolate cake. What are you supposed to do? Ignore it? Be reasonable? Absolutely not.

     8. Be prepared for photographers

     -One wrong move and a pic of you upside down in the chocolate fountain might end up on the Neopian Times.

     -Think carefully before doing anything embarrassing. Photographers don't only take pictures when you're posing. They also take pictures when you're eating, dancing, laughing, tripping or trying to sneak your sixth dessert onto your plate.

     9. The after-party matters

     -Or not. Who in their 30’s still has energy for that? Unless you're a Chocolate Chia, 90% made from sugar and 10% made from questionable life choices.

     But if you do decide to go to the after-party, here are a few things to keep in mind:

     -Don't assume there will be less chocolate. You can surely expect to have more than before. At this point, you should just accept that chocolate is following you.

     -Stay hydrated. Yes, I know water isn't nearly as exciting as chocolate, but after several hours of dancing and eating, your body may start wondering why you've given it nothing but sugar.

     -Don't challenge a Chia to a dance-off. They have been eating sugar for hours and are basically unstoppable.

     -And if you suddenly realise that you are too tired to continue, it is perfectly acceptable to go home. There is no shame in admitting defeat.

     10. Make friends

     -And maybe share dessert? Even the fanciest party is better with a partner in crime.

     -Make friends with someone who will tell you when there is chocolate on your face.

     -If you find someone who is willing to share the last piece of chocolate cake with you, keep them. That's a true friend.

     -At the end of the day, what's the point of surviving the Chocolate Ball if you don't have someone to laugh about it with afterwards?

     And that concludes your survival training. Put on your best outfit, grab your invitation and prepare yourself for an evening of sticky adventures! Although, if you wake up the next morning covered in chocolate and wearing someone else’s shoes, I never gave you this guide.