Top 5 Best and Worst Lands for Chocolate Neopets

     So what are the best conditions for Chocolate Neopets?

      Number 1: cool temperatures, notice that doesn’t mean freezing temperatures. Hot temperatures? Surface melting and dandruff-esque “fat bloom.” Too cold? Brittle cream and unsightly chalky “sugar blooms” either way it’s more grooming and mess for the both of you.

     Number 2: Low humidity, high humidity can also lead to sugar bloom as moisture evaporates but it also invites mold and other disease causing organisms. No wonder your Chocolate Neopet is always getting Floppy Tongue and Neomonia!

     Number 3: Dim lighting, Too much direct light can lead to “photo-oxidation” which affects a chocolate's natural texture and flavor. Much like some Woodland Neopets and Chias, Chocolate Neopets prefer indirect light!

     Based on these three conditions, the suitability of the culture, and interviews with Chocolate coloured Neopets living in the regions, we have developed a list of the top 5 best and worst lands for Chocolate Neopets to live. Enjoy!

     5th worst land for Chocolate Neopets: Terror Mountain

          This comes as a surprise for many Neopians new to Chocolate Neopet care but Terror Mountain is not ideal for Chocolate Neopets. The festive atmosphere and holiday spirit certainly bring sweet treats and Chocolate to mind but notice that Chocolate mostly comes in the form of hot cocoa. Terror Mountain is much too cold for the average Chocolate Neopet without considerable accommodations. “You see this whipped cream?” an anonymous local Chocolate Moehog exclaimed, “It’s more like ice cream now. And not even the type people like! It’s like, the sad type that got freezer burned and chunky. And when it defrosts? It goes flat. What am I supposed to do with flat cream? I can’t work like this!”

     5th best land for Chocolate pets: Brightvale

      Brightvale is famous for its orchards and Chocolate Neopets can enjoy customizing themselves with the sweet and juicy yields. The climate also roughly stays at appropriate temperatures throughout the year though winters can be tough and extra hot days can occur especially in summer. Local Chocolate Neopets also recommend sunhats. “My favourite winter activity is visiting some of Brightvale's best libraries and finding a nice corner to read.” says Chocolate lupe Hugh, “And those famous stained glass windows? They let in light… but not too much light y’know? Perfect for a sweet hound like me!”

     4th worst land for Chocolate pets: Tyrannia

      Tyrannia is both very warm and very humid, perfect vectors for ill-health in Chocolate Neopets but among these generic complaints there was also the surprising issue of the Giant Omelette. “Chocolate Neopets pick up the ‘taste’ of foods around them y’see,” confided Chocolate Chomby Ogg-hug. “And those omelettes get everywhere it’s bad enough when they’re the only thing your owner cares to feed ya but when it’s right next door? I need so many candles and scents to prevent my aroma from picking up all those onions and bell peppers!”

     4th best land for Chocolate pets: Haunted Woods

      You’re probably feeling a sense of disbelief right now, Haunted woods? Home of the Brain Tree, Esophagor, and Zombie Neopets? A good home for Chocolate Neopets? Really? Actually yes! Like Terror Mountain the culture enjoys sweet treats about as much as they like spooky foods. But unlike Terror Mountain they have a median temperature that is actually suitable for our Chocolate friends. Shady woods and generally overcast weather lead to a very ideal climate for Chocolate Neopets. Although the abundance of bugs and occasional humidity issues prevent the land from reaching the heights of its potential. “Some witches like to make their abodes out of candy y’know? And the Carnival likes employing Chocolate Neopets as well so work is always pretty abundant.” Cynthia the Chocolate Korbat nodded enthusiastically while singing her praises of her homeland. “What about the haunts and such? Well any native knows how to reduce the dangers best they can. Garlic for the vampires, silver for the werewolves and whatnot. It’s not as much of an issue as outsiders claim. Besides, if you're counting national incidents I think Faerieland is the most prone to upheaval.” A salient point from Cynthia indeed.

     3rd worst land for Chocolate Neopets: Lost Desert

      Scorching hot, bright, and direct sunlight during the day is bad enough but at night times the temperatures also get surprisingly cold leading to a temperature whiplash for any poor Chocolate Neopet forced to reside here. But the worst part? The sand. “You see it’s rough, coarse, irritating, and it gets everywhere.” Chocolate Grundo Ninniken whined. “It’s at its worst when sand gets into my ears. When I try to brush it off I need to be careful that I don’t accidentally scrape the waffle cone too hard. It’s miserable here.”

     3rd best land for Chocolate Neopets: Darigan Citidell

           Much like the Haunted Woods this probably wasn’t the first place you imagined when thinking of a place Chocolate Neopets could thrive but it shares a lot of the same benefits. Magically overcast skies keep things cool and dim, winds that drive away the humidity, what more could a Chocolate Neopet ask for? “It’s easy to feel out of place.” Explains Chocolate Cybunny Kelly, “There’s a culture of being tough and great national pride of being ‘Darigan’ and being Chocolate can make it hard to be treated seriously… I hold my own though, and once you earn the respect of the Darigan people… well you couldn’t ask for more loyal friends.” Kelly finished her anecdote with a wry smile and a great deal of “hear, hears!” from the other clients in the inn we were meeting in.

     2nd worst land for Chocolate Neopets: Moltara

           Take everything bad about the Lost Desert and dial it up to about one million. Surrounded by lava, full of ash, soot, and sulphur. Chocolate Grarrl Ricardo stated that his existence was so miserable that he was actually waiting for the magma guard to fall asleep so he could change his colour to Magma as soon as possible. “I love engineering and that love trumps my love of being sweet. I just can’t take it anymore, leaving puddles everywhere I go, my decorative drizzles turning into a mushy mess, my aroma will never shed the sulphur anyway, enough is… WAIT! Shhhh, is he???” Unfortunately for Ricardo the guard was merely yawning out of boredom. “Gosh dang it, I’ll catch him drowsing one of these days just you wait.” We hope so Ricardo, we hope so.

      2nd best land for Chocolate Neopets: Neopia Central

      Neopia Central stays fairly warm and is usually experiencing sunny bright weather so you might be surprised we placed it so high on the list. However two things give Neopia Central the edge, the prevalence of climate control technology such as air conditioning and the highly inclusive culture and community Chocolate pets receive here thanks to the presence of the Chocolate Factory. There’s a reason why the annual Chocolate Ball is held specifically in Neopia Central! “I’m glad that ‘Mysterious Yellow Kiko’ decided to make Neopia Central his home.” The aptly named Cocoa the Chocolate Xweetok remarked, It’s easier here to get the care supplies I need than anywhere else I’ve traveled and I find I don’t need to explain about things like my parasol and fan. People here just understand because they know and love us here and I hope when you finalize your list it makes the top spot.” We almost did Cocoa, but one place ended up outshining the top spot… where could it be? But first the place you should never keep Chocolate Neopets…

     Worst land for Chocolate Neopets: Maraqua

      … Oh you needed reasons? Buddy, it’s completely underwater? And it’s salt water? You try submerging your treat in salt water and see what condition it’s in after a day! It gets shockingly cold too! And there’s practically no infrastructure for air-breathing residents outside of magic! An interview?! Hon we got exactly one word from what we think was a Chocolate Skeith, the diving suit made it hard to tell… “Don’t.” and we concur, don’t force your Chocolate Neopets to live in Maraqua!

     Best Lands for Chocolate Neopets: Kreludor/Virtupets Space Station

      Some might say it’s cheating to have two lands tie for best but frankly they are both the best for the exact same reasons and there's nothing that makes one better or worse than the other. They are both environments where the need to keep out the vacuum of space leads to perfect climate control available to all residents all the time. The Chocolate Neopets living here were generally the most healthy, glossy, and sweetest smelling specimens we have hitherto encountered. Nana the Chocolate Aisha of Kreludor exclaimed, “I love living here! I have been able to live my life without worrying about the weather and it’s so freeing! I have a vacation home in Virtupets and I feel largely the same when I’m residing there. You tell them in the Neopian Times, space is best for Chocolate pets!”

     And that concludes our article, we hope that this was illuminating about the potential struggles your Chocolate Neopet faces and if you were considering moving the ol’ Neohome feel free to use this article as a resource! Enjoy the Chocolate Ball everyone!