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Things You Should Never Say to a Mutant Pet


by crwarrior7

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So your pet is Mutant now,
And you don't know what to expect?
There are lots of things that you can enjoy,
But let me warn you what not to do.

You see, a Mutant pet is certainly fun,
And they act like most pets you've had before,
But conversations can be tricky-some,
So let me tell you what to watch out for.

Don't ask them why their teeth are sharp,
Or why they only growl instead of talk.
Don't ask how many eyes they've got
They've counted them, and you should not.

Don't ask if that tentacle is new,
Don't ask what that other one can do.
Don't ask if they're radioactive
That's rude, and also quite presumptive.

Don't stare at them and say, “Oh my!”
Don't ask if they're about to cry.
And never say, “Are you contagious?”
Unless you'd like your lunch thrown at you.

So if you're destined for a Mutant friend,
Don't judge them by the way they bend.
They may have claws or tails or three
But underneath, they're just like thee.

So offer them a seat and smile,
And maybe play with them awhile.
Just mind your manners, don't forget
And never ask how many eyes they've got yet.

 
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