| There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots |
Circulation: 193,626,794 |
Issue: 703 | 16th day of Collecting, Y17 |
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Headlines "You Had One Job" by quanticdreams Jhudora? Jhudora, I am here. I am speaking directly into your left ear, and you do not notice. I should tell you these things in a perceivable form, but I imagine you would be very upset to find I have been living in your house. I remain in the shadows. That’s the name the flesh have given me. The Shadow Usul, they whisper. They are wrong, but I do not object. But this isn’t about me. This is about you.
Listen, Jhudora, do you really want to live your life like this? Stumbling through a hazy stupor and over hoards and hoards of useless junk? Sometimes, as I lurk in the back of your closet, your tacky, fake fingernails almost brush my fur as you reach for one of those identical gowns on your way to return to a dead-end life.
Do you know how many bugs live in your house, Jhudora? I do. I gave every one a name, and I tell them where to lay their eggs. So do not get on my bad side, because my fury is vast and dark and expressed in a smashed dresser in your pile of junk in the woods! You’ll never find it, though. You never go back there, not all the way.
I can’t find a pattern to anything in that stupid pile. Overturned smoothies, moth-eaten plushies. It’s a mess back here. Some places I can’t even go in because of the stench. I don’t even have a nose. How did you do that? You had one job! You somehow managed to screw it up!
Other Stories
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700 Weewoos "Maybe letting out 700 Weewoos wasn't such a good idea." I said, trying to make it sound like it was no big deal.
by sparkleeze |
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You Had One Job But what’s with the herbs? You literally eat out every night; the most I’ve seen you cook is toast, and it’s never even very good toast, and yet now you’re buying exotic herbs and- are you chopping those herbs, Jhudora? You have multiple greasy Shenkuuvian takeout boxes from that place with the peeling pink paint and yet here you are cooking. That doesn’t seem like you, Jhudora.
by quanticdreams |
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The Problems of Protesting Weewoos There’s discontent brewing within the generally peaceful Weewoo community. The Coalition for Embitterment, a Weewoo-run group based in Krawk Island, organized public protests after filing a petition against the Neopian Times early last week.Also by sasaki_kyomi
by agentm005 |
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Adventures Aren't Just in Books: Part Four It was the 18th day of Storing just last year. Our species had been “discovered” a few days earlier. Of course, we have been on Neopia as long as you have we just preferred the mountains where we could be away from other species and have a pure Vandagyre society.
by kitstar1 |
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The Sisterhood of Terra and Phee: Part Fve After I say goodbye to Lana, who has been talking with a prospective owner the past few days -- a scholar, I believe -- I write a neomail to Tricia and update her. She was adopted two months ago by a similarly shy and incredibly sweet girl with two other pets who Tricia seemed to love immediately. Then I say goodbye to Bert, who has become a more or less a friendly presence to me since I stood up to him shortly after Terra left. Then it was time to say goodbye to everything else.
by lizzy_beth_750551 |
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