Neopia’s Runway: Grumpy King Garb

     NARRATOR: Welcome to another edition of Neopia’s Runway! For those of you joining us for the first time, welcome to the only fashion-forward show on Neovision! I am your host, Ellsworth.

     Red curtains appear on screen and rise to reveal ELLSWORTH, alone on a stage with a microphone.

     ELLSWORTH: A quick rundown for our viewers – each week we have a special guest of honour from across Neopia, for whom three hand-picked contestants are tasked with making two outfits for. The contestants are not given any information ahead of time about who that guest may be, putting their fashion skills to the ultimate test!

     ELLSWORTH: This week our special guest is none other than King Skarl! Freshly de-greyed and ready to rock, the King is looking forward to adding colour and pizazz back into Meridell.

     ELLSWORTH pauses for a dramatic flair, as the off-screen studio audience erupts into loud, frantic cheers. King Skarl shuffles onto the stage slowly, his heavy steps echoing through the soundstage. He barely acknowledges the audience, uttering a throaty "harrumph" in their general direction.

     ELLSWORTH: Today’s contestants will be Kalandra, Clop, and Ascor! Now folks, why don’t you tell the audience a little bit about yourselves?

     The camera pans over to the Styling Studio where KALANDRA, CLOP, and ASCOR are positioned behind workstations. It zooms in on each one as they introduce themselves.

     KALANDRA: Well hello. I'm Kalandra, one of Neopia's top poker players. I bring my fashion to the game and the game to my fashion. My specialties? Smizing and proportionizing.

     CLOP stomps with his front right hoof three times, then back left hoof twice. Everyone but ELLSWORTH nods their heads in polite agreement, as if understanding his crude form of communication. ELLSWORTH appears quite confused.

     ASCOR: I know I need no introduction being an extremely famous actor, but my name is Ascor and I am happy to be here to delight you all with my presence.

     The camera pans back to ELLSWORTH and SKARL, who have now joined the contestants in the studio.

     ELLSWORTH: Excellent! Today’s categories will be banquet wear and sleepwear. King Skarl is famous for his banquets, even going so far as to generously hand out leftovers to passersby. It's only befitting that we return the generosity, and assist him in debuting a new look every now and again. And as for sleepwear, well, we stan a comfy king.

     ELLSWORTH: We will begin our competition with banquet wear.

     ELLSWORTH: So, King — any advice?

     SKARL: I guess as King I need to be noticed, but I also need to be respected. This is a banquet, a fancy dinner, so nothing that stains too easily.

     ELLSWORTH: Good point, while we may stan sleep, we don't stan stains! Now then Skarl, we'll ask you to exit the studio for this next part, and we'll see you back for the judging!

     SKARL stares, unamused by Ellsworth's attempts at comedic relief. He then turns on his heel and exits the studio, again ignoring the audience..

     ELLSWORTH: As a reminder, the winner of today’s competition will have their outfit worn by King Skarl for the Discovery of Meridell Day Banquet. They will also receive the coveted opportunity to be featured in the up-and-coming Neopia Fashion Trends Magazine.

     ELLSWORTH: Well, if we’re ever going to crown a winner, we best get to it!

     ELLSWORTH: But first, a quick word from today’s sponsor: Snargen Steamer!

     A little jingle begins to play.

     “Call 1-800-STEAMER

     “Snargen Steamer gets your Neohome cleaner!"

     The jingle fades out and the contestants reappear on screen, exchanging nervous glances as the background music resumes and builds to a crescendo.

     ELLSWORTH: You have one hour. On your mark, get set, GO!

     The show’s finalists, KALANDRA, CLOP, and ASCOR, scatter. They begin frantically running around, flipping through lookbooks and magazines, parsing through closets, and tossing aside fabric scraps and mannequins in a blind panic. Piles of clothes begin forming all around the studio, forming a vibrant and decidedly stain-resistant explosion of fashion.

     ELLSWORTH: Wow, these contestants sure seem busy! There is a lot going on here in the Styling Studio.

     ELLSWORTH: So, Kalandra. Tell me what is your goal here? What is your dream for the King today?

     KALANDRA: While no one can be as fashionable as me, I can get him close. I'm looking to keep his signature red colour, and absolutely will be staying away from anything grey considering well, you know…

     ELLSWORTH: Ah, yes, the Curse. Best to avoid upsetting the one you are trying to impress; a very good idea indeed.

     ELLSWORTH: Clop, can you tell me what you are doing with this interesting striped number?

     CLOP stomps twice with his front left hoof, three times with his back left hoof, and then one time with his front right hoof. Again, the audience nods in clear understanding.

     ELLSWORTH: Well, alrighty then!

     ELLSWORTH: And last but not least, Ascor! Will your personality continue to shine through in your clothing choices for the King?

     ASCOR: Being an extremely famous and beloved actor it is impossible for my tastes to not shine through and be recognized by others. I know not only will King Skarl love imitating me, but everyone else will enjoy seeing him imitating me. Trust me, bro.

     ELLSWORTH: Fantastic confidence! I suppose I will see you at the next red carpet either way. Well, team, we're about halfway through our time, so I'll let you get back to work!

     27 minutes and 16 seconds later

     ELLSWORTH: 5… 4… 3… 2… 1! And that is TIME! Everyone, hands off your workstations and back away from your creations.

     ELLSWORTH takes a quick lap around the workroom, examining the various designs, inspecting the mannequins, etc.

     ELLSWORTH: These are some lovely pieces. I am very impressed by you all. I cannot wait to see what King Skarl has to say, so let's bring him out!

     SKARL re-enters the room, to much applause and fanfare from the contestants and studio audience. SKARL remains unphased.

     ELLSWORTH: Let's start with Kalandra. Tell us about your choices for banquet wear.

     KALANDRA: Charisma. Uniqueness. Nerve. Talent. What do these things have in common? I don't know. I'm not a scientist, so I wanted to keep it simple. I opted for a one-piece style in his signature red. The elegant lines showcase the softness of the fabric and invokes a red-carpet-importance type of vibe. More importantly, the fabric is stain-resistant, and loose at the waistline, to leave room for dessert!

     ELLSWORTH: I do see what you mean about that red carpet! And yes, room to ah, grow, is crucial when attending a royal feast.

     ELLSWORTH: Next up, Clop! What do you have for us?

     CLOP jumps around in a circle, then stops his front right hoof once, and his back left hoof three times while looking quite pleased with himself.

     ELLSWORTH: Uh… yes… of course… totally understand you…

     Despite ELLSWORTH'S apparent confusion, the audience and other contestants once again seem to have no trouble understanding CLOP. It's quite unclear if SKARL understands him, as he remains emotionless.

     ELLSWORTH: And finally Ascor, please tell us all about your banquet attire.

     ASCOR: I know King Skarl appreciates the finer things in life, as of course do I, so I opted for the most elegant colour there is: gold. This suit has literal bits of gold in it, as do the shoes. There is no question this outfit is not only fit for a king, but made for one.

     ELLSWORTH: That seems like a good thought process, very smart.

     ELLSWORTH: Now that we’ve heard from our contestants, Skarl, care to pick a winner?

     SKARL: I guess. Clop, I like the sparkles.. Let's go with that.

     ELLSWORTH: Um, I would never want to overstep Your Highness… but, you see, we'd like it if you could offer thoughts on each contestant's work, prior to announcing the winner. A little feedback perhaps? Constructive criticism? Anything you liked about their work that you'd love to see them carry into the next round?

     SKARL: No.

     ELLSWORTH looks off-camera nervously, likely locking eyes with the production team for guidance on what to do next. He gestures subtly towards SKARL, and then briefly holds a finger to his earpiece. Nodding, and quickly adjusting back to a neutral face, he continues with the utmost professionalism.

     ELLSWORTH: Well, it seems as though we have a winner folks! Let's all congratulate Clop on a job well done!

     CLOP stomps his front right hoof four times. The audience applauds politely, as the other contestants share vaguely annoyed glances with each other.

     ELLSWORTH: There's still one more round to go so Ascor and Kalandra, don't give up hope!

     KALANDRA crosses her arms with an irritated smirk. ASCOR appears to bound back more quickly, and is now waving at what he presumes to be adoring fans of his in the audience.

     ELLSWORTH: Round two is sleep wear. You are tasked with creating something elegant enough to float around the castle, but comfortable enough to catch some Zs in.

     ELLSWORTH: For winning the first round, Clop has earned a special advantage – the first pick of fabric.

     ELLSWORTH: Clop, you will get the chance to enter the store room before your fellow contestants and reserve a fabric roll of your choice. You will have 5 minutes to make your decision; choose wisely! Once your time is up, Kalandra and Ascor will be allowed to join you, and the round will officially begin.

     CLOP stops his front right hoof, followed by his front left hoof. The camera cuts to SKARL who has already turned around and is nearly finished walking offstage.

     ELLSWORTH: Alright then…Clop, you're up!

     CLOP meanders over to the store room, carefully considering his options. After a few minutes he returns his workstation at the front of the studio with something a little familiar looking…

     ELLSWORTH: As with round one, you have one hour. Now then, on your mark… get set… GO!

     As before, the contestants begin a mad dash around the studio — flinging pieces of clothing, picking fabric rolls out of each other’s hands, rummaging through the shelves, and shouting incoherently. ELLSWORTH watches from the corner, bemused.

     The camera pans to CLOP'S workstation, where a pile of velvety red fabric trimmed in fluffy white fur has formed. It pans back to ELLSWORTH, who begins addressing the camera directly.

     ELLSWORTH: So, Clop appears to be crafting a garment that the King is already known for. One wonders if there is anything to improve upon with the King's signature look. It certainly seems like a risky move for the final round. Clop, do you think this a wise decision on your part?

     CLOP looks around silently then stomps his front right hoof once.

     ELLSWORTH: Oh! I know that one! It means "yes" doesn't it? Well, alright then!

     ELLSWORTH: Kalandra, how are you holding up?

     KALANDRA: Fabulous. I'm doing fabulous. I have what I know will be the perfect loungewear sleeper set for the king. Fashion forward and comfy cosy!

     ELLSWORTH: I love your confidence. What about you, Ascor?

     ASCOR: I'm a little hurt, to be honest. I thought I easily had the best option in round one. I mean, look at me. I style myself for all my red carpet events. I know fashion! But I guess I have to play to my audience of one here and give him something else.

     A montage plays of the contestants continuing their work over the next 40-some odd minutes. It ends, and the final two minutes of the round are shown at regular speed, with a countdown timer ticking down the seconds.

     ELLSWORTH: Alright and that is time! Contestants, please step away from your designs as we welcome the King back for our final round of judging!

     SKARL shuffles back in, almost begrudgingly.

     ELLSWORTH: We’ll start with our leading contestant. Clop, you were given the advantage of the first pick of fabrics. What did you grab and what did you do with it?

     CLOP stomps his back right hoof three times, his front left hoof eight times, his back right hoof once, his back left hoof twice, and his front left hoof once more. The audience appears captivated by his words.

     ELLSWORTH: Uh-huh. Um. Okay. So, next up, Kalandra, can you tell us about your design?

     KALANDRA: Who wouldn't want to dream amongst the clouds, amongst the stars, amongst the moon? This set will have Skarl feeling like not only the King of Meridell, but possibly the King of the Universe. And he'll look the part too.

     ELLSWORTH: Wow, what a description! Kalandra, I see the vision, and I love it. Truly inspirational.

     ELLSWORTH: Last but not least, Ascor, can you share your vision with us?

     ASCOR: King Skarl has to have his signature red so he can be spotted by everyone in the castle, at all times, no matter what. A sleep mask is essential for beauty sleep, so naturally I had to ensure he got one of those. And, finally, I've wrapped up the look with some lovely slippers to keep those feet warm from that chilly late-night castle floor!

     ELLSWORTH: You really put a lot of thought into the details Ascor! Well done.

     ELLSWORTH: Skarl, please, your thoughts for each contestant?

     SKARL: Clop? Knockoff cape. Kalandra? I like it. Ascor? Nice.

     ELLSWORTH: Go on, King, give us nothing.

     ELLSWORTH throws in some sassy finger snaps to lighten the mood. SKARL glares. His mood is not lightened. ELLSWORTH clears his throat nervously.

     ELLSWORTH: So, King Skarl, if you would please. The winner?

     SKARL: Kalandra.

     The camera pans to KALANDRA, who looks quite smug at the news. CLOP does a dejected double-stomp, and ASCOR looks to be on the verge of furiously storming offstage.

     ELLSWORTH: Congratulations Kalandra!

     ELLSWORTH: So, now that we have a winner from each round who are you going to crown as the winner, Skarl? And as a reminder, our grand prize winner will be dressing the King at the Discovery of Meridell Day banquet! So, Skarl, I know you aren't gonna tease this out for us so just spit it out.

     SKARL glares at ELLSWORTH, who shrinks a little. SKARL glances around the studio and sighs.

     SKARL: Kalandra. Sure.

     The camera pans to KALANDRA, who is overjoyed by the news. It then pans to CLOP who hangs his head and stomps his back left hoof three times, then looks at KALANDRA and stomps his front right hoof four times while smiling. It finally catches ASCOR as he throws his hat at a producer as he storms offstage. The camera quickly whips back to KALANDRA who is jumping for joy.

     ELLSWORTH: Kalandra! What a thrill!

     KALANDRA turns to the studio audience.

     KALANDRA: Oh, y’all wanted a twist?

     ELLSWORTH: Well, what a performance by all of our contestants today! I cannot wait to see your look in action at the banquet!

     Outro music begins to play.

     ELLSWORTH: Well folks, that’s all we have time for today! Tune in next time when the most interesting man in Neopia becomes the most handsome. That's right, King Hagan is our next special guest!

     The camera pulls out and shows the whole Styling Studio. KALANDRA starts walking backwards offstage.

     KALANDRA: Miss Kalandra! Miss Kalaaaaaandra!!!

     The volume of the outro music begins to rapidly scale up, as ELLSWORTH struggles to shout over it.

     ELLSWORTH: Until then – thank you contestants and thank you King Skarl. This is Ellsworth, signing off.

     The End.