There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 198,333,111 Issue: 1061 | 17th day of Swimming, Y28
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What’s in a Name?


by hfallyn

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I contemplate my existence, my purpose, my place,

Which can be quite a struggle with an ever-changing face.

Still, I persist; I long and desire to understand,

The meaning of my being on this plane and of this land.

They think me a simple Petpet to feed kibble and parade about,

But I have thoughts and dreams from the rooftops I wish to shout.

My Neopet owner says I’ll be happy with how the ray improves me,

Once I’ve been zapped a rare and coveted Alien Kadoatie.

He tells me it’s ‘for the avatar’, whatever that silly phrase means,

Something to do with bragging, at least, that’s what this Petpet gleans.

I don’t mind the changes. Bodies morph and change with age.

The ray offers colour surprises from Gold to Chocolate, all the rage.

No, it’s the name changes that I find quite odd.

For one day I’m ‘Times New Roman’ and the next I’m plain old ‘Todd.’

My favourite was the name ‘El Champion’, which I held for a fortnight.

I’d strut into the Petpet Battledome, thirsting for a fight.

Then there was ‘Sir Bob of Geraptiku;’ yes, a fun one indeed.

That moniker had my chin raised high, a dashing nobleman, I decreed.

‘Pooper’ lasted a whole two days, the longest rotations of my life.

How my pride was humbled, the mortification like a knife.

Yes, it’s the name changes that make me question who I am,

The shifting of my identity: serious ‘Fritz’ to ‘Pants McGee,’ what a ham.

The greetings of Kooky the Kookith break me from my contemplation,

The laboratory is filled with his maniacal giggles of pure elation.

The whirring of the ray booting up and pressing of buttons fills the air.

I roll my eyes and mutter a word to Fyora in silent prayer.

Suddenly, there’s a bright flash, and before I know it the ray has been fired…

The Kookith announces that I “shall now be known as Mercutio,” how inspired!

Why, with that name, I could be a member of the gentry or a gallant knight,

Ready to defend the honour of my kingdom, never backing down from a fight.

The Kookith politely invites me to return tomorrow, staring with his swirly gaze,

But I hope to keep this fun new moniker for at least a few more days.

 
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