Q: How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?
A: With a pumpkin patch

Q: What do you call a jack-o-lantern who likes pumpkin seeds?
A: A cannibal

Q: Why did the pumpkin have hair?
A: Because he had flipped his lid

Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi

Q: What did one jack-o-lantern say to the other jack-o-lantern on their way to a Halloween party?
A: Let's get glowing

Q: What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A: A plumpkin!

Q: Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin?
A: It wanted to play squash!

Q: What's black, white, orange, and waddles?
A: A penguin with a jack-o-lantern.

Q: What is the difference between a broomstick and a pumpkin?
A: You can't make broomstick pie!

Q: What did one jack-o-lantern say to the other?
A: Cut it out!

Q: Why do jack-o-lanterns have stupid smiles on their faces?
A: You'd have a stupid smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!

Q: How do you address a pumpkin with three heads?
Hello
Hello
Hello

Q: What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin?
A: Why orange you orange?

Q: What does a pumpkin pie say after a big meal?
A: That was filling!

Q: What does a pumpkin sew?
A: A pumpkin patch

Q: What is orange and flies?
A: Super Pumpkin!

Do you want to hear a gruesome story? A farmer planted a pumpkin seed. He watered it and cared for it very well, and soon it grew some, and grew some ....

Q: What did the pumpkin say at Thanksgiving?
A. Good-pie!