Samdsay

My worst punishment would be the heaven. There, I never could see anyone that I've loved again.

I thought nothing could go wrong.
He turned my life into a hell. He is a monster. And he is still here.

He said that he would be mine forever... But he was wrong. I stayed here. And he went to hell. Or to heaven, I don't know. I never was the one that accepts everything without questioning. I sought revenge. I sold my soul to be able to kill those who destroyed everything I had, who destroyed the reason of my existence. But I didn't have enough courage for this. I thought I knew what I had to pay, but I was wrong. I paid much more than my soul. I paid my freedom.

He didn't have any reason to do this. He just done as his pleasure.

Before, I thought the heaven would be the worst punishment. Now, I see that is not the heaven. Is what I'm living now. He turned me into a monster. I'm not alive. Neither dead. I just exist, like an empty box. Without feelings, no love, no hate, just with my worst memories. He turned me into an immortal sentenced to live in a world that I despise. For what destination, I do not know. Just know it will be so forever. This is the price.

Now my world is like an eternal winter. Cold, a place that always lack hope. And as a winter, I want that spring comes soon. But I know that it is impossible.

I envy people who have a soul. I envy people who can still be happy, people who have feelings, who have lives. Is for that I hate them.

He destroyed the person I loved the most in my life. And I gave to him what he wanted. My soul.

I haven't said goodbye from people that I loved when I had time. So I suffered with their losses.
I made many mistakes. Now, I have to pay.