Neopia's Hole Truth

After many soaks in a medicinal mud bathe to soothe my sore muscles, I end my day in Tyrannia. Having decided to play a few relaxing rounds of good old’ Kacheekers, I jumped across the gorge to get to the other side and tripped again on a large Tonu egg, falling into yet another hole.

Either I’m really clumsy, or I see a pattern reoccurring. There are many more holes in Neopia than I ever realized. The Wishing Well is what? A large stone hole that people simply toss Neopoints into. Techo Mountain? Also a hole, just filled with scorching hot magma. So I was beginning to think, maybe these holes have a reason for being there, but certainly not all of them. Maybe some silly Meercas are trying to prank me? After collecting the notes of my trip, I tried to draw connections, and came up with these theories on why Neopia seems to be so full of holes.

1) The Turmaculus Travels!

With so many big holes, I wondered what could possibly make them. Then this big fellow came along as I was searching through Meridell. When he disappeared for a bit to roll away from danger during the wars against Darigan, he seemed to leave a large hole. Maybe the Turmaculus likes to travel? Though he is lazy, that doesn’t always mean he is always asleep. Sometimes he eats, and he also is a known sleep walker, or so Mrs. Turmaculus claims.

2) Sloth Weapon Testing

Sloth has always been known to cook up some dastardly weapons, such as his infamous Bzzt Blaster. Unfortunately, not all weapons turn out to be a high caliber weapon, and have the mere power of a Chia Squirt Gun. On those rare occasions when he does create another weapon worth drooling over, it often results in many a large gapping holes from his frequent and what appear to be rather fun weapon tests.

3) Symols

Ah, the accursed Symols. Not only a garden pest which seem to eat all my asparagus plantations, but they have a good knack of making holes. Most of the time these holes are well hidden behind a bush or deep within what appears to be just another hole, but in Meridell they have found a Symol hole large enough for petpets. You may wonder why I ever go to the Symol hole? Well that’s easy, they hide good stuff in their holes, and while I can’t get the items they stole from me, perhaps I can get something they stole from someone else. (I’d return it to them of course if their name is clearly indicated, along with their place of residence.) My Drackonack loves diving down into the hole and sometimes forgets why I send him down. I must admit Symols are also clever little petpets that hide their goodies rather well. And so my petpet often returns empty handed, but with a really big grin on his face.

4) Excessive Driving

There is only one Neopian rich enough to pay the taxes and therefore permitted to drive around in Neopia, I’m not sure if you’ve seen him, but it’s a little Chia with a very bad taste in hair styles. His name is Nigel, and his car is a red convertible Lamborghini. Now the roads were built for Uni and buggies, nothing automated. Which means, you guessed it, pot holes. It seems Nigel is more of a menace to society than first imagined. I tried to question him one day when I saw him at a stop in his street machine about my suspicions He seemed helpful enough, right up until I started to question him and then suddenly he was “unavailable for comment” and sped off down the road.

5) Lava and Other Natural Disasters

Neopia is full of disasters. Cities have sunk because of whirlpools, wars and evil curses. Mystery Island alone has plenty of holes from volcanic eruptions. When the volcano blew random boulders went flying up and crashing down. Smashing huts and creating even more holes. The volcano its self is what else? Another giant hole! Certainly, these freaky events have lead to many more holes.

6) Fyora Has a Bad Hair Day

Everyone (even the Queen of Neopia) have bad hair days. And when the Queen has one, she can get a little irritable. Its difficult to say what is she does on these days. Perhaps expend her wrath on Neopia by her not so perfect hair? Luckily though, we have faeries of hygiene to stop that from happening. Just make sure that the next time to you go to faerie world that you see lightning, you teleport back down to Neopia or you may wake up hours later in a ditch.

7) Failed Treasure Burials

Pirates often think they have found the perfect place to hide their Jewels and trinkets, only to later find a major flaw in the site. The treasure hole might collapse, or the spot is too obvious and could easily be found even without a map. Or perhaps the pirate wasn’t too bright and buries the treasure anyway which is quickly stolen by thieves or explorers. How else do you think a deserted city of Sahkmet could become rich and flourishing with so few assets? By digging up pirates treasures!

Besides I’m told that Sahkmet was once covered by the oceans, meaning the maps created by the pirates have become useless to them, its no wonder they are handing out pieces now an then. They would be better off just digging randomly in the desert, but then that would only create even more holes!

8) Grundos

You may seem confused how these little aliens could wreck any form of havoc to create these dastardly holes that riddle Neopia. But the orange Grundos are amazingly strong for their size, and often play Gormball with a large hulking boulder. When they accidentally toss the rock out of the Kreludor atmosphere voila, a crater is formed on the surface.

9) Evil citadel removal

Normally, evil citadels such as Darigan don’t come around too often. Take a look at Darigan and its once evil citadel, ever wonder where that chunk of land came from? As the great King Hagan said, “If you dig it, a hole will come.” Well, maybe he didn’t say it EXACTLY, but when you basically take ground from Neopia, a hole should form.

10) Big rocks in Tyrannia

In Tyrannia big rock houses are common and usually are made by some old large rocks. But if these houses are to be made, someone has to move the materials. By moving these heavy rocks around with the Ugh Guh Huh Inc. Moving Services (UGH, for short) these houses can be made. Unfortunately, these guys are notorious for doing jobs half way, dropping rocks, and making a big mess, meaning big holes from all those dropped rocks, not to mention the holes left from excavating the rocks in the first place!

11) Crazy Ancient Art People

Rather than simply using common building techniques and UGH for construction, they decided to dig a large hole. Now that’s art dedication: to build an entire tunnel just to show off art! Most likely, these ancient artists couldn’t decide where to put their catacombs, and made plenty of holes. Records in Tyrannia show ancient cave paintings depicting these buildings. Now of course Tyrannians aren’t well known for their artistic talent, so I’m not quite sure if those paintings are to show hole excavation, or a warning sign for a large, angry evil monster. (Aah, run away!!!!)

12) Wild Uni Herds

With their hooves, a hole can easily be formed, especially where they walk often. See the large canyon in Tyrannia? A Tyrannian Uni ancestral migration trail!

Even with a good amount of free time and a good few cans of Neocola at hand, it’s still hard to figure out how all these holes could just suddenly appear. With Neopia being around for years, more are certainly to come, and maybe someday, the truth of why Neopia is so full of holes, will finally be revealed.