The Mysterious Disappearance of a Neopian Times Editor

     Arethusa read every article, short story, continued series, and comic with an eye of someone who dreamed of seeing their name on a byline. She would be a reporter one day, you see.

     “I thought you would have finished last night!”

     Arethusa’s older sister, Athena, padded into the kitchen. The Grey Ixi’s equally Grey Faellie trailed behind her. Arethusa flattened The Times across the kitchen table and turned to her sister. “A great journalist reads for enjoyment first, and critically second.”

     Athena smiled. Try as she might, it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Ah, of course,” the Ixi mused like Arethusa’s sage advice applied to her, but then she frowned at the paper. “Looks a little thin this week.”

     Arethusa shrugged, though she had noticed that weeks ago. The paper appeared to have a few less pages every week. Less articles, less comics, less stories to consume.

      “Have you decided what to write about?” Athena continued.

     Arethusa frowned into an article on how to care for one’s Weewoo with a humph! “No. I have yet to get to the bottom of the missing Bacon Belly Busters in Faerieland. It’s probably Jhudora, you know, stealing them all for herself. I don’t exactly want to write an exposé on her.”

     Her sister agreed and sipped her Banana Cream Coffee. “You’ll find something. You uncover all the mysteries in the house.”

     “Finding missing plushies isn’t newsworthy.” Arethusa levelled a look at Athena. They were usually found squished between the mattress and underneath the bed of their Baby Xweetok sister.

     “You’ll find something. I can sense things, you know,” Athena said in a way that carried the reassuring aura of an older sister.

     Arethusa opened her mouth to suggest they head to the track to watch the Poogle Races when a slight thump sounded against the front door.

     As an aspiring journalist, Arethusa was well-versed in all things arriving at their home. From the light wisp of an envelope dropping into their slot, to the hearty thump of a package being dropped off. But it was the thick thwomp of the Neopian Times against the stoop that was her favourite sound of all.

     However, this sound was like none of the sounds she heard before. Not to mention that all their mail arrived in the afternoon. She hadn’t even finished eating her Aisha Cinnamon Roll for breakfast yet.

     Arethusa all but raced to the door and threw it open.

     A Blue Draik delivering what suspiciously looked like a copy of the Neopian Times startled.

     “What’s this?” she asked and bent over as the Draik adjusted a heavy brown delivery bag across his shoulder.

     “A special edition,” he told her as she unrolled it to read the headline.

     Arethusa gasped. Her sister joined her at the door, attempting to read over her shoulder. “What is it?”

     But the Draik beat Arethusa to it. “One of the editors. She’s gone missing.”

     “Missing?” Athena gasped, but the Draik took flight in a hurry to deliver the rest of his stash.

     Arethusa’s mind spun in a way only an investigative journalist could. She was aghast, of course. How does an editor disappear? Her nose twitched in anticipation.

     “I know that look,” Athena said with a hint of worry.

     “I found my story, Athena! Just like you predicted!” Arethusa threw her arms around Athena’s neck in a tight hug.

     The flustered Ixi tried to stop her. “This sounds dangerous.”

     Arethusa held tight to her first clue as she pulled on her black coat. Her Weewoo, Alpheias, fluttered onto Arethusa’s shoulder.

     “A story like this could launch my career!”

     xxx

     “Ms. Gridela Cooke, an editor for the Neopian Times, was last seen in her office editing the upcoming 1000th issue according to her assistant, Aria Snoot.”

     “And that is where we will start,” Arethusa said to Alpheias. The Weewoo simply blinked and shifted on Arethusa’s shoulder.

     Rolling up the paper, she tucked it under her arm and looked up at Neopian Times’ head offices. A burst of excitement crawled up her spine as she stared at the glittering windows and the marbled sign.

     Naturally, this wasn’t her first time here. As the aspiring journalist she was, she had been on tours and field trips, and even walked by it on her way to run errands. Arethusa smiled. It still took her breath away.

     Neopian Times was always a busy building. Delivery personnel rushed in and out with stacks rolled up in their bags. Reporters’ noses stuck deep in their notepads as they furiously wrote down thoughts and article ideas down. Arethusa’s paw twitched to her pocket where her own notepad was.

     Alpheias tweeted in her ear.

     “I know. I was only admiring the building,” she explained to her Petpet and headed inside.

     What felt like Faerie Pancakes flipped and took flight in her stomach as she walked through the doors. A Skeith security guard spoke with a Kougra detective.

     Arethusa shoved her nerves down and slowed her steps. Conversations like this wouldn’t be found in the paper.

     “What do you mean no one was on patrol?” The Kougra’s voice was husky and authoritative. All business. The Skeith appeared to gulp and tug on the collar of his security uniform.

     “We take breaks, Sir,” he tried to explain before moving out of Arethusa’s earshot. She had what she needed anyway. Whenever Gridela Cooke went missing? There had been no witnesses.

     Arethusa did not have an ID badge as she wasn’t a journalist—yet!—but lucky for her, the building was in chaos. Other Neopets whispered amongst each other as they bent over desks and watercoolers. She even spotted a Speckled Acara rummaging in a coat closet as if Gridela decided to take a nap there between edits.

     Arethusa found her way to the elevators quite easily and punched the button for floor five.

     On one of her many visits here, she remembered that editors’ offices were on the fifth floor.

     Alone in the elevator she said to Alpheias, “As long as we look like we belong, no one will question why we’re here.”

     Alpheias tweeted in agreement as the elevator stopped. The doors slid open to reveal an equally chaotic scene. She walked down the main aisle looking at the name plaques outside each office. Though, it wasn’t hard to spot which office was Gridela’s. More detectives walked in and out, carrying boxes of evidence and toying with cameras around their necks.

     However, she didn’t bother with the detectives—what information would they be willing give a journalist that wasn’t published—yet!—anyway?

     The desk directly across from Gridela’s belonged to a Pastel Poogle. Often overlooked, assistants however, knew everything. Gridela’s assistant, Aria Snoot, looked on worriedly as the detectives walked by her without much of a glance. Arethusa assumed they already extensively interviewed her.

     “They still haven’t found her?” Arethusa asked, doing her best to look worried and approachable. The Poogle startled for a moment, looking at Arethusa and then the Weewoo on her shoulder before relaxing.

     “No, and I’m so concerned. They think the answer is somewhere in that office.”

     Arethusa’s paw twitched, but she resisted the urge to pull out the notepad in her pocket. If she did, Aria would clam up.

     “You don’t think so?” she asked casually and leaned against the dividing wall separating Aria’s desk from a vacant one.

     “I-I—,” the Poogle paused to gain her composure. “I think Gridela will be returned. It’s all silly, really.”

     Arethusa perked up as Aria shook her head. Returned? That would lend to the fact that Gridela didn’t leave on her own. There was no quote in the paper that Gridela had been abducted. Did Aria know more than she had let on?

     “You make it sound like she wasn’t alone,” Arethusa started and artfully manoeuvred herself in front of Aria, blocking the Poogle’s view of the office and the detectives inside it.

     Aria bit her lip as conflict stormed across her eyes. “I think it’s all a big misunderstanding. Everyone took it all so seriously, and I didn’t know what to say. I don’t want to get in trouble.”

     The invisible weight atop of the Poogle’s shoulder started to quake and Arethusa leaned in, placing a comforting paw on Aria. Perhaps she was in the right place at the right time. Or perhaps like her sisters told her time and time again: Arethusa had a face you wanted to unburden your troubles to.

     She would take the latter if it helped in all her future articles as an investigative journalist.

     “What’s going on?” she urged.

     Aria took a deep breath. “I think they were disgruntled writers. I didn’t want to say anything because that’s bad press, right? Angry writers abducting their editor? Can you imagine? Gridela was already worried about funding being pulled from future editions because of how short issues have been lately.”

     Arethusa pressed her lips together. She had noticed the shorter editions.

     “She wanted no bad press, she told me that a lot these past couple of weeks. She said it last night, too,” the Poogle continued.

     “That’s why you lied?” Arethusa asked.

     Aria nodded. “I’m sure she’ll be back, soon.”

     If the Poogle nodded hard enough, she must believe it to be true, Arethusa thought.

     “Aria,” Arethusa started, taking on a more serious tone. “Do you know who took Gridela?”

     Since Arethusa blocked the Poogle’s view of the office, Aria looked up into Arethusa’s eyes.

     “I don’t know. I thought I saw Finn Frost in the group, but I’m not sure. Gridela doesn’t edit his work.”

     Her next clue! Arethusa was giddy, but maintained her look of concern.

     Aria’s gaze rested below Arethusa’s shoulder and frowned. The exact space where an ID card would hang if Arethusa worked there.

     “Hey, what department did you say you worked in?” Aria asked.

     Arethusa shrugged breezily despite knowing it was time for her to go. “Mailroom. I better get back. The mail won’t sort itself.”

     Or, maybe it did? With as many letters, submissions, and fan mail that made its way to Neopian Times, surely some Air Faerie magic was involved?

     Her own lie seemed to be convincing enough for Aria. “You better put your badge on. I think security will be very tight until Gridela comes back.”

     “Good idea. Thanks, Aria,” Arethusa said.

     Alpheias tweeted at her shoulder.

     “I know. That was close. But we have our next clue,” Arethusa whispered to her Weewoo as they made their exit.

     The great thing about being in the Neopian Times offices, was that there was no shortage of past copies.

     She picked up a copy of Issue #999 off a coffee table on her way out the door.

     xxx

     As Arethusa wandered around Neopia Central, she took in the excited atmosphere of Neopets and their owners shopping for new goods, visiting the Money Tree and the Neolodge. It was a stark contrast from the environment of the Neopian Times building.

     Arethusa sighed and sat down on a bench near the Neopian Bank.

     “I thought the comic section was a little… different this week,” she said to Alpheias as she unfolded Issue #999 and flipped to the comedy section.

     Aria thought she saw Finn Frost with Gridela before she disappeared.

     Finn Frost was a Starry Lupe and an extremely funny comic. Arethusa didn’t know how to write humour, so she greatly admired those who could. She stopped on his comic, of two Lupes telling a joke.

     “Why did the Kacheek cross the road?” The first Lupe asked.

     “Why?” asked the second.

     “To get to the other side… of Neopia!”

     Arethusa pressed her lips together. As she noted when she first read it, it wasn’t funny. Finn told so many funny jokes! Perhaps she merely didn’t understand it.

     She looked down at another comic by Joss Fellowest. Her piece was another not-very-funny commentary on cheese and Chias.

     Arethusa folded the paper back up and looked up in thought. Where was the connection?

     Alpheias tweeted in her ear.

     “I’m thinking, I’m thinking,” she griped at the Weewoo. “I mean, obviously, I must find Finn Frost. I should find him before anyone else does. I can only hold the lead for so long.”

     Alpheias nipped at her ear.

     “Hey!” she exclaimed but focused on the Weewoo who wiggled on her shoulder urgently. Her feathered head nodded in another direction. Arethusa followed her petpet’s eye of sight until it fell on a Disco Gnorbu.

     “Oh, Alpheias! Is that?” Arethusa asked and whipped the 999th issue open again. It was.

     Beside Joss Fellowest’s comedy article was her small picture next to her name. A Disco Gnorbu.

     Joss was a very funny writer—save for her Issue 999 article—but she was not very stealthy. As she left the bank, she looked over her shoulder several times before walking behind a family of very tall Grarrls. But, she wasn’t done as she kept looking over her shoulder as if she expected to be stopped at any moment.

     “I think we need to follow our next clue,” Arethusa said to Alpheias’ happy chirps.

     They fell in line with the busy crowd shopping in Neopia Central, but kept an eye on Joss as the Gnorbu weaved through shoppers. They continued to the Bazaar, where she stopped at the vacant Toy Shop and threw another look over her shoulder before knocking on the door.

     Arethusa opened up her issue of the Times and pretended to read. Alpheias chirped when they were in the clear.

     It was curious that the Toy Shop was so vacant on a busy shopping day, but as Arethusa cautiously approached the store, she noticed a sign written hastily in thick black marker.

     CLOSED – COME BACK TOMORROW.

     Now, she herself casted a glance behind her to check if the coast was clear before strolling around the side of the building and out of sight from prying eyes.

     “I know this could all be for nothing,” Arethusa told Alpheias, “but it could all be for everything, too.”

     She crept along the darkened windows, trying to catch a glimpse inside without having whoever was inside catch a glimpse of her. Arethusa couldn’t see anyone. So, where had Joss gone?

     Arethusa pulled her paws over her eyes and peered deeper into the store.

     Wait a minute.

     Was that a glow of a light coming from underneath a door by the store’s register?

     “Hey! What are you doing here?”

     Arethusa jumped clear away from the window.

     Gah! Rookie mistake! Never get caught in a place where you shouldn’t!

     A Krawk who had a heavy messenger bag across his shoulder—not that it deterred him from confronting her—stood a few feet away from her.

     “I-I-I was really hoping to purchase a Vanity Doll today,” she explained.

     “The store is closed,” he said.

     “I know, but—” Arethusa started, but was cut off.

     “You better come with me,” the Krawk said.

     Arethusa started to back up. “I’m not looking for trouble.”

     The Krawk shifted from one foot to the other, but he jerked his head to the entrance. “Come on, let’s go.”

     She could run, and Arethusa knew she could get away, but Alpheias pecked at her face and she took a moment to really look at the Krawk. He looked a little familiar. Perhaps she had seen his picture in the comic section of the Times. She already knew Joss Fellowest was let inside the store. Arethusa doubted there would be any real trouble inside the Toy Shop, of all places.

     “All right, then,” Arethusa said and followed the Krawk around to the front. He knocked and after a few tense seconds of the two staring at each other with unease, the door opened.

     It was the Orange Lupe that ran the shop. She looked down at them and sighed. “More of you?”

     She flung her hands up in frustration but pulled the door aside for them to enter.

     “The number of sales I’m losing for keeping the store closed all day so my cousin can air his grievances with an editor,” the Lupe mumbled and led them to the door Arethusa had noticed before.

     A lot of words jumped out at her. Cousin. Editor. Grievances?

     If she had to guess…

     “Your cousin is Finn Frost?” Arethusa asked.

     “The one and only,” the Lupe grumbled and opened the door. Dark wood steps led into a basement.

     At least it wasn’t totally creepy. The lights were on.

     With the Krawk lingering behind her, Arethusa didn’t have much of a choice but to descend the stairs.

     All conversation ceased when she hit the last step. Arethusa faced half a dozen Neopets crowded around a White Zafara.

     Gridela Cooke, the missing editor.

     And shaking a well-crumpled 999th issue of the Neopian Times was the Starry Lupe himself, Finn Frost.

     The Lupe looked at her, to the Weewoo on her shoulder, and to the Krawk beside her.

     “Who is this?” he asked.

     The Krawk shrugged. “I found her lurking outside the windows upstairs, but Finn, you have to see this—”

     But Finn cut the Krawk off.

     “So, you brought her inside?” Finn asked. He didn’t sound angry. It was more… defeated, and tired, and like this was not how he thought his day was going to go.

     Knowing she would have to use her wits more than she ever had to get Gridela and herself out of this situation, Arethusa cleared her throat.

     “I think this is about Issue 999, yes?” Arethusa asked and nodded toward the copy Finn held tightly in his paw.

     Finn blinked in surprise. “How would you know?”

     Arethusa nodded at his issue and pulled out her own. Carefully, she opened up to the comic section and read the joke. “‘Why did the Kacheek cross the road? To get to the other side… of Neopia!’”

     She looked back up in time to see Finn wince at the terrible landing of the joke. To her surprise, most of the others gathered around him did to.

     “It sounds worse the more I hear it,” a Disco Gnorbu—Joss Fellowest—shook her head as she stood beside Finn.

     The only one who didn’t react at all was Gridela. “It’s not that bad,” the Zafara said.

     Finn whipped back around to face the editor. He shook the issue in aggravation. “It is that bad, Gridela! I’m funny, and this is so very not funny.”

     “How did the joke end up in here like this?” Arethusa asked.

     Finn pointed an accusatory paw at Gridela. “Ask her, she edited the piece.”

     Arethusa frowned. “But you’re not the comic editor.”

     Gridela Cooke was the very serious editor of short stories. Arethusa read multiple interviews where Gridela highlighted the importance of storytelling. She was also very proud and—from what Arethusa heard—very stubborn. Could the later be part of the reason she found herself in this current predicament?

     The Zafara in question sighed and rubbed her nose in thought. “The regular comic editor, Maia, came down with a very unfortunate case of Floppy Tongue. She’s been out and I had to step in and help edit her pieces. A lot of editors have come down sick.”

     That explained why recent issues had been thinner.

     “But,” Finn interjected and flipped back open to his comic, “how did my jokes end up like this? How did all of our pieces end up the way they did?”

     The other Neopets murmured in agreement. All eyes turned to Gridela.

     Gridela looked nervously at everyone, rubbing her paws together as if clasping them tight enough might prevent her from having to explain.

     “There was a mistake when I sent everything to print. The Lennys working on it told me there was an issue with formatting and some of the pieces had been erased. We stayed up through the night trying to fix things and I had to come up with some jokes on my own.” Gridela took a long, shuttering breath. “A mistake worth pulling funding for, I’m sure.”

     Funding. It was the same thing Aria had told Arethusa earlier. Gridela despised bad press and was worried about funding.

     “You didn’t change our jokes to try and ruin our careers?” Finn asked.

     Gridela’s eyes widened in shock. “What? No! I would never.”

     Finn sighed in relief as did the other Neopets.

     Arethusa shook her head in disbelief. “So, this abduction was all based on… a misunderstanding?”

     “Abduction?” Finn and Gridela exclaimed in shock at the same time.

     Now every eye was on her.

     “Who did you say you were?” Gridela asked.

     The Aisha lifted her head proudly despite the scrutiny from the crowd. “I’m Arethusa.” She cleared her throat. “An investigative journalist.”

     She had to own her self-imposed title at some point. Published or not.

     Alpheias chirped on her shoulder proudly.

     “And this is Alpheias, and we were investigating the disappearance of Gridela.”

     “I’m not missing,” Gridela said, her voice rising in alarm.

     Arethusa pulled out that morning’s special paper. Gridela yanked it out of her paw and scanned the headline, her eyes filling with fear. “Oh, no! This is bad. Bad press.”

     The Krawk beside her spoke up, “That’s what I was trying to tell you earlier.” He dug in his bag and produced half a dozen of the morning’s special paper.

     “Are we going to get in trouble?” Finn panicked.

     “Of course not,” Gridela said, but she paused in thought.

     “Like I said, this could all be a misunderstanding,” Arethusa said.

     “How will we explain this?” she asked.

     According to the paper, abduction was never mentioned. Arethusa looked around the basement before landing on the group of extremely funny comedians.

     Arethusa smiled. Lucky for them, Arethusa had the perfect solution.

     -One Week Later-

     The Toy Shop was standing room only on the eve of the Neopian Times 1000th Issue Party.

     Alpheias chirped happily in her ear as Arethusa stood close to the makeshift stage with her sister, Athena, as Finn Frost took centre stage for his stand-up.

     “But also,” he continued, captivating the entire audience. “What do you say to a Neopet throwing a tantrum?”

     He paused for dramatic effect.

     “Stop throwing a Hissi-fit!”

     The crowd roared with laughter, even Alpheias’ tweets sounded like giggling.

     “This all came together great,” Athena said as Finn went into his next set of jokes.

     Arethusa nodded at how the party had come together. The comedy show had been her idea. What way to show off the talents of the comedians at a party where readers and fellow Neopians would come to celebrate the Neopian Times’ big achievement? The blunders of the 999th issue would be a faded memory by the end of the night and wondrously good press for the paper, which was what Gridela wanted.

     Not to mention Maia and the other sick editors had made full recoveries.

     It was easy to convince Finn’s cousin to host at the Toy Shop since she had missed a day of revenue. The party only started an hour ago, and toys had been flying off the shelves since.

     “How did you pull it all off in such a short amount of time?” Athena asked.

     Arethusa opened her mouth to speak, but was stopped by the White Zafara joining them by the stage.

     “You can read all about it in tomorrow’s 1000th issue,” Gridela said, pulling out a freshly rolled paper from her bag.

     Her older sister squeezed Arethusa’s shoulder as she unfolded the paper and looked at the headline. There it was, her picture next to a byline with her name.

     The Mysterious Disappearance of a Neopian Times Editor.

     Gridela grinned at Arethusa over the top of the paper.

     “Welcome to the Neopian Times, Arethusa.”

     The End.