 Neopian Restaurant Reviews with the Xweetok Sisters
by neomystress
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Hello Neopia! Your favourite Xweetok sisters, Allora, Denise, and Jessie are back with another instalment of our best (and worst!) restaurant reviews. This month, we made stops in Qasala, Faerieland, Neopia Central, and Terror Mountain, and BOY do we have some juicy reviews for you today. Most notably, with the recent implementation of Dung Dash this spring, it’s been interesting to see how various restaurants have changed. Some of our favourites are now struggling to deliver their usual level of quality, bogged down by tons of online orders! Some have forgone it all together, citing enormous fees and poorly treated workers. Only time will tell if Dung Dash becomes a juggernaut in the Neopian restaurant industry, or become a distant, laughable memory! **** Allora, here! Thankfully I was able to try soooo much good food this month, it was difficult to choose my top pick! As you’ll see though, worst was a no-brainer. Qasalan Delights – ☆☆☆☆☆ True to its name, my time here was absolutely delightful! A real oasis in the desert, this restaurant has an array of dishes to keep you cool (we’re all big fans of the Fruit Shaved Ice), but stays true to its roots in offering some delicious and authentic cuisine. This time around, I had the Meat Pastry and a side of the Pickle Qasalan Pickles. The pastry crust was nice and flaky, packed with flavorful meat that had a touch of spice, and the pickles had the BEST crunch to them. Cannot recommend it enough! Faerie Foods – ☆ The adorably pink atmosphere and picturesque setting couldn’t even save this one. Understandably, most if not all the dishes here have some sort of magical quality to them. However, the management really must do a better job of keeping the food in line so as not to detract from the guest’s experience! My Veggie Faerie Burger was cute, and delivered to me in quick order, but it straight up flew away. Telling this to the waitress, she just shrugged and said “Sometimes they do that,” without so much as offering to bring out another. One star, definitely the worst of the month for me, and possibly even the year. *** Just outside of Neopia Central sits a flat little building with a grandiose reputation preceding Y8. Pizzaroo has prided itself on serving one 'perfect' dish to its clientele since its founding under Giovanni Ciagini -- and it doesn't take a genius to guess what that item is. Pizza. Pizza as far as the eye can see, or the nose can smell. The odour of grease and worse - namely body odour from the undeodorized clientele grabbing a quick lunch after gym class - permeated the air all the way from where we were staying in the Presidential Palace. The air was noxious, so much so that it singed half my tail-scales off before I even entered the institution. To say I was apprehensive about my later visit was an understatement. The Pizzaroo's slogan, "Uniquely flavoured pizzas" doesn't cover *half* of it. I requested the servicer's finest dish, and after a dragging 22.3 minutes where I'm 96% certain I witnessed the head chef sneeze on the pizza pan, I received a pineapple pizza on my plate. ... ... ... What kind of animal runs this establishment?! Pineapple does NOT belong on pizza!! ... Moving on. I did not let that equivalent-of-a-Dr.Sloth-invasion dissuade me from completing my visit. After pawning off the pineapple pizza to some little nuisance with unrefined taste, I ordered something that *wasn't* an absolute abomination (or at least I hoped): a Tigerbuggle Pizza. The menu claimed it was gourmet, but to my palate, it was anything *but*. Unsurprisingly, grease caked it to the point that the entire top layer slid off and into my lap with a resounding *fwap*. Thank Fyora I had the foresight to equip myself with a napkin, although next time I will pack three, before the grease *soaked through the napkin*. The crust was soggy as well, and it was quite obvious to me that the zit-faced servicers of this establishment did not comprehend Ciagini's original intent when he founded Pizzaroo. Pizzaroo has fallen from grace. If you're brave enough to visit, wear a hazmat suit to prevent any grease stains on your attire. Or better yet, spare yourself the headache and avoid this place at all costs. ☆ --Denise *** Hai guys, it’s time for Jessie’s SUPER AWESOME ultra reviews!! My first stop was at The Bakery, LET’S GET THIS BREAD lolz. They always have a like, HUGE selection of tasty treats, I just wanna eat it ALL! I was in a super strawberry mood, so I had to get a Strawberry Aisha Cookie (ADORBS), a Strawberry Fruit Cup (yummy, but kinda ugly?? idk), and Strawberry Koi Waffles (omGG I want to BATHE in this syrup!). The food was all super good, the Breadmaster never fails oN flavour. I just think some of the stuff could be cuter!! Four stars! ☆☆☆☆ Next up, the Slushie Shop! Suuuuuper cute shop in the cosiest little Terror Mountain village. The shopkeeper is so sweet, just like all the treats in this shop!!!! We chatted for so long I didn’t even realize we were holding up the line! Ooops. I know what you’re all thinking though. “Jessie, WHAT?! Why would you get cold stuff where it’s cold?!” But OH EM GEEEEE, you GUYS!!!!111!! The Sparkle Berry Slushie is THE MOST AMAZING THING TO EVER LIVE!! For reals, you NEED this slushie in your life right now NOW! It’s a super yummy berry flavour and even better so CUTE and ~ aesthetic ~ for pictures, my posts of it got like a thousand likes! -no tags here-3 I give it five stars, and would totes come back again!!! ☆☆☆☆☆
*** Here’s to another month of delicious recommendations & words of warning! As always, we hope our reviews help you choose your next delicious meal, whether it’s an old favourite or somewhere new. We’ll see you next time! Love & Yummy Foods, Allora, Denise, & Jessie
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