Where there's a Weewoo, there's a way Circulation: 192,587,585 Issue: 654 | 18th day of Swimming, Y16
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

Hero Hot Dog

by marzipan


In the beginning, he was just an ordinary hot dog, destined to be lathered in ketchup, mustard and relish, and greedily eaten by a hungry Neopet. However, the hot dog cart where he was almost sold was struck by lightning, granting him super powers as a result. Believing that he was destined for something more than being eaten, he donned a red cape and decided to fight evil wherever it may be and whatever condiment it may be accompanied by. He is... HERO HOT DOG.


     *triumphant trumpet entrance music*

     It was a quiet day at Neopia Hero HQ. Judge Hog was paying his old mentor, the Techo Master, a long awaited visit, while young Lenny Flash, Judge Hog's sidekick, was back home helping his mum tend to the family cabbage farm. The result was that the admin staff were left running the HQ, and Hero Hot Dog checked in that day just to clock his work card. On the way he passed his good friend, Stealthy Hot Dog, and they went to do their routine check of Neopia through the surveillance system together.

     Hero Hot Dog could never really tell what Stealthy Hot Dog was thinking, but he thought that it was best to respect Stealthy Hot Dog's privacy and not nose around in his mind. Stealthy Hot Dog, on the other hand, only looked mysterious, but his regular thought process was outrageously uninteresting, usually concerning when the stores would discount their goods and how quickly he could get down there. Stealthy Hot Dog was highly relieved that Hero Hot Dog never asked many questions in regards to his inner thoughts, and ultimately, the two got along well.

     As they perused the numerous CCTV cameras set up inside Neopia Bazaar, Hero Hot Dog was soon suspicious of a large crowd gathering outside Hubert's Hot Dogs. As he and Stealthy Hot Dog watched closer, the CCTV cameras suddenly shorted out. Drat! Something was obviously going on in the bazaar, and the only way to know was to get down there. Hero Hot Dog was gifted with the power of flight, and quickly gave Stealthy Hot Dog a lift down to the bazaar... but as they got there, all they saw was Hubert giving out free samples of his new hot dogs. Of course, the two Hot Dog Heroes weren't impressed, but they had long accepted that most other hot dogs were not sentient as they were, and it was widely agreed that they would only save sentient hot dogs from the mouths of Neopets.

     But if there was nothing suspicious going on the bazaar, then why did the surveillance system short out? As the two edible heroes discussed this, there was suddenly a loud bang heard not so far from their location. It was in Neopia Central! As the heroes raced towards the centre of town, they saw large columns of smoke coming from the bank, which was now a pile of rubble. Hero Hot Dog readied his laser -mustard beams and Stealthy Hot Dog was prepared to fire relish shuriken, when suddenly many innocent citizens began rushing towards the rubble to rescue their loved ones. Just when our two heroes made a move to help them, who else but the Villainous Apple appeared amidst the smoke and chaos!


     'Mwhahaha, you heroes were so na├»ve in thinking that Hubert was causing trouble! You always fall for diversions when it involved your own kind!'

     Our two heroes wasted no time in retaliation, and fired their weapons at the Villainous Apple. But just before they hit, their enemy was whisked away along with his loot! They looked up, only to see their old rival, driving his spaceship; it was Sloth Dog! As the heroes watched the villains blast off in their spaceship, this could only mean one thing, that they were headed for the remote regions of Kreludor. However, the Hero Hot Dog and Stealthy Hot Dog had more pressing issues right now, which was to aid the rescue effort at the bank. Just as they gave the citizens instructions, Judge Hog arrived with the fire brigade.

     'Hero Hot Dog! Stealthy Hot Dog! You two must pursue Villainous Apple and Sloth Dog; I've contacted the Space Faerie already, but no other hero on duty can go into the remote parts of Kreludor because the air is too thin. I'll have the rescue mission covered, don't worry about that. Now get going!'

     Both Hot Dogs (somehow) saluted Judge Hog, and, once again, Hero Hot Dog gave Stealthy Hot Dog a ride; this time, into space. As they reached Kreludor, they had no other leads except that they knew the two comestible villains were on Neopia's moon. Our two heroes discussed what plans they had, and decided that, even though they were men, they would ask for directions. This turned out fruitful, as some local Grundo had seen a small spaceship head north over the mine, and Hero Hot Dog and Stealthy Hot Dog made an internal note to thank Fyora for teaching them how to ask for directions.

     As their pursuit led them into barren Kreludan wasteland, both heroes finally closed in on the villains' secret base. Resolving to a more direct method, Stealthy Hot Dog shorted out the security pad with relish shuriken, and the two heroes busted into the evil lair. They came upon Villainous Apple and Sloth Dog counting their loot, and as they two villains saw that their base was breached, they exclaimed.

     'How!' cried Villainous Apple. 'You were never supposed to find us here in the middle of nowhere! Unless... you did the unthinkable... you... you couldn't have-'

     '-asked for directions', replied Hero Hot Dog, his cape billowing majestically in a non-existent wind. He had also somehow managed to position a light to shine behind him. If Stealthy Hot Dog had eyes, he would have rolled them.

     The two criminals cowered together, and in their terror, they scrambled for a lever. Suddenly, a trap opened and a pool of snapping Pfish appeared. As they jumped around the two heroes, the villains made their escape. The heroes couldn't lose their targets another time, and got to work quickly.


     Mustard-laser straight into a Pfish's mouth.


     A relish shuriken took three Pfish in one go.

     As the heroes made light work of the snapping petpets, they pursued the villains through their lair. As they got closer and closer and...


     The heroes heard a shriek of terror, and as they approached the exit to the base they saw... the Space Faerie! Was she alright? Was she hurt? But no, the Space Faerie was more than fine. She had made light work of Sloth Dog, who was now no more than some crumbs near her feet. The Villainous Apple was now just an apple core, and the Space Faerie finished him off with her laser gun.

     'Eurgh', thought both of our Hot Dog Heroes.

     'Ah, that hit the spot', said the Space Faerie. 'Now, where are the villains?'

     '...you just ate them', said Stealthy Hot Dog flatly.

     'Oh right, no wonder this base was so much smaller than I thought it would be. Well, sorry to steal your thunder. You two want a lift back to Hero HQ?'

     Our two Hot Dogs duly accepted, and climbed into the passenger seat of her spaceship, which they shared.

     'By the way, how did you find the base?' asked Hero Hot Dog, as the spaceship set off for Neopia.

     'Isn't it obvious? I asked for directions.'

     To the Space Faerie's bafflement, Hero Hot Dog and Stealthy Hot Dog exchanged a muffled giggle.

The End

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Life is a Playground - Battle Time II!
Free-For-All in the Frost Arena

by larenchan


Tsewil and the Hero's Path
Rambling along the country lane that traversed his farm, Tsewil the Asparagus Chia shielded his eyes as he scanned the fields.

by peirigill


Making Snow Angels
Whatcha doing?

Also by inoutje

by _starryeyedsurprise_


Uhh, the Marvellous Stretchy Chia?

by ladyailsa

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.