Caution: Quills may be sharp Circulation: 186,839,813 Issue: 511 | 9th day of Gathering, Y13
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The Fabulous Lifestyle of a Neopian Billionaire!


by downrightdude

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Snaw: Hello, Neopia! My name is Snaw McSnaw, the exclusive and sleek reporter who brought you such exciting interviews like “Inside the Land of Jelly” and “I Know What Adam Did Last Summer”. But for today’s interview, I will be interviewing one of Neopia’s most influential billionaires in my newest interview: “The Fabulous Lifestyle of a Stinkin’ Millionaire!”

*points to giant mansion behind self*

Snaw: I am just moments away from interviewing one of the wealthiest Neopians in existence! This person is apparently SO rich that even our beloved TNT *coughs* comes here to receive their paychecks. Now I know what all of you at home are wondering: How did this person become a Billionaire? Did they gamble with the Stock Market, did they gamble with the Scores Galore event, or did they just gamble? We will soon find out. *knocks on front door*

Shae: *opens door* Snaw? Are you home already?

Snaw: *whispers* Shhhh! *pulls out notebook and pen* Now... you. Is it true that you really ARE one of THE wealthiest people that Neopia has ever seen? *whispers* Play along!

Shae: *is confused* But Snaw, I thought you were getting the milk? Did you get sidetracked by another lampshade again? *grabs Snaw's shoulders and begins to shake* WAS IT SPARKLY!?!?!

Snaw: Oh please, madam. I’ve never seen you in my while life! *winks* Now please, for the sake of our readers, would you mind if I ask you some questions about your fabulously stinkin’ lifestyle?

Shae: Oh sure. *winks back* so what would you like to know, mysterious reporter that I’ve never seen or lived with before and who is obviously not my twin sibling?

Snaw: Well, I think what I would really be fascinated by is an in-depth description as to how you, and not me, became a billionaire. I think I and everybody else in Neopia would be fascinated by your ‘rags to riches’ story, especially if it involves any type of rags.

Shae: Ummm, well, one thing to know for sure is that I was never poor. I was never really raised up with any ‘rags’, but was from a small middle class family who did not include you, our mother, or any of our other relatives that are highly successful with their different businesses that I do, in fact, own.

Snaw: *jots notes* I see. And when did you buy your family’s businesses?

Shae: *rubs chin* I believe it was this morning. *picks up tea pot* Tea? I also made those little chocolate chip muffins that you love-

Snaw: No, thank you, madam. So now that we know a little bit about your ‘no rags to riches’ story, I was hoping that you would tell Neopia how you did earn your enormous fortune. Did you invest in the Stock Market?

Shae: Oh no. I think the Stock Market is too risky for any kind of investing, *sips tea*

Snaw: Ahhh. So how about games? Did you play games?

Shae: Nope.

Snaw: Restock?

Shae: Nope.

Snaw: Play Tombola- Oh, what am I saying? You can’t get rich from Tombola!!

Shae: *nods in agreement* *sips tea again*

Snaw: So how did you get your giant fortune? I’m sure it would be a lot more original than those other millionaires that restock, play games, and sell their rare Usuki dolls I eventually buy from them for twice the money!

Shae: You mean that Emerald Queen one you bought this morning from-

Snaw: SHHH!! Now madam, care to explain your story?

Shae: Certainly. It all began a few months ago at a family reunion. Yo- I mean somebody else that isn’t you and I were happily playing with our plushies when a thought came to my mind. That thought had come that one of my not so wealthy uncles brought a TNT stick with him. Why? I do not know. But one thing is for certain; that little dynamite stick gave me an idea.

Snaw: And what is this idea that I was not involved in?

Shae: My idea was to open up my own TNT factory!

Snaw: Fantastic! *scribbles on page* which one?

Shae: It’s not important. But what IS important is that TNT (Originally known as ‘Theneopetsteam’) came to me one day and offered to buy my whole company and the legal name ‘TNT’. I didn’t know why they liked the name, but I decided to sell it to them for 5.6 billion neopoints. I then used my money to buy the Wishing Well, which is conveniently located above my underground laundry room.

Snaw: How ingenious of you! *quickly draws a flower in notepad* so how has your life changed since that fateful day that I do not remember?

Shae: Well, I currently own our only Stock Market and its many companies, and I also own the NC Mall and the Money Tree. I have also bought 97% of Neopia’s stores, except the Food Shop for some reason, and I also control when my stores restock and what they sell as well.

Snaw: *wakes up* Hmm? Oh, well, I’m sure everybody else is dying to know how many Draiks you own! Is it still twelve?

Shae: I actually have SO many Draiks that I had to send them all to my private Brightvalian castle in Meridell. I’m the only one in Neopia who actually has such a thing! I also own one of every three Draiks created!

Snaw: Fabulous! And may I be the first to say that you are truly an inspiration to everybody in Neopia. Unlike the many lazy rich people who restock and play games, you actually go the extra mile by creating your very own company and selling it to TNT! And may I also say that ‘TNT’ is much more catchy than that long, confusing name they had before.

Shae: Thank you, Sn-

*hears front door slams shut*

Voice: *is surprised* SHAE? SNAW??? What are you two doing in MY HOUSE!?!?

Snaw: *gasps* Lombre! I mean... uhh, a burglar! Yes, a burglar! *whispers loudly* what are you doing here?? I thought you were still on vacation!

Lombre: I was only going away for one day! *looks at Shae* Why are you wearing my bathrobe?

Shae: What bathrobe? I’m not wearing a bathrobe, Lombre. *waves hands in front of you* It’s an illusion, Lombre. Oooooooooh!!! It’s just your imagination acting up again. Oooooooooh!!

Snaw: *sighs* Come on, Shae. I think he’s already onto us, as usual.

Shae: Fine. Oh, by the way, Lombre, I rigged your house with some ‘dynamite’. *points to dynamite sticks on the walls and ceiling* Took me fifteen minutes to set it up... *grabs Snaw’s wrist* RUN, SNAW, RUN!!!

*jumps out of the exploding house with Shae and Lombre*

Snaw: Well, here you have it, Neopia! The fabulous life of a stinkin’ millionaire... who is now homeless for unknown reasons. Join us next week when I interview two former Beauty Contest winners in “Beauty or Betrayal?” Good night! *hears another explosion in distance* SHAE!

Shae: Sorry. Force of habit.

 
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