Sanity is forbidden Circulation: 175,667,379 Issue: 358 | 5th day of Gathering, Y10
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Rulers of Neopia


by kotaeia

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Fyora sat at the counter in the Hidden Tower, watching as rich pets and owners browsed through the items. The majority of them simply walked around the displays and groaned at the prices, but some of them immediately grabbed an item, rushed over to pay for it, and dashed out of the place as if the Pant Devil was chasing after them. There was even the occasional person that tried to steal an item!

      As if I wouldn't notice! the Faerie Queen thought angrily. She smiled sweetly as an owner, glancing frantically left and right, slipped 600,000 Neopoints on the counter and bolted out of the Hidden Tower with a Baby Paintbrush hidden under her coat. As soon as the customer was gone, Fyora retreated back into her mind to resume her interrupted thoughts.

     The thieves of the Hidden Tower. Only the most inexperienced burglar would even think about stealing from the Faerie Queen's shop. The best thieves in Neopia knew that all of the Hidden Tower's items had a dark magic spell on them and that the invisibility spell on the Hidden Tower also included a shield spell made from light magic. Naturally enough, anything of dark magic that attempted to pass through the light shield would not be able to pass through. In this way, both thieves and those with malicious intent were unable to enter or leave the Hidden Tower. Fyora removed the dark spell on an item when it was bought, but stolen items could not leave her store.

     "I want all of these things for my gallery; hurry up about it," a rather rude customer announced. Fyora glanced at the Faerie Fog, Faerie Queen Doll, Faerie Tabard, Fyora the Faerie Queen trading card, Glittery Faerie Dust, Jhudora the Dark Faerie Doll, Jhudora's Bewitched Ring, Jhudora's Crystal Ball, Rainbow Fountain Faerie Doll, Reject Faerie Queen Doll, Snow Faerie Doll, and Supreme Deluxe Faerie Queen Doll before replying, "That will be 49,650,000 Neopoints, please."

     "WHAT?!" the enraged Neopian cried. "That's OUTRAGEOUS! I calculated the answer myself! The answer is 5,000 NP, and since I happen to be the Math Professor at a very well known college, your word on my adding skills means nothing!" Smugly, the professor dropped 5,000 Neopoints on the Faerie Queen's desk and walked out the door with a smirk on his face.

     Or, at least, he tried to. Considering the amount of dark magic that the professor was attempting to bring out, the light magic shield hurled the greedy man to the opposite wall. The items themselves were unharmed, but the same could not be said for the math professor. He was out cold. Fyora snickered at the man before waving her hand and returning the items to their rightful places. With another wave of her hand, the man was transported to Jhudora's Cloud. Let the trouble-making Dark Faerie deal with a greedy man like him.

     The Faerie Queen sighed again. Nowadays, lots of her customers were like that man. Greedy, pushy people who cared more for the size of their gallery and the amount of Neopoints in their bank rather than the happiness of their limited edition, painted pets. Of course, the people in the old days of Neopia hadn't been much better. There were simply more people in Neopia these days. And the majority of these people were rich and on the snobby side. Fyora wished that she could at least get rid of the greediest people in Neopia.

     Suddenly, a great idea struck the Faerie Queen in the head like a meteorite. She wouldn't even have to lie! She would only have to... fib a little. Fyora grinned gleefully. Wanting to discuss it with the other Faeries as soon as possible, the Faerie Queen put her assistant, a Faerie Aisha, in charge of the desk before rushing out of the tower, calling the Faerie Council to the Palace while she dashed there herself.

      ***

     Yainae, a particularly rich, greedy, and snobby person, was sitting at the kitchen table and plotting how else to show off and get richer.

     "Hmmm," he thought. "I already have a Faerie Krawk, Darigan Draik, Island Lutari, and Royal Koi, I have a gallery of all the items known to Neopia, I have a trophy collection bigger than Roo Island, my mansion is larger than Happy Valley, I have all the most expensive furniture sets, each of my pets has won the Beauty Contest a couple hundred times... what else can I do?"

     Just then, Yainae spotted an ad on the copy of the Neopian Times her Draik had been reading. The print read in bold type, "FYORA ANNOUNCES RACE FOR RULER(S) OF NEOPIA! ANY OWNER OR PET ELIGIBLE! SIGN-UPS AT THE FAERIELAND PALACE TODAY!"

     The greedy owner smiled, then got up from his chair. Faerieland Palace was waiting for him.

      ***

     Myana was a Green Gnorbu who lived on the streets. Long ago, she had escaped from the Pound and had since learned how to survive. Myana was extremely vain, though. The Gnorbu regularly stole from the Grooming Parlour, and no one ever realized that she had no owner. There were many pets who lived on the streets of Neopia Central, and every single one of those other pets despised Myana with their heart and soul. The Green Gnorbu boasted constantly about how she was "so much better than you street filth". Myana had somehow managed to convince an owner to let her sleep in his Neohome. To the owner, the Gnorbu was sweet and kind. To the street pets, Myana was snobby and greedy, always striving to get more so she could boast more.

     Thus, it was no surprise how the Gnorbu reacted when she glimpsed Fyora's ad. Obviously, Ruler of Neopia = instant rise in boasting material. Myana dashed off to the Faerieland Transportation Agency. Nothing was more important than getting to Faerieland Palace right now.

      ***

     IvyLiana sighed. Another day spent alone in her humongous Neohome with nothing to do. Sure, her Neohome had over fifty rooms all built out of Transparishield, gazillions of books and toys, and a complete collection of instruments, but there was a strict rule pounded into Ivy's head by her owner: Look, don't touch.

     The Desert Aisha sighed again. At the moment, her owner, Annamia, was out signing up for some contest the Faerie Queen had set up; something about Rulers of Neopia. Ivy saw nothing interesting about being some piece of wood or plastic used to make straight lines, but Annamia had been ecstatic. She'd rushed out the door before the Aisha could say, "Breakfast". And that was exactly what Ivy needed. Of course, the refrigerator was stocked with only the best and most expensive foods out there, but again: Look, don't touch.

     Suddenly, Ivy realized something. She was alone in a gigantic Neohome with no one watching. Grinning, the Aisha planned how her day would go. After breakfast, she would start on playing with all the toys that Annamia owned. Lunch would come, and next would be the books.

      Annamia, please take days up there in Faerieland, Ivy thought. She stalked off to the kitchen.

      ***

     Giovannen was a talented musician. He played saxophone, flute, piano, guitar, drums, trumpet, trombone, and triangle. His music was so popular, he had ninety seven fan clubs, all of which served to enlarge his already enormous head.

     The Royal Moehog had it in mind that no one in Neopia disliked his music. He was rich, after all, and who hates a rich person? Giovannen laughed.

     Abruptly, the Moehog stopped laughing and frowned. Ninety seven fan clubs were not enough. He needed more, more, MORE!!!!! The question was, how to get more?

     Giovannen leafed through the Neopian Times, searching for inspiration. How to get more... ah! "A RACE FOR THE RULER OF NEOPIA!" the musician shouted. "It's perfect!"

     The Royal Moehog waded through a sea of fan mail and raced out the door of the private studio in his seventy-five room Neohome. The Palace was calling.

      ***

     A Grundo burst into Sloth's office, frantically waving a newspaper. Sloth looked up from whatever he was doing, glanced at the paper, then returned to whatever he was doing.

     "Official things like races are SO overrated," the evil doctor muttered to himself. He waved for the Grundo to leave. "It takes all the fun out of ruling Neopia. The Faerie Queen must be crazy. OH WAIT! SHE IS! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

     The insane laughter of Dr. Sloth echoed through the hard steel room floating in space.

      ***

     Fyora frowned at the large crowd of people and pets that had congregated outside Faerieland Palace. The Faerie Queen had been watching from her window as the number of pets waiting for the sign-ups had grown from a line to a large mob. She hadn't realized that there were so many people who were so GREEDY! The Faerie Queen's frown deepened when she saw a few pets threatening to riot if the sign-ups didn't begin immediately. Greedy and impatient! Fyora flew down from her window to calm things down.

     The people and pets in the almost-riot quieted instantly when they saw the Faerie Queen arrive. Fyora glared at each and every single person in the crowd before speaking.

     "Is there any person present who is here simply because they want to make Neopia a better place?" the Faerie Queen called out. No one in the mass of people and pets stirred. "Then I am correct in assuming that only the greediest would even consider ruling Neopia for a reason other than for personal gain.

     "As said in my advertisement, you shall all become rulers of Neopia!" Fyora grinned wickedly as she cast the spell. A few pets who were particularly intelligent realized that something terrible was about to happen. They attempted to run, but there was no escape. A bright lavender glow surrounded the congregation of people and pets, and then there was a loud popping sound. The whole front of Faerieland Palace was hidden in purple smoke. A passing Air Faerie blew away the smoke with a gust of wind, and the shopkeeper of the School Supplies Shop was very pleased.

     Fyora had spoken the truth: Every person who had come to sign up was now a ruler of Neopia.

The End

 
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