teh 1337est n00zpaper Circulation: 111,625,219 Issue: 222 | 6th day of Sleeping, Y8
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Sleeping Beauty: Part One

by ruff_zette


My name is Beauty_Queen571. I am a Uni. And, as you may have guessed, a beautiful Uni. And not just beautiful - the most beautiful pet in Faerieland. ACTUALLY, the most beautiful pet in the whole of Neopia!

     My owner is very lucky. You see, I get lots of money from all the Beauty Contests I win. I have actually won so many that they are considering not letting me enter anymore! (It doesn't give any of the other pets a chance.) Although I do doubt they will actually do this. There is another Contest soon and I'm sure they will let me enter. I also get lots of money from modelling the NeoGlo cosmetics.

     I get so much Neomail from all my fans that I don't know what to do! It is fantastic getting all that mail. So many young pets want to be me - and I don't blame them! I have the perfect life…

     * * * * *


     My eyes flew open. I was lying in my bed. My average-sized bed in my average-sized room in my average-sized house in the Lost Desert on a Sunday - my least favourite day of the week. I could see all my posters of the Grooming Parlour and Unis' Clothing people all over my walls.

     "Oh no, not again!" Dreaming. Again. I hauled myself out of bed and heaved myself over to my pink vanity desk. I squinted at the mirror. Yes, I was still the ugly, purple Uni I had been when I'd gone to bed. I had those orange splodges on my cheeks. "Why am I ugly?" I asked myself. I think it was a curse. Mum had to give me a name like 'Beauty_Queen', so naturally, in that annoyingly ironic way that nature did things, I had been born ugly.

     "Beauty?" Speak of the devil. "Beauty, love, we're going to the beach in an hour, so you'd better be ready or we'll leave you behind." Why do parents always just barge into your room like there's no such thing as privacy? She turned and walked out (thank Fyora) and left me to my pondering.

     I wandered out of my room and dragged myself to the bathroom. It seemed so far away. Why did I have to cross the corridor to get there? Why didn't I have an en-suite?

     "Why do you look so dead?" Princess_Sparkle941 the royal Gelert gaped at me as I passed. Stupid little sister. I'm not a morning pet. So what?

     "Leave me alone, Sparkle," I muttered. "I am not in the mood. Out of my way." I pushed past her, but she kept gawking at me. You'd think I was a zombie or something. I forced open the bathroom door and practically crawled into the shower.

     The spray of hot water hit me and woke me up instantly. And whenever I properly wake up, I remember my dreams. I dream the same thing every single night, and have been for my whole life. I dream that I am the beautiful, elegant Uni that I have always wanted to be. But it is my opinion that dreams do not come true.

     After washing my hair (why doesn't Mum buy the proper NeoGlo shampoo?) I got out of the shower and headed downstairs to have breakfast. Hmmmm… regular Neocrunch or Choco Neocrunch? In the end I just had toast with butter.

     I sat down at the table to eat. Princess_Sparkle was trying to stuff her entire plushie collection into her Earth Faerie backpack. We all had Faerie backpacks. I don't know why, seeing as we didn't live in Faerieland. I decided that the Earth backpack suited Sparkle - it was what her head was full of.

     My older sister, Princess_Honey62 suddenly came slipping down the stairs like an angel through the air. She was a Faerie Peophin and she was beautiful. Her mane was bouncing around her face. She flashed a dazzling smile. "Mum's just getting changed. She says to pack your things so we can leave." She turned and headed back up to her room.

     I loathed her. She was gorgeous. Princess_Sparkle was gorgeous. And I was just so incredibly ugly. Aren't Unis supposed to be beautiful? Maybe there was something wrong with me. Maybe I was sick.

     I wandered back up to my bedroom and sat down at my vanity desk. It was completely covered with makeup. Eyeshadow, blush, lipstick, nail varnish… And not because I had been given lots of freebies for modelling for their company. Oh no. I had spent my own money on buying these things to try and make myself beautiful.

     I carefully loaded my tan blush, sky-blue eyeshadow, pink lipstick, blue nailpolish, sparkly hairbrush, fragrant soap and sunscreen into my Fire Faerie backpack. I had a fair bit of trouble fitting my towel in as well, but I managed.

     "Okay, time to go!" Mum was yelling from the kitchen. I grabbed my backpack and sprinted down the stairs. Honey and Sparkle were already waiting out in front. Mum looked impatient. "Beauty, we cannot wait all day for you. Why does your bag look so full? Oh, never mind." She shut the door behind us and we set off.

     * * * * *

     It was a beautiful day for the beach. It was a terrible day for walking. It is a long way from the Lost Desert to Mystery Island, I'm telling you! We walked all the way to Neopia Central and from there we caught a ferry to Mystery Island. It took us about 4 hours.

     We arrived at Mystery Island at about 12:00 midday. "Who wants lunch?" Mum asked. A cheer rose from us three pets. "Good!" Mum laughed. "Because I'm starved!" So we all walked (again) from the harbour to the food store. "Okay, take your pick!"

     We all stared at the fascinating foods. We stood gaping at strange fruits and peculiar seafood for half an hour. In the end, hunger overtook us and we ordered. We got a Funnydew melon for Honey, a Cocoa Juppie for Sparkle, a Harffel fruit for Mum and an Elppa for me.

     We all set off to the beach to eat our lunch. When we finished eating we all settled down for a rest (we were exhausted). Princess_Sparkle started up a game with her plushies, Mum fell asleep and Princess_Honey read 'Poetry for Peophins'. I went through my makeup and started putting on all the things I thought would make me look better (in other words, all of it).

     After a half hour of resting, we decided it was time for a swim. We all rushed down to the water and splashed around. We had races, and Mum judged the winners. After the races, we all just drifted around for a while.

     I was paddling out, trying to see how far I could swim, when I noticed something. A shadow Lupe was staring at me. At ME! I was just about to smile at him and maybe even wave when I realised something. He probably wasn't staring at me. He was probably staring at Honey. I almost burst into tears.

     And then I did.

     I swam back to shore and ran up the beach crying. I grabbed my towel and my bag and ran all the way to the harbour. I sat and watched my tears roll into the water. A few pets stopped and looked at me, and one kind Cybunny even came up and asked if I was alright.

     Eventually Mum, Honey and Sparkle came and found me sitting there on the pier. We caught the next ferry that came by. Mum asked very nicely if he could take us to the Lost Desert instead of Neopia Central. He took one look at the sobbing purple heap that was me and agreed straight away.

     We got home at about 3:00 in the afternoon. I ran straight up to my room and stared at myself in the mirror. My makeup was smeared all over my face. I was even uglier than before. I wondered how long it had been like that. All day? "Oh no!" I burst into tears all over again and collapsed on my bed. I pounded my hooves on the mattress and screamed. I shrieked and writhed around on the bed until I rolled down to the floor. "Why am I so ugly? Why? Why? WHY?"

     I cried even more. It was awful.

     My mother crept into the room. "Beauty? Beauty, are you okay?" She looked anxious but I just screamed and through my pillow at her. She ducked and the pillow hit Sparkle instead, who was standing behind her.

     "I am not okay! I'm the ugliest pet in Neopia!" I cried into the carpet and kicked my back hooves.

     "No, you're not," Sparkle said sympathetically. "You're not as ugly as a Skeith."

     Anyone who plans to use that to comfort someone who thinks they're ugly - DON'T. IT DOES NOT WORK. I slammed the door on them and collapsed crying again. Somebody knocked on the door. "Leave me alone!" I shrieked. "Stay away!"

     I am pretty sure they had dinner without me. No-one came and told me they were eating. Maybe they didn't eat. I don't know. I just cried for what seemed like years. I had never felt worse. I wished I was beautiful. Or even pretty.

     I willed myself not to go to sleep. Not to see the Uni I wished I was. But I suppose I eventually did. I must have.

     Unless you can dream without sleeping.

To be continued...

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