Hey, Slothy! Why have you been so quiet? Have you run out insults against me?
Are you finally realizing that you’re losing the battle? Honey, it’s about time!
Now really, Slothy, I figured you would put up more of a fight than this. I am
quite disappointed, with all I’ve heard of you I figured it would be a challenge
but it turns out I beat you without breaking a sweat. Well, Slothy I am waiting
and if I am victor I will be able to tell by your silence. If you don’t want this
sweet, little Shoyru to claim victory then, I suggest you get off your lazy bum
and write an article. It’s down to the seventh inning stretch, what are you going
to do Slothy? Are you going to step up to the plate or just forfeit the match?
Have you ever thought about interviewing Sloth? If you did, you could tell
him how to dress properly, get his thoughts on Borovan, and maybe have a debate.
It might make for an interesting article.
-An Amused Neopian Times Reader
Dear An Amused Neopian Times Reader:
I regret to say that I’d never do an interview with Sloth. This is simply because
I am not good at conducting interviews, I prefer to give advice. My brother,
Kudio loves to do interviews though. I’ll put your suggestion through to my
brother and see what he can cook up.
My sister went to the Lab Ray and today she came back as the same colour and
species as me! Now, she runs around pretending to be me. How can I get her to
stop or get people to recognize that it is her?
Since she is you, why don’t you be her? Fight fire with fire until she surrenders
and goes back to being herself or the next lap ray zap. Then, she’ll be her
and you can be you again.
There was this apple in a plastic bag and it was all oozy and goosy. So I opened
the plastic bag and put the juicy, oozy and goosy apple into the toilet. I flushed
the toilet, but then all of a sudden, the water got higher and the bathroom
was flooding! I quickly ran out of the bathroom and closed the door. Now I can't
use the bathroom! What do I do!?
-Ms. Help Me
Dear Ms. Help Me:
You need to find a plunger to unclog the toilet. If that is not available,
you need to find your owner and tell them what happened. Your owner might have
a brilliant suggestion on how to fix the bathroom, if not they can contact a
plumber. You’ll probably get in super trouble for flushing foreign objects down
the toilet but it’s better than turning your bathroom into a gross swimming
pool. For future reference, it’s never a good idea to flush anything foreign
down the toilet.
In your last article you said, “That’s all of my immediate family; we’ll
save extended family until next week. That is if you really want to know."
We do want to know, please tell!
-Bob of Krawk Island
Dear Bob of Krawk Island:
First of all, your pseudonym is great. It’s original, yet simple. Now to business,
my extended family is an aunt and a cousin. My owner, roxycaligirl101’s sister
is a teenager named Kayla. She’s older than my owner. Aunt Kayla enjoys painting
and drawing, she plans to attend Lost Desert University on an art scholarship.
My cousin is a green Yurble named Charlie. Charlie is very artsy, too. She enjoys
art as much as Aunt Kayla but the problem is that Charlie lets her school work
suffer because she spends too much time with art. While Aunt Kayla knows the
balance between the two fields. Literally, that’s a whole another story. I do
have a bunch of “cousins” and “aunts” I’m not actually related to but we are
all just so close, we treat them like family. I'll talk about them next week,
if anyone is curious to know.
I have a baby Eyrie who thinks he's all that and a bag of chips. Please tell
me -- what kind of chips?
- In Need Of A Brand Name
Dear In Need Of A Brand Name:
He definitely sounds like Fajita Chips.
I am a white Kougra, but my dream is to become a Faerie. The only problem is
my owner won't let me be painted again! How can I convince her to paint me?
- I Do Believe In Faeries
Dear I Do Believe In Faeries:
You see state an argument on why it is beneficial to have a Neopet painted
Faerie in the family. Make a list of pros to present to your owner and she’ll
be begging you to be painted Faerie. I am not Faerie myself so I asked my sister,
Queenie, to present some of the benefits of being painted Faerie that you can
use in your argument. Just remember it’s not changing the color of fur to make
you prettier, it’s an investment.
1- You can fly every where. No more pesky boat rides or hiring an Eyrie to
take you to Faerieland. Think of all the NP you’ll save with your new wings.
2- You could transport your owner to far away places like Krawk Island. This
would save your owner major Neopoints on the normal transportation costs.
3- Speed! Faeries are some of the fastest Neopets around, so you could enter
a race and win cash prizes. A good investment for your owner because you’d get
to learn the art of competition, how to be a good sport and walk away with a
little bit of Neopoints and a couple awards.
4- You’d become one of the most beautiful pets in Neopia. So, if you ever decided
you wanted to enter a Beauty Contest, you’d have a better chance of winning
than if you were painted a plain color.
5- It’s the second best paint brush, next to Striped.
6- According to my sister, it’s a known fact that being painted Faerie raises
your IQ by three points….I might have to check that one; I’ve never heard such
That’s just a few but I am sure you’ll be able to thing of tons more. Good
luck and remember to present a good sound argument and you should be soaring
like a Faerie in no time.
Would you, roxycaligirl101, and her other pets like to star in my story that
I'll be writing?
-Wandering Story Maker
Dear Wandering Story Maker:
I am sorry but I must decline. Roxycaligirl101 has plenty of plans to write
about us and she wouldn’t any of the stories to contradict each other. Thanks
for the offer though.
I am a Ghost Shoyru and my ghostly outline is a little bigger than normal.
I guess my paintbrush had a few extra bristles. Anyways, when I go to my friends,
they don’t know it's me! They think I'm evil like the Ghost Lupe or Pant Devil!
I really want to be painted ghost, but I also want to have friends! What should
-An Evil But Cute Shoyru
Dear An Evil But Cute Shoyru:
If you are evil, then why do you mind that your friends think you are? They
are only seeing the truth. I suggest you that you find some evil friends. I
heard Slothy has a lot of free time on his hands due to his defeat. I bet he’d
love to a have Mocha with you.
Why do you like Shoyrus so much?
Dear Just Wondering:
Maybe because I am Shoyru! There isn’t anything with a little species pride,
Do you like dung?
- Dung Loving Petpet
Dear Dung Loving Petpet:
I am not a dung fan, sorry! Just make sure not to tell roxycaligirl101’s friend,
matterbug_adoption! That’s some information; I doubt he’d want to hear.
I have two baby pets who are really starting to scare me. One of them is obsessed
with his plans for world domination, and my other one seems to be extremely
apathetic about everything. Is there anything I can do?
Dear Sincerely Scared:
I wouldn’t worry too much about the one who wants to take over the world. After
all, Slothy has been obsessed with world domination forever and he’s hardly
a threat. I think I’d be more scared of a Snorkle to be honest than Slothy.
In addition, my Angelpuss, Troxy has suddenly become fascinated with plans of
world domination due to some influence from her new friend, Frank. I hardly
doubt that anything will come of that, Troxy is too stubborn and dramatic to
take over the world. I highly doubt your pet has the abilities to conquer Neopia.
It’s a phase, I am sure he’ll just grow out of it or he’ll spend the rest of
his life like Dr. Frank Sloth picking fights with adorable Shoyrus and losing.
As for the apathetic one, this is one serious problem. You need to buy him a
Happiness Negg ASAP and get a smile on his face.
Many Neopets at my school won’t be my friend because I am a Uni. They think
I'm stuck up and think of nobody but my self! What should I do?
-A Very Sad Uni
Dear A Very Sad Uni:
Stereotypes are so ridiculous. I think Neopia would be such a better place
without them. You just need to be yourself and Neopets will come to you. If
you are impatient and don’t want to wait, go out of your way to prove that you
aren’t a stereotype. Do something super nice and unselfish to prove that you
don’t think of just yourself but others. Give out sincere compliment others
to show you aren’t a snob. There isn’t really much you can do because stereotypes
will always be around despite, the fact they are simply ludicrous.
To submit your question/problem to be answered by Roxy, simply send a Neomail
to roxycaligirl101. All messages must be appropriate with proper spelling and
grammar. Please put the subject as "Dear Roxy." Inappropriate, tasteless, and
repeated messages will be deleted, so please don’t waste your and my time. Please
don't send problems that have already been solved by Roxy. Due to an overwhelming
amount of messages, Roxy cannot answer all the messages. All messages are subjected
to editing and can be published. So don't submit something if you don't want
to see it in the Neopian Times.
Author’s Advice: Please always wear sun block or sun screen when going
outside during the summer!