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Neopedia : The Chia Clown

Name : Chia Clown
Age : 6
Occupation : Um, he's a clown
Hobbies : Singing happy songs, making balloon animals
and turning frowns upside down
Favourite Possession : squirting flower
Quote : "Yes, this is my real nose... HONK HONK!"

"I really don't get tired of the jokes," the Chia Clown says, applying some greasepaint to his round face. "What good is being a clown if you can't even laugh at yourself? No good at all I tell you. Over the years, I think my favourite joke has to be the one about the two Lupes eating a Chia Clown and one of the Lupes says to the other, 'Does this taste funny to you?'. That one never gets old. But hey, I probably deserve every one of these jokes about me since I've tortured many a folk with one or two of my not-so-good acts. Maybe it's more like one or two hundred failed acts, but who's counting? I remember my worst act like it was yesterday..."

I had just used what was left of my brawn to convince the owner of Theme Park Entertainers Guild that I was going to put on the biggest, silliest, clown act that Neopia had ever seen in years. Secrecy was a must or my act would surely fail. I walked out to centre stage and sat at a lone table facing the audience. For the next thirty minutes I had my back to the crowd and was nervously fumbling around with a small piece of rope. The audience sat and waited patiently, until most of the pets started squirming in their seats, and saying things to each other like, "You said this was going to be fun. But it's not."

The crowd is knot happy at all.

Other comments could be heard like, "Shhhh, stay seated, he's doing something, and when he's done it will be wickedly fantastic." I knew everyone was getting bored, so I quickened my pace, continuing to hide the rope from the crowd. I spun and tied and spun and tied and tied and spun and everyone was still trying to figure out exactly what I was doing. Then I jumped from my chair and yelled, "Tada! Behold, I have given you the first triple monkey fist dolly knot ever to be tied in front of a live audience! Thank you! Thank you! You are all very lucky to have witnessed this... thank you for coming! HONK HONK!"

The audience loudly booed and hissed, and I was yanked off the stage by a group of Nimmo mimes. I gave the audience a big smile, but they threw rubbish onto the stage. Then, just as I was placed in a barrel and rolled down a hill, it came to me: "It wasn't my act. It was the fact that rope was too small, so they didn't realise that the level of knotmanship was extremely high. For all they knew it was only a second-rate knot. Next time I will use a larger piece of rope, and that will definitely make them laugh."

He's heard them all: "Hey Chia Clown, your feet are so big you could stomp out a forest fire!" and "Hahaha, those aren't shoes on his feet... those are the boxes they came in." He's been teased, chased, poked and laughed at, not to mention a few tomatoes and rotten neggs thrown his way. But, ladies and gentlemen, this is the wonderful world of the Chia Clown, population: one lonely little prankster.