Of Rotten Cheese, Helium Balloons, Wild Birthdays, and Fyora Knows What More!

Caution: These ideas are all very stupid, and I'm really just trying to fill junk in your truck (that's brain, little fellow)! Don't ever follow these instructions! Enjoy!

Aren't birthday parties the most awesome thing that an owner or a pet can ever have? If you said no, go get a brain transplant! If you said yes, congratulations! You're normal! So, maybe you're one of those kind owners who wants to plan the craziest bash that any pet or human could ever have! It could be for a friend, or maybe your beloved pet, but either way, you want this party to be spectacular and wild! =smirks= Hehe, you've come to the right person! From rotten cheese, to helium balloons, to the Weewoo Wegand Welakular ritual, this is gonna' be one of the most crazed out parties that you'll ever experience! And what makes it even better is that it's completely planned by MOI, the extravagant Dr. Blubbeh! MWUHAHAHAHAHA! Let the festivities begin!

Inviting The Dudes and Dudettes

First off, you've got to invite TONS of people and pets for the party! And when I mean tons, I MEAN IT! I want every inch of your home completely covered to the maximum! If your house is small, go for 100. If it's big, go for 200! And for those average-Joe, medium-sized homes, the number is 150! Okay, so you got the numbers all planned out. Now it's time to decide who you're going to invite. Number one rule when it comes to inviting: invite all the wild, mental, and fanatical people and pets you know. That always makes for an interesting shindig. And night owls are a definite plus. You, the dudes, and the dudettes, will be able to party all night long!

Oh, and don't forget to invite the Asparagus Chias!

Stealing…Or Purchasing The Item…Whatever…

Step one has been completed, and all the invitations have been successfully shipped! Now it's time to start purchasing those items that you need! Oh, and don't listen to that crazy inner voice of mine. I wouldn't advice you to steal in a million years! Got that kids? Oh, and stay in school!

Wait, school hasn't been released…

ANYWHO, I find that user's shops have the best items for your party needs. Look for those maniacs who manage the ultimate party stores! They'll have everything that'll satisfy your party needs. Remember to buy square helium balloons, normal balloons (filled with dung, of course), banners that say, "Happy B-Day Loser!", confetti that's as big as boulders, and all the other essentials!

Now, when you're done buying those things, run off to a petpet shop. Find an adorable, fat Weewoo, and try to convince the owner if you can RENT =wink= one! Weird, where did that wink come from? Anyway, you'll find out why you need the Weewoo later on.

Have you completed all the instructions? You have? Awesome! Onto step three!

Decorating Your Junkyard! Or Home For You All You Formal People Out There!

Yay! Now it's time for the fun part! Styling your home! Quickly get out all of your purchases, and begin decorating! Try to toss as much confetti as you can around the house. It'll practically be like a brand new carpet! =Martha Lennert voice= And always make sure that the colours are lively and just plain gorgeous! =back to normal voice= Now, hang the banners around the key areas of the home. That means the entrance, living room, kitchen, and hey! Even the bathrooms! Next, scatter the balloons on top of the confetti. Not too many, though! You don't want people stepping on them and having their shoes covered in dung! Or maybe you do…=shifty eyes=. And of course, you can add all of the tables, and chairs in one area, where everyone will participate in the Juppie Juice sliding contest!

Preparing The Food (Uh-Oh)!

Now let's head off to the kitchen, where we'll be creating some fantastic snacks and munchies for the party guests! First off, always remember to have a large pile of dung when making something. It really adds a nice little bit of flavour to it. Sweet, yet not too sweet! One of my favourite snacks that I love making is putting two Ghost marshmallows on a plate and soaking them with melted rotten cheese! It's so yummy! Another superb delicacy is Feces 'N' Nuts, which is simply putting dozens of fresh, thick nuts in a juicy pile of dung!

There are so many snacks out there that you and your party guests will enjoy eating. Just go investigate at different shops, and find what you like. Also remember to have a good amount of juice and water at the party (don't forget the Juppie Juice), because pets and people do get thirsty, you know.

And the final touch for the party is purchasing or baking the cake! Get a cake that's completely destroyed, and that has mucus as the icing! EWWWWWWWW!!! That's exactly what you'll want the guests to say when they see the horrendous sight!

The Guests Have Arrived! Now It's Time For The The Activities…

The entire house is crowded with your awesome guests, so of course, now it's time to entertain them with a wide range of amusing activities!

There are two main activities that your guests will be participating in: The Weewoo Wegand Welakular ritual, and the Juppie Juice sliding contest! Let's start with the latter one.

Juppie Juice Sliding Contest: This is a relatively simple game that is incredibly fun to play. What you first need to do is spill tons of Juppie Juice on the chosen table. Make sure that it's exceedingly slippery, and that anything you put on it falls right off! When that's completed, find someone's who willing to begin the game. Don't worry, you'll find someone in approximately 1.823 seconds! Now repeat these instructions to everyone who will be in the game: The participant has to be standing five meters away from the end of the table. They have to run towards it, and jump on top of it, where they'll begin sliding across! The participant who gets to the other side of the table the fastest wins a prize! Doesn't the game sound totally rad? It is, and your guests will certainly think so as well!

The Weewoo Wegand Welakular Ritual: This is an ancient ritual that has been practiced for thousands of years, and that is incredibly magical and mystifying. Begin the ritual by creating a fire in the fire pit that you hopefully have. Make sure that the flames are roaring and that you can hear a nice cackling sound. Then, take your Weewoo out of it's cage, and bring it to the fire. Ask for all your guests to encircle themselves around the fire and silently watch. Pluck a few feathers from the Weewoo, and drop them in the fire, gazing at them as they slowly wilt away. Of course, your guests will begin to be frightened, but don't let that stop you! When the feathers are completely burned out, hold the Weewoo in your hands, and bring it closer and closer to the fire.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" the guests will scream.

Okay, unfortunately, everyone will run off, shrieking bloody murder while doing so. And what they really won't know is that all you wanted to do is let the Weewoo blow out the fire, and drink the milkshake that should have magically appeared in the pit! But oh well, guess this party's over.

WHY?! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE OVER SO SOON?!

Because I'm sort of crazy in the head, and should be taken to a mental clinic as quickly as possible. Nah--just joking. Well, I'll let you continue wailing in the night as I head off to my most own totally wild party!

This is Blubblub317 signing for y--

HOST: WHY?!! WHY?!!!!!!

Okay, I don't think it'd be the best idea ending the article with that final line.

Well…HAVE FUN CRYING! =runs off=

A/N: Thankies for reading my article! It was a blast writing it! Comments, comments, and more comments are appreciated!