Dear Roxy: No Longer Accepting Dinner Invitations

No offense, but you need to work on your poetry. You had a good thing going before you kind of fell apart at the end but you're a much better poet than I am. Well, first of all, I am thrilled that you used Stoneman3x and me in the same sentence. He is one great writer and I am honored that you compared us. Second of all, who are you writing for? If you're writing to become famous, than you shouldn't be writing, at all. You need to write for the right reasons because you love doing it or you enjoy making other people happy or think from your work. Thirdly, don't worry about trying to catch up to Stoneman3x; I seriously think that kid is impossible to catch. He is getting very close to two hundred trophies in his case, an amazing record. I'm sure you have a talent of some sort but you just need to practice. I didn't wake up suddenly one day and write well, I had to practice and work at it. Same thing goes with the comics, I never thought I would ever get a comic published but I did. If this is something you really want to do then: just keep on working at it, never stop learning and never give up. If you follow those three important rules then, I see no reason why you couldn't be in The Neopian Times one day. Good luck!

-Roxy

Dear Roxy:

Have you met this Frank kid that Troxy is hanging out with? I have my suspicions; it is really Dr. Frank Sloth.

-A Paranoid Jubjub

Dear A Paranoid Jubjub:

Whoa, I didn't think of that. Now that I think of it, I've never met Frank. I'm just hoping it isn't Dr. Frank Sloth because who could befriend that? By that, I mean Troxy. Gees, no one could be friends with her. She's impossible.

-Roxy

Dear Roxy:

Can you please let Sloth have a turn answering people's questions? I know, you know that sharing is nice. It wouldn't be fair if Sloth didn't have a turn.

-Fair Faellie

Dear Fair Faellie:

Ever hear the saying, "All's fair in love and war?" Well, Sloth and I are in an advice war and anything goes. Besides, I am sorry I'm a little more dedicated to my job than he is. If he took less vacation time, he'd have plenty of time to write his column and come up with a decent plan for world domination.

-Roxy

Dear Roxy:

My brother is bilingual. He loves talking in Tyrannian. Now, he won't talk in anything but Tyrannian. It's getting annoying because I can't speak Tyrannian! What should I do?

-Irritated Ixi

Dear Irritated Ixi:

There are four solutions:
1- You can attempt to learn Tyrannian. Let me tell you, it is not an easy language learn.
2- You can sit down and talk to your brother. Tell him that you want him to stop speaking Tyrannian all the time. That you'd actually like to communicate with him and understand his answers.
3- Play the Copy-Aisha game. If he says something in Tyrannian, you repeat the same thing. Don't stop until he breaks out of Tyrannian junkie mode and talks to you in your native tongue. Warning: This plan can backfire because once he is talking in his native tongue he could start repeating you.
4- Invent your own language or find creative gibberish words. Who needs Tyrannian when you got your own language? If he starts muttering away in Tyrannian bust out your language to fight fire with fire.
Dear Roxy:

Do you know who Chet Flash is?

-Question Air

Dear Question Air:

Of course I do. He came to my birthday party and he got me a card which he cutely signed, "Chet Flash wuz here." That reminds me, I really must Neomail Chet, and we're supposed to do lunch, soon. Thanks for the reminder.

-Roxy

Dear Roxy:

Can thou help me? I cannot stop talking like I live in thou Medieval Times! Art thou out to help me? Please, I beg of you, answer thy question! I thank you muchly.

-Stuck In the Medieval Times

Dear Stuck In the Medieval Times:

Well, go to Neopian Central. People really don't speak Medieval there and hopefully, being around people that talk of this time zone will rub off on you. If that doesn't help, hang out in Meridell. You'll fit in very well there and the cheese is to die for.

-Roxy

Dear Roxy:

I'm planning to get other pet but I don't know what to name her/him. I asked all my Neofriends but some are very lazy and won't answer. The others replied with weird names. I'm bad at naming and I need help.

-Can't Be Named Owner

Dear Can't Be Named Owner:

Well, if you cannot name a Neopet how about you adopt? The Neopets already have names and you can find the perfect friend without having to deal with the troubles of naming. You'll be doing a good deed and saving yourself a lot of trouble. So, go adopt a Neopet, today. There is no downside to adoption.

-Roxy

Dear Roxy:

Why don't you like Angelpi that much? My Angelpuss is very kind and gentle, and helpful!

-A Striped Kacheek With An Angelpuss

Dear A Striped Kacheek With An Angelpuss:

I don't not like Angelpi. I have nothing against them, its just I don't like one certain Angelpuss named Troxy. Her mission is to make my life a living nightmare and take over Neopia. I'm sorry but I don't think I'd be fond of her if she was Puppyblew or a Buzzer. So, it is not the Angelpi; it is this single petpet I don't like.

-Roxy

Dear Roxy:

What do you think of the Island Mystic? I think he's just a right old fraud.

-Island Mystic Hater

Dear Island Mystic Hater: I am actually a fan of the old Island Mystic. I even dedicated an article to him back in Issue 112 called Dear Roxy Forever, during the whole Volcano fiasco. I think that he is a good Kyrii unlike H. I think the Island Mystic would know how to treat a lady right. I don't think he is a fraud at all. You don't really know him. He might be a little rough around the edges and eccentric but he is a nice guy who does his job. He was the reason I pursued a career in the Times. So, thanks Island Mystic!

-Roxy

Dear Roxy:

I am a Chia and the house across from mine lives a Lupe. I think the Lupe wants to have me for lunch! What should I do?

- I Don't Want To Be A Lunch Special

Dear I Don't Want To Be A Lunch Special:

Well, I suggest that you simply run, run fast and away from the Lupe. Don't go outside alone and never be alone with this Lupe. Always have a sibling, a petpet, a non-Lupe (Lupes stick together) neighbor or your owner with you at all times. If the Lupe ever comes near you with a hungry look in your eyes, scream for the Defenders of Neopia and this Lupe'll be in so much trouble, he won't know what hit him. You might want to carry a sandwich with you, too. You can toss it as a distraction for a quick get away. Just be careful and watch your back. You could train for matches to protect yourself but you'd need a very good weapon against the Lupe. He already is twice your size. If you stand your ground you could get him off your back or you could be defeated and become lunch. Running is a much safer option but if you want a gamble or you're feeling lucky, stand your ground. If worse comes to worse, move away to a Lupe free zone. May the Borovan be with you and be careful!

-Roxy

Dear Roxy:

I'm sick of boring old foods. Could you please suggest some of your favorite, but fairly cheap Neopian foods?

-Adventurous Kougra.

Dear Adventurous Kougra:

Well, I always love a good cup of Borovan. Anything with Borovan is always great: Iced Borovan Cake, Borovan Brownies, Borovan Layered Cake, and Borovan Pavlova. What can I say? I'm a Borovan fan!

Dear Roxy:

I can't believe you didn't publish my letter. Why wasn't my question accepted?

-Wondering Whinny

Dear Wondering Whinny:

Well, I have tons and tons of mail to sort through and simply everyone cannot be published in my article. My article would be way too long and it just wouldn't do. I do save quite a few letters for my future issues. Your letter might not be in next week but it could be in the future articles so keep your eyes open. There is always the possibility of hope. I do look at every letter so yours was not missed. I appreciate every letter I receive and if I could I would publish everyone but I simply cannot. There is not enough space in The Neopian Times nor do I have the time. There are a few things that will get your letter an automatic trip to the trash bin:

1-Sending the same message over and over. Flooding my inbox doesn't help your chances of getting in. It is just annoying and hogs up space. I understand accidentally sending it twice but sending the same thing six times in a row just makes me delete them, no matter how good of a letter it was. There is no excuse for flooding so don't do it.

2-Sending in letters that have already been solved. If I've published it once, I am not going to do it again.

Those are the big two no-nos. Most users and reader respect these rules but I figured I'd make them clearer to prevent people from doing it. So, if you want to send me something to me please read the paragraph in bold below.

-Roxy

To submit your question/problem to be answered by Roxy, simply send a Neomail to roxycaligirl101. All messages must be appropriate with proper spelling and grammar. Please put the subject as "Dear Roxy." Inappropriate, tasteless, and repeatedly sent messages will be deleted, so please don't waste your and my time. Please don't send problems that have already been solved by Roxy. Due to an overwhelming amount of messages, Roxy cannot answer all the messages. All messages are subjected to editing and can be published. So, don't submit something if you don't want to see it in the Neopian Times.