One Hundred Reasons Why Sloth is Better then Hannah

Sloth: You got that right!

Mackenzie: So Sloth, the greatest villain ever to walk the face of Neopia, why are you so unhappy that you ripped the heads off of all the Hannah from the Pirate Caves plushies?

Sloth: Why? WHY? My invasion was cancelled due to that stupid Usul Hannah! And so, I Dr. Sloth, have made up a list of one hundred things about why I am so much better then that stupid Usul will ever be!

100. I'm green! Green is the color of Brussels sprouts. Hannah is brown! Brown is the color of Dung!
99. I look like a chicken! An EVIL chicken that is.
98. I am EVIL! So evil, that I would take away asparagus from Adam!
97. I wear a COOL black cloak! Hannah wears that girly dress!
96. I like cheese. Do you like cheese?
95. I have tons of cronies behind me, who does Hannah have?
94. There are one hundred eighty one things written about me in the Neopian Times. There are nine things written about Hannah.
93. Sloth Appreciation Day. Hannah doesn't have her own holiday!
92. My homies agree, I really look good in black, fool!
91. Hannah is scared of pirates! I'm not scared of pirates. Pirates are scared of me!
90. My picture is on a stamp!
89. And lunch boxes.
88. Not to mention the Secret Sloth slushie!
87. Don't forget I have my own themed TCG set!
86. Dirty deeds, done with Hannah!
85. I am the only reason you have the 'I love Sloth' avatar.
84. BOO!
83. Who has a space station? Sloth does! Sloth does!
82. I have an army of killer attack Meepits! Muhahaha!
81. I put up with the Meepits and their constant MEEPS!
80. I LOVE MEEPITS!
79. I created an army, woo whoo! Like no one else! Woo whoo!
78. Hannah has no army, woo whoo! Unlike myself, woo whoo!
76. I make up lyrics based off of songs that get stuck in your head forever and ever and ever and ever and ever...
75. And ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.
74. One last time, ever!
73. MEEP!
72. Snarkie likes me!
71. And Grundos.
70. I have clones!
69. I don't wear frilly dresses, unlike a certain Usul.
68. If you want technology in your Neopian Times story/article/comic, the only place you can have it is in my space station!
67. I don't run into boxes and get hit with arrows.
66. I don't drown the moment I touch water.
65, Nor do I melt when I come in contact with water.
64. You might as well face it, I'm addicted to domination.
63. I made more lyrics!
62. I HATE chatspeak!
61. Hannah says "im lik sooooo kewl!!!11!! im soooo kewl, I get my own plot unlike u!!!111!!!
60. Do you want that chatspeaking Usul in a PLOT?
59. I can make the NT publish things about me and only me!
58. I like eggs!
57. Do you like Weewoos? I like them.
56. I'm too evil for your article, too evil for your article, the way I'm plotting destruction!
55. Hannah is a n00b.
54. Unlike me.
53. Hannah likes to crash parties!
52. Ylana Skyfire is even cooler now that she works for me!
51. Even cooler then Kass.
50. Wow, we're at fifty reasons!
49. I, unlike Hannah, do not scream over something as harmless as a petpetpet!
48. Hannah hates Weewoos!
47. Sloth, Sloth Sloth Sloth! Sloth Sloth Sloth! SLOOOOOTH! Sloth's the man! Going to work! He's got his cape, and ambition! And hoping some day, he might become, ruler of Neopia!
46. Aren't my lyrics great?
45. Some of these songs you probably never heard of.
44. But that's good, Neopia needs better music then Two Gallon Hats.
43. Or Twisted Roses.
42. Or Yes Boy Ice Cream.
41. Hannah doesn't like my Lyrics.
40. Or my space station.
39. Or me.
38. Hannah also hates asparagus.
37. And Meepits.
36. And cheese.
35. In fact Hannah hates everything.
34. Except for treasure.
33. And beauty products.
32. Guess who's back? Back again? Sloth is back! Tell a friend. Sloth is back, Sloth is back, Sloth is back, Sloth is back, Sloth is back, Sloth is back...
31. My lyrics just keep getting better.
30. I should book myself a gig at the Concert Hall.
29. But that would get in the way of taking over Neopia.
28. Ah, well, too bad.
27. And Hannah couldn't get a gig there if her life depended on it.
26. Hannah couldn't get a gig anywhere.
25. Even singing for petpetpets.
24. Besides, I'm more famous then Hannah will ever be.
23. And when I take over Neopia, I will make sure the only music played will be written by me.
22. Every body in the 'Lair gets tips!
21. Ph33r my lyrics!
20. Ph33r me!
19. If I had a choice between Hannah and a Mootix to rule Neopia, I'd pick myself.
18. If I had to choose between Hannah and a pile of Dung to be my second in command, I'd pick the pile of dung.
17. If I had to choose between Hannah and a n00b to be my third in command, I'd pick the n00b.
16. Hannah is really that bad.
15. I picked a n00b over her.
14. This n00b speaks rabid chatspeak too.
13. And makes fun of things that she has no clue about.
12. Like ruling Neopia.
11. I'm going to set the Meepits on Hannah now.
10. Release the Meepits!
9. Hannah: "Ahh the Meepits!"
8. That's better.
7. Meepits are great for taking care of Hannah.
6. Hannah doesn't have any Meepits.
5. Or Weewoos.
4. Or anything whatsoever to take over the world.
3. And she can't sing worth beans.
2. Well I'm Dr. Slothy and yes I'm the real Slothy, and I like lots of coffee when Hannah's irritating, I know you're saying Slothy, please attack Hannah, please Attack Hannah...
1. I AM SO MUCH BETTER THEN HANNAH WILL EVER BE!
Sloth: And that is why I'm better then Hannah.

Mackenzie: But some of those things aren't even reasons.

Sloth: So? You have your article, now ether get out of here NOW or buy my seventy two track CD. It includes nothing but hours of my Lyrics!

I ran quickly from Sloth's lair, not wanting to listen to anymore of his singing.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to Neomail me.