Caution: Quills may be sharp Circulation: 81,645,694 Issue: 153 | 16th day of Hiding, Y6
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Birthday Banditry: Part Three


by apollo_lunar

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“Why does Redshadow have to go with the Draik for the blueprints? Why can’t she just get them by herself? Wouldn’t that be much easier?” Coookie asked, still unfamiliar with the rules of the C.C.

“Because,” Hypoteny sighed irritably, “what if they run into those pesky mutant spyders that the Eyrie lord sent down? Who will beat them up for her? The Lupe accompanies her because that’s his job, a fighter. They sometimes do run into trouble so the fighters protect the bandit. They aren’t always necessary, but they are needed most of the time. I thought you already mastered that concept.”

“But,” asked Coookie again, still not fully comprehending and ignoring her last statement, “can’t Merciless_hacker defend herself?”

“Yes, Coookie. A bandit could also be a decent Battledomer, but bandits still need the assistance of a bodyguard. If the pair happen to be caught in a difficult situation, the fighter would stand and fight or create a diversion, while the burglar flees,” the Blumaroo explained for, oh, probably the third time this week. “I hope that is clear.”

The trainee nodded fervently and said, “Opal.”

“Pardon?” asked Hypoteny while she raised an eyebrow.

This time it was the baby Acara’s time to sigh.

“I said ‘opal.’ You know when pets ask you if you understand? ‘They say: ‘Is that clear?’ Then you would say: ‘Crystal.’ Well, I mean ‘opal clear.’ I’m tired of crystals getting all the fame and stuff.”

The rainbow leader groaned and shook her head as she sat down. No denying it, this pet was just plain weird. Nothing new there.

“So I take it that you still don’t fully understand?” remarked Hypoteny, her patience wearing rapidly.

“Huh?” Typical Coookie response.

“Opals are not that transparent, so- Oh, never mind. So Redshadow comes along. End of story.”

“What story?” Coookie persisted unperturbed.

Hypoteny silently fumed. Once upon a time, she was able to use figurative speech and hyperboles freely. Oh, those were the good old days. But Coookie insists on taking everything literally, which results in his endless confusion and ignorance.

“Okay, Merciless_hacker, you know what to do?” Hypoteny asked, ignoring the neophyte and turning her attention to the Draik.

The info specialist looked up from studying the map and nodded.

“And you, Redshadow?”

Redshadow smirked and bowed before the pretty Draik.

“Your loyal protector, my lady.”

The information specialist rolled her eyes. Someone has been watching too many gallant knight videos. It was either that or he had been defeating too many giant hungry malevolent Chombies or Mootix Warriors, take your pick. Typical Battledomer.

. . .

Slyndar pedaled furiously on his bike. Neohomes were whizzing past. Suddenly, he let his bike skid to an abrupt halt, leaving a black rubber streak on the road. He grinned. All skill. He looked up. There, on the left of him, was 133759 Crunch Avenue.

The neohome was of average size: 3 by 3 with 2 floors. No transparashield, but plenty of brick, chocolate, and jelly rooms. This had no effect on the Shoyru as transparashield was almost impossible to climb, and is fairly difficult to sneak past.

The Shoyru flipped to an empty page in his sketchbook and began to sketch. He first drew the front and side views and, based on that information, sketched the top view. He circled the house, peeking in the windows, labeling the rooms on the ground floor. Bathroom, hall, living room, kit-

Slyndar’s keen eyes noticed something behind the fire bushes. It was something yellow followed by a ghostly shape. They seemed to be circling the lower level as well. He rubbed his eyes and glanced in the same direction where he had seen the figures. They were gone. The shadow pet yawned while trying to keep every sound he made a minimum. He gripped his sketchbook tightly. He had to get more sleep. The Shoyru looked down at his drawings. Slyndar hadn’t labeled the second floor’s rooms, but he wasn’t in the mood for completing his plans. Besides, it was nearly midnight. He didn’t have sufficient time to scale the wall and still arrive home to cram some hours of sleep in. Slyndar enjoyed the darkness, but those two figures spooked him. Who knows what could be lurking behind those fire bushes? He had even brought some weapons for defense just in case, even though he had never been a great Battledomer.

The Shoyru hopped on his bike and raced home. The scenery whizzed past him. Tree, tree, tree, tree, tree. He groaned and felt dizzy. Just as he was about to swear that his legs were going to fall off from fatigue, he was home. Nice timing. He locked away his bike, snuck into his house undetected, and collapsed into his bed. It had been a long day.

. . .

Hypoteny casually called Merciless_hacker and her Lupe protector to the front of the room.

“All gone accordingly, I presume?” she directed the inquiry to the Draik.

The information specialist nodded and handed the leader her expertly sketched blueprints. Labels, dimension lines, front views, side views, it was all there.

The rainbow Blumaroo examined the neat papers with approval.

“Very nice,” she complimented as she looked at them. She looked up to cast the fighter a question.

“Any problems?”

The strong ghost Lupe considered it and answered, “Nope, but we did encounter a shadow Shoyru.”

The Blumaroo’s ears perked ever so slightly. Shadow Shoyru. That sounded familiar. Where has she heard that before?

“Oh, don’t worry, Boss,” added the Lupe as he sensed Hypoteny’s reaction. “He kept to himself and wasn’t any real threat. In fact, I don’t even think he noticed us.”

Hypoteny nodded.

“We’ll discuss this privately some other time, but report to me if you see anything else suspicious. We don’t want our plans to reach the public, which is kind of impossible at the moment for we haven’t began formulating our robbery procedure yet.”

She beckoned the Nimmo adviser and the information specialist for a brief conference.

The whispering, the agreement, the disagreement, the nods, the frowns, the discussion. The bandits and burglars knew this scene all too well. The “counsel” was selecting the pair of pets for the job. All the pets are paid at the end of every two weeks, their salary depending on the profit of those two weeks, but the bandit and fighter that were chosen were usually given a bonus. The rest of the members waited anxiously (except for Coookie, who didn’t understand. He knew better than to interrupt though). Considering the fact that there were only 2 burglars and 2 fighters, there wasn’t much choosing need to be done so the conference ended quickly. (The C.C. are currently recruiting more members. See official site for more details.)

Soon the Nimmo, Draik, and Blumaroo reached a decision.

“Because, this seems mostly a public indoor robbery,” declared Hypoteny, “this could be difficult, not to mention risky. This particular assignment also requires climbing and quick thinking skills, so we suggest that Rainbowflash tackle this job seeing that she specializes in those areas.”

The disco Kacheek nodded, happy to be chosen.

“And take Smirktooth with you. He’s quite excellent at his stuff too,” finished the rainbow leader.

The Jetsam grimly nodded, but not before smirking to his competitor Redshadow.

“I knew I was going to be chosen, mate, ‘cuz I have skill.”

The ghost Lupe merely grunted as a reply, trying to hide his disappointment. Redshadow thought he would have be a shoo-in for the assignment. He was the only pet who could levitate except for Merciless_hacker, but she didn’t count, for she wasn’t a fighter or a bandit.

“Oh, and Coookie?” called Merciless_hacker.

“What?” the baby Acara replied grumpily.

The info specialist gave him a look that reminded him that he need to use respect when speaking to his superiors.

“Uh, I mean-Yes, ma’am?” Coookie answered sullenly. He then muttered, “When I grow up, people will have to bow to me and call me by my title: Coookie the Great. Oh, when I become great-”

“Sure, Coookie, sure,” said the Draik while she rolled her eyes. “When you grow up.”

The other members tried hard to not burst into laughter.

“As I was saying, Coookie, hurry up and finish your lessons so you won’t get behind.”

Coookie grumbled but obliged, still muttering about his “future greatness.”

“O-kay,” said Hypoteny with a hint of a smile. “The planning session will now begin.”

The chosen pets, the leader, the adviser, and the information specialist made their way to the table and studied the prints. The rest of the pets observed in complete silence.

No one spoke. No one laughed.

This was business after all.

Author’s note: All names, characters, flavors of cheeses, places, and incidents are all by-products of the author’s weird imagination. Any uncanny resemblance or namesakes are purely coincidental. That means I made up all the names myself. Feel free to drop me a neomail about how what you thought of this part. Feedback is greatly appreciated.

The C.C doesn’t really exist. So don’t blame them if your chocolate mysteriously disappears. Your pet probably ate it. :)

 
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Other Episodes


» Birthday Banditry: Part One
» Birthday Banditry: Part Two
» Birthday Banditry: Part Four
» Birthday Banditry: Part Five
» Birthday Banditry: Part Six
» Birthday Banditry: Part Seven



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