The Case of the Wand That Wasn't: Part Three

From the case files of kojak_hommes, Lupe Private Eye

Why me? I thought bitterly to myself as I trudged ever closer to the Petpet Shop in Neopia Central. Why must my first-ever professional case be a no-brainer? Sure, I was particularly smart for a Lupe, the kind of smartness I’m talking about not being the sort you can learn from books, but from experience…but this one-or-the-other 50/50 case would try the patience of the Brain Tree! But only before he gave the Esophagor two good meals, I grant you that…

     “Knock, knock?” I growled as politely as I could to mask my bitter impatience. "Anybody there? Or can I go away and while away my time actually enjoying the day?" Stepping into the Petpet Shop, the first thing I noticed was the complete absence of the Petpets themselves. “Sold out again, huh?”

     “Oh, no…they’re all out the back playing with their favourite guy,” the Shopkeeper muttered, looking out over the top of the most recent Issue of the Neopian Times. I could just about read the slanted Front Page...

     (There was an article inside, it said, that would help me play a better game of Pyramids. Fat chance of that happening! Not even Fyora's blessing could improve my game from the sludgy pits of sheer awfulness. Another proclaimed that us Lupes weren't as aloof and stuck-up as we appear to be. Again, yeah right! They are all those things, and more besides! I should know, after all...

     I dunno, these Neopians, not an ounce of sense among them a Meepit would be proud of. Had it ever occurred to even one of them to actually ask a Lupe what it's really like being one? And has whoever wrote that article on improving how you play Pyramids actually ever played the card game in their life? The answer to both these questions, I felt sure of stating, is no.)

     “That would be Sammy the Grundo, right?” I asked half-heartedly, while something nagged at the back of my brain. When I couldn’t pin it down, I added, “Anything good this week?”

     The Aisha seemed to realise that I had been staring at the Front Page for an awful long time, and placed it indignantly flat-out on the counter top, so that I couldn't read anything else. Probably wants me to get my own copy, I though wearily to myself. “Oh, you mean in the Times…?" this he asked with an air of annoyance. "Oh, I guess so…that Really Confused comic is as great as usual, and there are quite a few good articles,” I doubted that very much, if the ones on the Front Page were anything to go by.

     Then it suddenly seemed to hit the Shopkeeper that I had asked for his assistant by name. “Here, how do you know Sammy?” the Aisha asked, putting down the paper and walking slowly around the counter. “Poor guy doesn’t have many friends these days, especially not tough-looking Lupes like you.”

     “I’m not a friend of Sammy’s,” I assured the wary Aisha, walking up to her. “And, believe me, my bark is much worse than my bite – I’m not a fighter. I’m on a…errand from Miss Trixy, the Jubjub? Sammy will know who I mean, he’s something of a regular against her in the Battledome, I hear.”

     “Oh, he’s always on about Miss Trixy!” the Shopkeeper laughed jovially. “It’s always ‘Miss Trixy gone beat me again!’ and ‘If only she didn’t have that Wand of Ultranova on her – then I’d beat her, easy as ever!’ I don’t battle much, so I just let him fuss and fume…oh, you want to talk to him, is that it?”

     “If you can spare him for a minute, please,” I replied graciously.

     “Oh, okay…but I’ll warn you now,” the Aisha said, leaning in close to my ears. “He’s, you know, not very smart. Used to be Baby, but doesn’t seem to have fully changed back since, if you get my drift.” She twirled a finger around her ear to put the point fully home.

     I thanked her kindly for her advice and waited for the Grundo to answer his boss’s call.

     When Sammy finally made his entrance, it was with a multitude of Petpets. Puppyblews were barking happily at his heels while he held a few different Petpets in his hands, one which I was surprised to see was a Flightning Bug. It didn’t seem to be zapping him thought, but it was buzzing happily as it flittered on his fingertips.

     “Yes, sir?” he asked hesitantly, eyeing my appearance with a small hint of fear.

     “Oh, the Lupe here wants to speak with you, lad,” the Aisha said softly, picking up the creatures flocking around the young alien and putting them back in their cages, where they just sat contentedly, staring at him.

     “Trixy the Jubjub sent me,” I said gently, straight down to business. “About three nights ago she had her Wand of Ultranova stolen. Since you usually fight her in the Battledome, I thought maybe you might know who took it…?”

     Look up tact in the Neopedia and I’ll bet the definition is “Something that kojak_hommes, Neopia’s greatest Detective, is totally lacking of right now.” I’ve never seen anyone find an excuse to move away from me than Sammy did to put the Puppyblews back into their kennels.

     “Wasn’t me…was in Tyrannia! Playing the Wheel of Monotony, I was!” the Grundo stammered piteously.

     “I’m not saying you did –”

     “Played it all night, it never stopped until dawn!”

     “I know, I’ve tried it,” never again would I spend one hundred Neopoints and a good three hours for a trip to the Lair of the Beast.

     “Won a Paintbrush from it!” Sammy announced proudly, retrieving it from behind the counter. “It’s Skunk! Boss says I can paint myself after I’ve finished work!”

     “Hmm,” I murmured, my eyes reduced to thoughtful slits. “Hmm,” I repeated, for nothing else other than dramatic effect. “Look, when you walked back over to the counter, I couldn’t help notice that you had a slight limp…nothing serious, I hope?”

     My friendly concern seemed to help Sammy come out of his box. “Oh, yeah, it’s okay now…it used to be worse! Happened four days ago when I was battling…the Doctor said it was nothing serious,” he gave his stiff right leg an affectionate pat. “It’ll be alright in a day or so…”

     “Glad to hear it,” I answered cheerfully. “I hear you now have your own Wand of Ultranova, too? Must be a good day for you, huh?”

     “Oh, I bought that for him,” the Shopkeeper spoke-up once again from behind her copy of the Times. “It was our deal, you see…he helps out until he earns the Wand – and believe me, its money well spent, the critters love the guy!”

     “Aw, shucks, Boss!”

     “Well, then I’ll be off!” I announced, turning to leave, when an idea struck me. “Oh, Sammy…?”

     “Yeah?”

     “When do you finish work?”

     “About half an hour…why?”

     “When you’re finished, come on over to Trixy’s house, will you?” I gave him the address since he had never seen her except for at the Battledome, and added. “We’ll have cookies and I’ll sort out this whole mess out once and for all.”

     “Can I paint myself, first?” he asked me excitedly.

     “I don’t think so,” I apologised softly. “Better get it all dealt with as soon as possible.”

~**~

On the way back to the Jubjub’s house, I stopped by Tommy the loan-shark Aisha. As briefly as I could I explained the problem and asked him of his whereabouts at the time.

     “Not that it’s really any of your business,” he sneered down at me, “but I was playing Cheat with three of my friends that night…they can all verify.”

     “I’m sure they can,” I growled, trying desperately to resist the urge to bite his leg. “Well, if you come to Trixy’s house in about…oh, quarter of an hour? Sammy the Grundo will be there, too, and I have reason to believe he’s guilty.”

     “Really?” the Aisha asked with an unpleasant glint in his eye. “Well, I can’t make any promises, but I’ll certainly try to make it…”

~**~

“You what?” exclaimed Trixy shortly after my return back at her home. “You invited both the suspects round here? Without my permission? Well, I don’t know what you call that –”

     “In the Detective business we call it ‘Unmasking the Criminal,’” I muttered grimly, “and I just hope my instincts are telling me true…”

To Be Continued…

Author’s note: Well, kojak_hommes seems to know who did it…but do you? Neomail if you think you’ve got it exactly right, but I warn you, it’s not as easy as you may think as all is revealed in Part Four of…The Case of the Wand that Wasn’t

Author's SPECIAL Note: The copy of the Neopian Times stated in this part is merely fictional. If you happened to write an article on how to play a better game of Pyramids, or one on how Lupes aren't really stuck-up and self-proud, then I didn't know, alright? They were just two ideas that popped into my head at the time.