| There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots |
Circulation: 195,069,709 |
Issue: 818 | 9th day of Running, Y20 |
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"Seeking: One Master of the Universe" by itipeque
Everybody’s heard of Dr, Sloth. Some of you may even think you know him well. Fooling yourselves, I say. You may have admired him from afar, but I know him up close and personal. I’m one of his Minions, nay, his second in command, right hand man and evil confident. His most humble admirer and fervent follower. I live to serve my Master. If only I could manage to find him.
My name is Parlax. You think you know me? Think again.
I met Dr. Sloth the very same day he first laid eyes on Neopia. Us Grundos have always known we have an affinity for evil geniuses, but the chance of meeting one is a rare thing indeed. Dr. Sloth’s swift conquer or our planet was a blessing in disguise, and after enslaving our race and creating his army, I and some of my fellow captives were drafted to man his Space Station. Such a happy coincidence! We worked hard and were rewarded with indoctrination and brain-washing. And life was slowly crawling by.
Then one day I was commanded to go up to Dr. Sloth’s quarters and inform him we were approaching the World of Neopia. And the moment our eyes met, I knew my destiny with as much certainty as if Fyora herself had decreed it. He looked at the cross-shaped scar across my face and knew I was the one he had been waiting for. The one whose loyalty he’d never doubt. The one who would be by his side and help him realise his plans. I felt his insanity draw me in like a moth to a flame. And I was mesmerised. I was converted. And I knew I would serve him and obey him, gladly do his bidding and carry out his evil deeds for the rest of forever. Dr. Sloth was my Master just as surely as he was Master of the Universe.
We settled the Space Station on an easy orbit around this new World so full of promise. Dr. Sloth had so many plans! He wanted to transfigure all these new, puny Neopians into his own super race of Virtupets. And to that effect we were ordered to man his Mutation Ray day and night, zapping those pets one by one and turning them into wonderful mutant ones, much like ourselves. Life was good. And then Mira reversed the ray, and that was the beginning of the end. That smug Space Faerie did away with my Master’s best laid plans. The ray exploded and all mutations were reversed and Dr. Sloth had to leave, though he vowed he wouldn’t be gone for long. And I believed him. I was sure good things would come to me if I stayed by his side. Besides, where else would I have gone? Dr. Sloth was my sun, and I his most trusted minion.
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