Voice of the Neopian Pound Circulation: 169,514,968 Issue: 293 | 25th day of Hunting, Y9
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Dear TNT, you rock! I was wondering—


login as: drsloth
Sent username "drsloth"
drsloth@neopets's password: *******
Last login: Fri Jan 12 13:02:13 2007 from spacestation.virtupets.com
[drsloth@neopets]$ pico editorial


What is this drivel? "TNT you're so great, blah, blah, blah." Everyone knows I'm the brilliant mind behind it all! And is anyone else sickened by how nice they are when they answer questions?! This has forced me to take the Editorial into my own villainous hands. There must be some half-decent questions in here somewhere! Let's see...

Hullo TNT =D Describe the qualities of your dream Neopian. In detail. Or my Jinjah will be forced to eat you. Why, you ask? For the sake of silliness. ~[removed]
This would compromise my plans, and your Jinjah is no match for me, of course, but I like how you think.

Where do I go to find a job? ~[removed]
How about an exciting position on the Virtupets Space Station? Flexible morals required.

how do u regain health ~[removed]
Eat vegetables shaped like my beautiful face... or go visit those damnable faeries!

How do I khow if you get our question ~[removed]
Because shortly thereafter, you'll be vaporised.

Yes, well... *lazer blast*

Why are you so fat stupid and why do you suck at editing fatso!? Did I mention that you're fat and stupid? Fatso! ~removed
It's the robe! It makes me look fat! I've been working out!

How did the Merridell shield find it's way onto Turtum's shells? Were they just coincidentally born like that, or is it spray-painted on? ~[removed]
"Neopets does not condone the spray painting of pets and denies all knowledge of such activities." See? This is easy. Let's see... here's one...

Okay, first off, love the layout, and you guys ROCK!! Well then, now that thats done, the big question: Is Kass short for Kassandra? Cause that would make a really wicked plot twist if it was. Just think- eyrie gone mad with evil from bad first name due to misjudgement of mother. Its totally awesome! ~[removed]
... I will now prod you away with my 10 foot electrified pole.

Here's an image for those of you with short attention spans.

Hi, TNT, I was just wondering how many staff members are there who work sincerely and how many are there who don't complain about there salary? ~[removed]
Who said they were paid? Back to work, slaves! *whips*

how do you obtain items ~[removed]
Wish for them really hard... or come work for me. I may reward you with a few bits of food.

i've been dying to see one of my entries in the Editorial!! ~[removed]
Ah, a request I'm quite willing to oblige.

Do the Faerie Cloud Racers never have it occur to them to dodge the smoke streams by using that convenient third dimension? ~[removed]
Your thoughts intrigue me. You may live... for now.

Firstly, I would like to ask if you would please. Stop. Putting. Stupid. Questions. In. The. Editorial. Questions like, "How many silly questions do you get" is not really worthy of being awnsered, if millions of other Neopians have REAL questions. Unless nobody wants to talk to you, then I feel bad for you all. So, on to my real question. Could you tell me what you can take on and off of your lookup? I have my collections and Neohome taken of on my lookup. Is this reportable? ~[removed]
These are real questions... are you accusing me of being decietful? That's so flattering, thank you.

By the way, your horribly important question was answered in Editorial #290. I think you shall perish in the most horrific way imaginable... being eaten by mutant Hasees. NEXT!

what is the grundo plushie thing in faerieland even do?! please help me! ~[removed]
It makes a smiley face. That one was obvious. NEXT.

...Is Jeran really dead? I miss him.
You've been mourning the death of a Neopet that was shown to be fine just three chapters later? SPOILERS! BUAHHAHAA. Goodness, I'm evil.

The evil meepits have forced me to ask you.... why must you taunt us with Dr.Sloth? ~[removed]
This question has no relevance, but it's quite worthy simply for mentioning the name of such a glorious evil genius. You will be spared.

This is a really strange question... but when you're submitting a question to the editorial, why is there a picture of a Meowclops? It makes no sense at all to me... ~[removed]
I agree. This Meowclops creature is much too cute. I shall add their extinction into my plans.

Look. Something moving. Enjoy.

I was just wondering, when users buy stuff from neo shops, pay to play games, pay to spin wheels, ride the merry go round, and so on, where do all those neopoints go? I hope they don't just vanish into thin air or something...thanks for your time :) ~[removed]
You're right. It is quite the waste. I'll be redirecting them to my Neopian Domination Fund from now on. I'd give you a gift for such an idea... but, well, I'm not Dr. Kindness am I?

*sniffle* Where did the hidden tower go? ~[removed]
Nice try! It's in the same place it's always been. You need to work on your trickery and deceit skills. Buy my book!

Hi there, I was playing Coconut Shy yesterday and much to my delight I hit a coconut off it's stand. It went Ka-Boom! and I won some kind of super bonus (500k)!! I also won an evil coconut. Now I seriously cannot complain, but why no avatar? ~[removed]
It can do that? I had no idea. Grundos! I demand you play Coconut Shy until such a thing occurs. *rubs hands together* This will aid in my funding. Now away pest!

whenever someone says you rock you get hit with a rock right? well, if I said you you tree would you get hit in the head with a tree? oh and by the way you rock AND tree!!! ~[removed]
I have no idea what you just said... and I'm a doctor. A DOCTOR. That means I'm smart.

Where and when did Kevin Techo die. I'm looking in the newspaper because it seems like a logical source. Pleeeaase help. ~[removed]
Hmmm... I agree with your thoughts that the Neopian Times should have obituaries. I'm sure there will be many once I finish my death ray.

has this question been asked before? XD ~[removed]
Ironically, no.

hey. wat itemz can yur petz wer??? (I'm literate, but I just like typing like that.) ~[removed]
Please step a little to the left. Just a hair more... there! Now stand right here as I push this button.


Heh, heh, heh.

plz not teh broom!

why do i keep loosing on scratchcards?? ~[removed]
Rotten luck? How should I know?!

Can you explaine to us what is and isnt? ~[removed]
Gah, do these questions never end?? I can't take this any more! *This* is why Neopia must be destroyed!

[drsloth@neopets]$ logout


Erm, we're having a few difficulties, so we'll just put some useful information here for now.

~If the Daily Puzzle question doesn't change, it's not cheating to answer it again the following day.
~Yes, we're still working on the pound.
~Yes, we're aware Petpet avatars are still not working.
~We're sorry if your jungle adventure got borked. It should be fixed now!

We should be back to normal next week!

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