All Day Long, You Think About Sloth!

Sloth’s Worm of Wisdom: Do not meddle in the affairs of Shoyrus because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Sloth this, Sloth that. I’ve been quite a celebrity on the scene for about 3 years now.

Roxy, I have experience in holding back mobs of fans. My bodyguards have offered their services to guard you if you ever need it. (One small condition. I will only provide security when you accumulate enough fans to make a crowd.)

Poor Shoyru doesn’t get much of a look in anymore. Shoyrus in general are not in the spotlight much anymore. Enough with the fun and games. Roxy, you can play with your Usuki tea set if your tiny brain can’t cope with this formulae.

Lets play a mentally stimulating game with you, my precious reader! Answer these two similar in difficulty questions.

Think of five comics that have featured Sloth in them.

(Room for Two, Sloth on the Rox, Really Confused, A Little Place They Call Neopia!, Pant Pant Devil are just a few.)

Think of five famous Shoyrus (besides Roxy) in the Neopian Times.

Which was easier? I predict 9.5 out of 10 readers will say the first question is easier, proving I’m more well known.

I, Frank Sloth, am more famous than Roxy. There’s a chemical called Slothite in Chemistry for Beginners. Most likely named after the hot love machine which is the Slothenator. I have a Neopedia article about me. I have a half-baked plot that Neopets is publicising using my name.

***********

Please answer the age old question “What do the Slothish wear under their cloaks?”

Cloak Doom

I refuse to reveal top secret information. But I will share with you a Slothish proverb. “He who marries a chicken soon gets henpecked.”

When you log on for your daily Neopets fix, what do you check out first?

Reality Check Bounced

Check out? That Tiki Tack Tombola Man is pretty hot, he can give me a bottle of sand any day!

No, I like to look at New Features. It's wonderful that the amount of news that happens in Neopia everyday just exactly fits on “New Features”.

Hello! Uh, say Sloth, do you have a no. 1 fan? Because my brother and cousin just wants to know! Plushieowner, you can answer this one too if you like! And If you are smart Sloth, tell me... what is the most hardest game in Neopets?

A Person in Need

Sloth: Zurroball, I could never keep my balls off my ground.

Plushieowner: Chemistry for Beginners. Ignore Sloth as he is looking for cheap laughs. The dirty minded villain should wash his mouth out with Peophin soap. Sloth: Haha! Plushie does not know how to feel love, let alone chemistry!

Plushieowner: Yes, I do. Oh, hardest game. Sorry about the blonde Uni moment. I say the Fruit Machine.

Sloth: Piffle..Rox, wanna try working with this ditz! I’ll have Troxy.

I have let myself go. The appearance of my garden looks like a wild growth jungle. I use to have one of the best gardens in my Neopets neighbourhood but lately my reputation as a gardener has been soiled. May I have some advice from a fellow green thumb?

Lucky Green Roots

Since you asked so nicely. The best way to garden is to put on a wide brimmed straw hat and some old clothes. Then stand with attack fork to dig the ground in one hand and a Neocola can in the other, tell somebody else where to dig.

In a normal family of 1.8 Neopets, at what age should I make my babies leave home?

Tied The Knot

Boot them out before they get old enough to plead for Neopoints to feed their

habits.

For example second-hand capes were not good enough for my daughter as she wants a big, black new shiny cape! Not hand-me-down capes. Whereas my son yearns for the latest game gizmos. (Seen the full retail price of Grand Theft Grundo? Why can’t my son admire from afar?)

I have seen comics and articles that have you going to Jhudora's house to ask her out, and I've seen them with you falling for Fyora! Which one do you really like?

Confused by Crushes

Fyora. I do not know why people make assumptions that I love Jhudora. I hate female villains, for a matter of fact. Normally it's easier for villainesses to combine a career in crime with bringing up a family, as they have henchwenches to carry out their evil schemes.

If you were Roxy’s personal stylist, what recommendation would you give to Roxy on her wardrobe?

Clothes Uni

They say vertical stripes are supposed to make you look thinner. In Roxy’s case, more like a Watermelon.

Hello Sloth,

I tapped my Chaos Emperor Dragon to summon my two Grundos into the intelligence arena. Flipped a coin, to see if I was burned. My opponent asked to check my Green Chomby Magic deck as he wanted to confirm that I knew how to play the Neopets TCG appropriately.

Gotta Poke Them All

Sounds like somebody’s not playing with a full deck. You’re lucky your opponent didn’t deck you! What a card! I gotta “hand” it to you! But on the serious side you definitely need to read a rule book.

I have always wanted do the whole tracing the Neopian family thing but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?

Coffee, Tea and My Slothy

Spiffy name. Yes. Slothy has an idea for tracing your family history on the cheap. Run for public office.

Hi Sloth,

I have a question regarding men's hairstyles. I am balding and decided a few years ago to shave my head completely bald for a cleaner look. I received a lot of positive feedback from the lady Chias.

However, over the last year or so I have noticed more men with longer hair and women paying less attention to bald-headed men. Are bald-headed men out and long haired guys in?

Dare to Stylise

Not as far as I’m concerned. I have observed a number of bald Neopets as well as a few balding ones receiving quite a bit of female attention. Bald men will never be out of style in my book. It is a classic look. There is also something about high foreheads or being as shiny as a bowling ball. And don’t forget the saving on combs.

Doctor Sloth, I feel like a pack of cards!

Card Table

I'll deal with your problem later, okay?

My Strawberry Poogle, Pip, is getting a little on the skinny side. She only eats fruit. Is this a side effect of being painted Strawberry?

Rub-a-dub-dub, Three Pets and a Blub

Mmmm....strawberrries.. *Ahem* Buy her 10 lbs of chocolate covered raisins and tell her their fruit.

Rant of the Fortnight (or ROTF):

With the Neoflu Season going around (I’m a Doctor, I know these things) ; what is it with Neopians and borrowing tissues?

How can anyone “borrow” a tissue? Its not like a pen, pass it onto the next person to use in an exam. Every time someone says to you ‘Can I borrow a tissue?’, put on your best Slow-th voice and say..

“Not if you are going to use it first then give it back to me.”

Its snot a nice thing.

Author’s Note:

This is the 9th “Ask Dr. Sloth.” No. 10 will be the final in his series. If you have any questions for the Doc, send them in as soon as possible.