Stand behind yer sheriff Circulation: 96,860,727 Issue: 187 | 22nd day of Eating, Y7
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The Beauty Shop of Horrors: Part One


by blubblub317

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Hannah the Usul panted heavily as she trudged her way through the exit of The Galagarth Caves in Krawk Island. The sun's rays bounced on the outside walls of the cave, ricocheting through the inside and illuminating the water with golden sparkles. Hannah breathed in the cool air, a much better feeling then the stuffy, humid air from the caves. She threw back a lock of her greasy brown hair, and fell on the warm, soft sand. Finally, she closed her eyes and fell into the wonderful world of sleep…

     **************

     Dr. Sloth drummed his fingers against the steel table of his secret lair. His hair flopped nonchalantly and an expression of dismay was planted on his face. The doctor was not in a good mood today. Three dozen of his Mutant Grundo army had suddenly vanished while excavating some sites on Kreludor. Sloth had a hunch that it was Gorix and Cylara who had zapped them away.

     "Oh well," he hissed, "they'll see what happens when you mess with an evil overlord. I'll just kidnap MORE Grundos and make an even bigger army! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

     "Uh, Dr. Sloth," a voice suddenly piped from the entrance of the lair.

     Sloth swiveled his chair to find a little orange Grundo with a huge notebook full of shuffled paper standing timidly at the front door.

     "What is it, Tooters?" Dr. Sloth moaned, sinking his face into his hands.

     "W-well, t-the thing is..uh…" Beads of sweat rolled down Tooters's forehead.

     "I SAID WHAT IS IT, TOOTERS?!" boomed the malicious villain.

     The poor Grundo jumped up from shocked, and began rambling about the unfortunate events that had just occurred. "I don't know how anybody could do this, but it seems that all your Neopoints from the National Neopian Bank have somehow mysteriously disappeared! The confirmations arrived this morning at the Space Station, but I was only informed of this till now."

     Dr. Frank Sloth was not a villain who took bad news easily. In fact, he despised bad news. His life was meant to only have good news in it, not bad. So when he heard that all his Neopoints had somehow gone missing, he went ballistic.

     "WHAT KIND OF DIRTY, USELESS, CREATURE ARE YOU?! YOU DON'T EVEN MERIT A NANOSECOND OF MY VALUABLE TIME, SO GET OUT OF HERE, SQUEAKERS!"

     Tooters bobbed his head frantically and sped out of the lair. Having to declare bad news to Dr. Frank Sloth was the worst job in the entire world.

          ***************

     "Hannah! Hannah! I can't believe you're finally here!" a voice exclaimed. The little Usul felt her body being shaken.

     Hannah slowly fluttered her eyes open. The sight of an Island Usul standing before her seemed hazy, but it was visible. The Usul was bending down towards her face, eyes glinting with a mound of excitement. Suddenly, the realization of who it was hit Hannah like a treasure chest.

     "Tina!" Hannah shrieked, throwing herself up from the sand and squeezing her best friend in her arms. "Oh my gosh, I haven't seen you for over a year!"

     Tine squealed in a girlish tone, and squeezed back. "I know, girlfriend! Gosh, where have you been?!"

     Hannah let go of Tina and smiled warmly. "Oh, there were so many more treasures then I had expected in the Pirate Caves. One turned out to be ten, and then ten turned out to be a hundred!"

     "Eeee! Did you bring anything back?"

     Hannah reached into her small pocket and fished out a pile of amazingly shiny coins. "It's the most I could take with all the adventures I went through. But it's still worth lots."

     Tina's mouth opened in awe, and she gazed at the coins in wonder. "That's amazing Hannah. You really are an incredible explorer."

     Hannah's cheeks turned into a deep shade of ruby. Her friend always threw compliments to her, and she felt guilty not passing some back when she should have.

     "Wait," said Tina, cutting through Hannah's thoughts, "where's the rest of the treasure that you found?"

     "Well," began Hannah, "it belonged to many creatures far and about. It was all stolen by those filthy pirates who thought they could get away with such a malicious crime. These were all very needy people who had worked hard for their Neopoints, and the pirates took it all away."

     "And you brought it back to them?" asked Tina, excited.

     Hannah nodded. "Exactly. Now can we head back to your place for some lemonade? I'm exhausted." Hannah was not one to brag about her adventures. She was a very modest Usul.

     "Oh honey, you sure do look like you're exhausted," Tine pointed out as the two made their way towards her home. "I mean, look at the lines under your eyes. They're the size of apricots! And look at this filthy hair. EEE! Your skin! It's so greasy!"

     Hannah shrugged. "That's what I get for exploring all of those Pirate Caves.

     "Girl, we're gonna' need to bring you to a Beauty Shop as soon as possible!"

     Hannah's eyes widened in surprise. "A beauty shop?!" she scoffed. "Never! Never in a million years! Beauty shops are blargh!"

     Tine rolled her eyes amusingly. "Oh, don't be so naïve! They'll fix you all up so you'll look gorgeous!"

     Hannah knew she had lost her case. One Tina stuck with something, she would never give up. The small Usul heaved a sigh. "Where are we going to find a beauty shop in the first place?"

     **************

     "This is ticking me off."

     The words droned in the private meeting headquarters of Virtupets Space Station. Dr. Sloth had announced a meeting to take place at 2:00 p.m. sharp and all of his top-notch executives were required to be present.

     "Is there anyway to find out who did this?" a mammoth red Skeith grunted from the back of the narrow table.

     "Yes, Comma, but I don't have time!" snapped Sloth irritably. "It could take months, even years to discover who did this despicable…thing. The Defenders of Neopia declared there weren't even any fingerprints!"

     Ms. Gulloba, Sloth's assistant, gasped. "The Defenders of Neopia are on this case?!"

     "Of course, but they don't know that it's my account!" replied Sloth to the purple Grarrl. "They wouldn't help me for millions. When I first created the account, I paid an innocent little Grundo to create me one, who was then zapped into a Mutant Grundo of course. Then, I cashed in all of my royalties with the codename Sloopeh. Those idiots didn't even know what hit them."

     Dr. Frank Sloth and all of his executives began laughing ferociously from the villain's mastermind plans. His plan had been intricate to the finest detail, until this had all happened.

     "There's just going to have to be some way I can get all of those Neopoints back," boomed Sloth. "Plus some more, just for the heck of it. Villains like me always need hefty amounts of cash."

     "W-well, how much did you originally have in your account, Dr. Sloth?" questioned Ms. Gulloba pointedly.

     Dr. Sloth paused for a moment, and then yelled out, "ONE TRILLION NEOPOINTS!"

     Everyone gasped in awe.

     Dr. Sloth grinned. "No, I'm just playing with you all." He paused. "ONE BILLION NEOPOINTS!"

     Everyone gasped in wonder.

     Dr. Sloth cackled. "You're all even stupider then I imagined." He paused. "TEN MILLION NEOPOINTS!"

     Everyone kept quiet.

     The chicken villain groaned. "I mean it this time."

     All of the executive's face lit up, and they gasped in a rather sarcastic tone this time around.

     "Oh, stop it everyone with your one-act plays. Get out of here! You've been no help."

     All of the executives were quite content to be leaving. Dr. Sloth had never treated them properly from the very first time they had been hired, and it looked like he never would in the near future. Once they had all left the room, Sloth plodded clumsily into his leather swivel chair. His brain pounded with all of the questions that had cluttered into his mind.

     "Think, think, think," he groaned. "What can I do to gain lots of Neopoints?"

     All of a sudden, a thick tube of red lipstick rolled towards his fingertips. It was unopened, and the initials A.G. were engraved in it. "Hmmm, this must be Ms. Gulloba's," said Sloth to himself.

     Suddenly, the villain's face lit up. "Oooh, I have a…PLAN!!!"

     **************

     "Ah, that lemonade was good."

     "Want some more?"

     "Sure."

     The twitters of Pawkeet's rang throughout the backyard of Tine's large home on the edge of Krawk Island's beaches. It was an expensive and beautiful residence, one that anyone would die to live in. Tina had inherited it from her great-grandfather who had discovered amazing riches in the Galagarth Caves. This was how Hannah had gotten the idea to explore there as well. The ideas of mounds of riches and a home like Tina lived in piqued her interest, and so she headed off for an adventure almost a year ago.

     Hannah sipped on another glass of lemonade. The cool and sweet feeling pleasured her taste buds. She wasn't used to such fine drinks and foods. Eating old Ghost Marshmallows and Pickled Olives each night had made her used to awful and aged provisions.

     "So, when do you want to go to the Beauty Shop?" Tina squealed, munching on a cookie from the cookie jar.

     Hannah groaned. "About that. Um, I don't really think I want to go. I mean, I'm not into all that girly stuff that you're into."

     Tina playfully hit Hannah's elbow. "Oh, don't be silly, honey. All girls need some touch-up once in awhile."

     "Well, what are they going to do to me?" asked Hannah nervously.

     "Hannah, you make it seem like they're going to take over your mind or something!"

     Hannah crossed her arms and lay on them in despair. "You never know," she mumbled.

     "Look," began Tina, "they're just going to fix up your hair, maybe color it to a gorgeous lighter shade. Maybe something like auburn. Give you some makeup tips. You know? All that stuff!"

     "MAKEUP?!" shrieked Hannah. "Never! NO! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE ME WEAR MAKEUP!"

     Tina narrowed her eyes. "Fine, no makeup. But you're going, girl, and that's that! All expenses paid by moi!"

To Be Continued…

 
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