Six Steps To Impress King Skarl

King Skarl lives in Meridell Castle, which is located in the South-West side of Meridell. He sits upon his throne, looking down on all of his people. He is known as the Grumpy Old King, which is only a fraction of what he really is. He is grumpy, yes, but he is also very fickle, and lazy. But when he is awake, or not out for lunch, he is just plain grumpy. His jesters and friends and family are ordered to come from all lands to tell him a joke, to cheer him up. Aunts, Uncles, Brothers and Sisters come from all over, telling their best jokes. King Skarl doesn't usually find these jokes amusing, but he does find his joke-struggling family quite funny.

When his family fails (which is quite often) King Skarl calls upon all of Neopia to come to his castle to tell him their best joke. He rates the jokes, for what reason I am not sure. Sometimes the joke has no effect on him. It doesn't make him happier or sadder. Actually, I think that if he says that the joke has no effect on him, it is just because he wasn't listening to you.

Some people come to tell him a joke because they think he will be nicer if he is happy, some go for the free food, items, or Neopoints that go along with a good joke rating. But telling a good joke is hard, and not many people know that. In this step by step guide, you will learn what King Skarl looks for in a joke, and what he looks for in the person telling the joke. So sit back, and read!

STEP ONE: PRESENTATION

When going to see King Skarl, you should be well presented. You and your pets should wear your finest clothes. Not too fancy though, since King Skarl doesn't like people looking better than him. Go to the Grooming Parlour and buy hairspray, shampoo, conditioner, lipstick, cucumber eye cream, bath foams and salts, and many other items that would make you look and smell fresh. But there is one thing that you should know before going to the Grooming Parlour. King Skarl doesn't like the colour red. He, as you may have noticed, wears red and doesn't like people looking like him. He also doesn't like the smell lavender, so be careful in what perfume, shampoo, or other beauty products you buy.

STEP TWO: NO NERVOUS LOOKS

If you tell a good joke, King Skarl may hire you as a full time jester. That is a good job. But he will never hire you if you are nervous. When you are nervous you tend to shake, and your voice doesn't sound right. Being nervous makes the joke less funny, and you more funny than the joke you tell. To impress King Skarl, I suggest that you practice what you are going to say and do before telling him your joke. That way you won't be nervous, or forget your joke.

STEP THREE: VOICE

To tell a joke, your voice should be heard. If King Skarl can't hear your voice, he won't listen and therefor won't rate your joke. Make sure your voice is loud enough to be heard through the castle's hustle and bustle, but not too loud. If your voice is too loud, it will give King Skarl a headache, and will make him even more grumpy. Also, your voice shouldn't be too serious. A joke is funny and loose, not stiff and serious. But keep in mind that your voice shouldn't be too silly sounding. That may be overdoing it, and King Skarl is very picky.

STEP FOUR: FACIAL AND BODY EXPRESSIONS

When you go to tell your joke, you may not want to just stand in one place,one position the whole time. King Skarl will get bored if you stand in the middle of the joke platform, hands behind your back, telling your joke. Practice some body movements, hand gestures. The movement shouldn't be too wobbly and silly. But at the same time they shouldn't be too stiff. If you are enjoying yourself, there is a chance that King Skarl will too.

STEP FIVE: TIME

Your timing is a very important thing in going to see King Skarl. If you go see him in the morning, when he is still half asleep, you will not get a very good reaction from him. The best time to see him is just after dinner, or lunch, or one of his many midday snacks. That way he is full and happy. If you are lucky enough to see him right after he has eaten, your joke will be listened to, and if it is good, you will get a prize.

STEP SIX:TRICKS OF THE TRADE

If your joke is not that good, or if your posture, body movements, smell or timing isn't so good, there are a few tricks that may be useful to you. Cook some food. Good food. Meats are best. Hide your food under your clothes, and when you see King Skarl, give the food to him. Tell your joke quickly, while he is eating. King Skarl is always happier when he is eating.

If you have no food to feed him with, then give him a gift. He loves gifts. The gift and be good or bad. Wrap it in a box, in colourful, bright looking paper. Before you tell your joke, show it to him. He will be impatient to open the gift, and this is a good time to tell your joke. In his hurry to get the gift, he will say your joke is perfect, and give you a good score. Then, give the gift to him and quickly leave before the guards know that you brought him a gift, and before King Skarl opens his gift, in case it is not so good.

STEP SEVEN: JOKE MATERIAL

This is by far the most important step that I have listed. To impress King Skarl your joke must be a good and funny joke. If it is an unfunny joke, King Skarl will fall asleep, and not listen. Plan your joke, and tell it to other people. That way the other people can tell you how your joke is, and how to improve it. If you don't have a funny joke, King Skarl will not be very kind to you.

That is all for this 5-step guide. I hope that you have learned everything you need to know, and that this small guide will help you when you go to see the Grumpy Old King himself.

THE END