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Hubert’s Hot Dogs: Best and Worst

by spukl1


Hello, my fellow Neopians! This is Charles the Chocolate Chia, Neopia’s top food critic here on the scene to give you quite the scoop. As I eat my way across Neopia, my heart (and stomach) always returns to one place: my hometown in Neopia Central. When I stroll through the Neopian Bazaar and see the shops light up, I know I am home! Passing the Chocolate Factory and smelling the sweet air makes me sigh with relief, but with its ease of access, cheap prices and consistent taste, the place I crave when I am home is Hubert’s Hot Dogs. Hubert’s Hot Dogs stand is a classic Neopian eatery which has been running for years. I can never resist the deep-fried bread, the greasy hot dogs and the ketchup filled potatoes… YUM! So as a tribute to my hometown and an ode to Hubert for all the sustenance through the years, I am here to share the official report for the best and worst fares from Hubert’s Hot Dogs.

     Best of Hubert’s Hot Dogs:

     1. Coconut Hot Dog. The Coconut Hot Dog is one of my all-time favourites from Hubert’s Hot Dogs. The Kads and I will agree that the mix of sweet and savory is superb. The Coconut Hot Dog is truly an elevated classic and at a decent price point, it is the hot dog I find myself buying the most over the years.

     2. Hubert’s Special Hot Dog. Special indeed! This is Hubert’s top secret recipe and the flavour is absolutely enchanting. Hubert’s Special Hot Dog is dripping with toppings, with the proper ratio of mustard to ketchup, which makes it quite an appetizing treat! It is freshly made each time and unquestionably scrumptious! Hubert keeps this gem on a secret menu, so only those in-the-know can order it… but now the Kads out the bag so feel free to ask Hubert directly for it next time you go in!

     3. BBQ Onion Hot Dog. This is the All-Neopian diet at its finest. Hubert dunks a classic hot dog with ketchup and relish into a vat of honey mustard, then tosses buffalo flavoured onion rings on top. This is all stacked onto a fresh-baked sesame seed bun, with extra sauce drizzled on top. You cannot go wrong with this choice; it is a hometown classic! Saucy and delicious for the indulgent Neopians…the BBQ Onion Hot Dog is always a crowd pleaser.

     4. Seafarers Hot Dog. As always, expectations are high when you find something inspired by the tasteful and dangerous Neopian sea but the Seafarers Hot Dog lives up to hype! Inspired by Maraqua itself, this hot dog is one of Hubert’s healthiest hot dog options, filled with kelp, brine and a light dusting of flossed shrimp. This is a sea-worthy experience for your taste buds and it can be purchased at a decent price point too.

     5. 14 Karat Baked Potato . This is a top tier treat to share with any baked potato fans. While the 14 Karat Baked Potato is a bit pricey, it is without a doubt one of the best items on Hubert’s menu. A classic potato is baked in gold foil, Hubert then slices the interior to add a sprinkling of Mouldy Cheese and Freeze-Dried Bacon before topping the potato with 14 Karat gold chunks, the baked potato is then hand coated in gold flakes before the final boil. Th3 14 Karat Baked Potato packs a charming crunch and a metallic flavour that is perfectly equalized by the pungent flavours of the interior! This meal is certainly an experience and a decadent choice that I must recommend to any Gourmet Food Club member.

     I am sorry to say while I love Hubert’s Hot Dogs, there are some items I always avoid…

     Worst of Hubert’s Hot Dogs:

     1. Fluorescent Hot Dog/b-no tags here-. This hot dog may look like fun with all the groovy colours, but it tastes like plastic. This hot dog is so full of food dye, that you will be seeing rainbows for months after eating it. Take it for your collection, look at the pretty colours in the shop but do not eat it. This hot dog was made after a collaboration-gone-wrong with Loic from the Dyeworks studio – remember friends, sharing materials is great and sustainable, but only within the same industry.

     2. Natural Hot Dog. This is not edible; I repeat this is NOT edible! If someone gives this to you (i.e., Dr. Sloth) and tells you it is a tasty treat… they are lying…they are not your friend and you CANNOT trust them, they just want you to chip your tooth. Yes, with the name including Natural you may think it is a healthy choice, but it must be avoided unless you want splinters!

     3. Burnt Hot Dog. Ah yes, the Burnt Hot Dogs, the ones that Hubert overcooks just a bit…while he discounts these blackened hot dogs, they still are not worth it. They taste like charcoal and sadness! Plus, if these do not sell, Hubert will donate them straight to the Kadoatery so it is not like they go to waste!

     4. Zombie Hot Dog. The Zombie Hot Dog is one of Hubert’s more recent recipes and it was all the rage when it came out, but myself along with many other Neopians have found that these hot dogs will come back to haunt you. Nothing makes my tummy ache more than the stale and lifeless Zombie Hot Dog. I would highly encourage skipping this haunted indulgence if you do not want to taste it twice!

     5. Beans with Sausages. The bowl of Beans with Sausages is a staple at Hubert’s Hot Dogs. This meal has been on the menu since day one, and you may think that it is a great way to get your daily protein intake at a very affordable price, but trust me it is not worth even a pretty penny… I will let you in on a little-known secret: the Beans with Sausages mix is actually the left-over hot dogs from the day before! While I am all about zero-waste, when it comes to hot dogs, trust me, fresher is better!

     As I said, Hubert’s is a classic and a lifelong favourite of mine! I barely skimmed the surface of all the delicious hot dog and potato meals they have to offer! Let me know if you agree with my proclamations or if you think I missed a delicacy! I am blessed to share each and every tasty morsel with all of you! Let me know what you want me to taste next!

     Until next time,

     Charles the Chocolate Chia, food connoisseur, is signing off.

     *Sponsored by The Golden Dubloon - feed your inner Pirate*.

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