The inside scoop on Jelly W-argh! *choke* Circulation: 197,798,779 Issue: 1005 | 5th day of Eating, Y26
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

Dr. Sloth's Mandate: Relocation to Terror Mountain


by notooryous

--------

Greetings, fellow villains and aspiring conquerors!

     I, Dr. Sloth, ruler of the Virtupets Space Station and master of all things devious and diabolical, hereby decree the disbanding of my evil space station and the mandatory relocation of all inhabitants to Terror Mountain. This decision has been made in the interest of spreading terror and chaos to new lands, specifically Terror Mountain as it has been deemed not terrorizing enough.

     This decision has (obviously) been made with meticulous planning and strategic foresight and I am very pleased to announce that while crafting this decree, I engaged in successful negotiations with none other than Taelia, the Snow Faerie of Terror Mountain. Her powers and influence in the icy realm are formidable, and her support was crucial in ensuring the success of this mandate. Through subtle manipulation and coercion, I persuaded Taelia to lend her approval to the relocation plan, promising her a position of power and authority in the new order of things. With her reluctant acceptance, the final details of the decree were solidified.

     Please read the following ten directives carefully, as they are pursuant to this mandate:

     1. Modification of the Ice Caves: The Ice Caves shall be modified with advanced communication devices and surveillance equipment, transforming it into a strategic outpost for my ever-expanding empire, where information is power and control is absolute. This new outpost shall henceforth serve as the central command for myself and my most trusted Grundo minions, who will establish their residence and oversee the operations of this Terror Mountain Takeover.

     2. Eradication of Happy Valley: Happy Valley, with its cheerful and joyous atmosphere, shall be eradicated and replaced with a sinister underground maze of dark corridors and twisted pathways, instilling fear and dread in all who dare to enter. This exciting new upgrade will be called Loneliness Labyrinth and construction will commence immediately upon my Grundos establishment of their residence in Terror Mountain.

     3. Mutation of Snowbeasts: The slightly frightening Snowbeasts of Terror Mountain shall be mutated into terrifying creatures of the night, bred for destruction and chaos. They shall serve as additional enforcers of my rule, assisting in the spread of terror throughout the mountain. They will be transformed by my incredibly powerful Ray Gun so that their once soft fur will bristle with menace, their fangs will grow to astounding lengths, and their gentle roars will be replaced by bone-chilling howls that echo through the snowy peaks.

     4. Transformation of The Neggery: The Neggery, once a place of harmonious trading, shall be repurposed into a Space Weaponry shop where existing Neggs will be developed into powerful weapons of mass destruction. This transformation includes the explicit right to modify all Neggs as I see fit. Including, but not limited to, the following types of Neggs: Plasma Neggs, Frostbite Neggs, Spiked Neggs, Ferocious Neggs, Rare Cyber Neggs, Confusioneggs, Super Icy Neggs, and Void Neggs.

     5. Curse of Eternal Winter: A curse of eternal winter shall be cast upon Terror Mountain by Taelia herself, freezing the land to a temperature that only inhabitants of Virtupets Space Station will be able to withstand. All existing crops and food sources will perish, making the survival of the new population of Terror Mountain completely dependent upon my mercy. The Curse of Eternal Winter will also steal the sunlight, covering Terror Mountain in perpetual darkness and despair, where the chilling winds will whisper near-constant tales of doom and destruction.

     6. Acquisition of The Snowager: The Snowager, now under my control, will be tasked with freezing and immobilizing dissenters and rebels, encasing them in layers of icy crystal that serve as a chilling warning to those who dare to challenge my authority. Its cavernous lair will be transformed into a prison of frozen despair, where the captured are left to contemplate their defiance in the frigid solitude of their icy prison cells.

     7. Relocation of the Lever of Doom: The infamous Lever of Doom, will be moved to Terror Mountain to replace the abomination that is the Super Happy Icy Fun Show Shop. Those who dare to interact with the Lever of Doom will unknowingly find themselves subjected to brand-new curses and terrors. These new terrors contain proprietary information and therefore can not be disclosed in this decree.

     8. Implementation of mind control on Polarchucks: I shall employ my advanced mind control technology to manipulate the behaviour of Polarchucks, turning them into agents of destruction that randomly chew through the homes of Terror Mountain inhabitants. Under my influence, the Polarchucks will target residential dwellings, gnawing through the icy walls and structures with relentless determination, leaving the inhabitants exposed to the exceptionally cold temperatures of my Eternal Winter Curse.

     9. Reinvention of Typing Terror: Seeing as it is already aptly named, Typing Terror will also be relocated to Terror Mountain. It will be replacing the game Snowmunchers due to the fact that the Polarchucks now have more important work to do. Additionally, the existing design of Typing Terror will be enhanced by even more terrorizing features, including but not limited to, The Blue Screen of Death. Ensuring the game is impossible to win.

     10. Never-Ending Addendums: Alongside the implementation of these extra terrifying measures in Terror Mountain, I hereby allow the addition of never-ending addendums to this decree. This grants me the unlimited authority to introduce new rules, restrictions, and mandates at my whim, ensuring that my influence and control over Terror Mountain will continue to expand without limit.

     By the power vested in me, Dr. Sloth, I hereby declare this decree to be binding and enforceable upon all inhabitants of Virtupets Space Station. Failure to comply will not be tolerated, and severe consequences will be meted out to those who dare to defy my authority. Let the reign of terror begin anew in the icy depths of Terror Mountain, as my malevolent influence spreads far and wide, casting a shadow of darkness over all who oppose me. The reign of terror has only just begun, and all shall tremble before the might of Dr. Sloth. Muhahaha.

     

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

Jailbreaker
"The absolute last thing you want to happen when you’re enjoying the free networking at the Grundo’s Cafe is for a stranger to come up to you, so of course that..."

by quanticdreams

---------

Totally Real!: Guide to Neopi-UH?
"Heading down the Symol Hole, but it's your first visit, and you're looking to fill out that itinerary?"

by rawbeee

---------

Umbra’s April Fools
Don’t worry. Umbra would never leave you hanging! Collab with i_lovee_icecream

by truebrony

---------

A Hero's Journey: Squire
"Cathton stared at the medallion in his hands, which showed the letter 'W' over a diamond bisected by a sword. It was heavy, but not as heavy as the..."

by precious_katuch14



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.