A Yurble stole my cinnamon roll! Circulation: 197,665,009 Issue: 996 | 17th day of Storing, Y25
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A Brilliant Balloon Theme on Neopets’ Birthday!

by _brainchild_


---Starring Chessangie the Royal Girl Draik, Chessella the Pastel Draik, Maldice the Stealthy Draik, and Christine, their owner!---

      Christine: Welcome! Another year has gone by, and Neopets is now twenty-four years old. (How time flies! Almost a quarter of a century.)

     Angie: True... We weren’t even born yet.

     Christine: Well, I was. I feel old now. Anyway, what should we celebrate with? We could eat cake, but it’s full of calories, so I’ve gathered some balloon-themed items instead.

     Ella: One piece of cake wouldn’t hurt...

     Maldice: But one piece turns into five pieces, which then turns into the whole blasted cake. No one has any self-control.

     Christine: True. I certainly don’t. Anyway, onto the balloon-themed items:

          ---Alien Aisha Balloon---


      Christine: This item was released during Daily Dare in Year 11 for beating Abigail at Itchy Invasion.

     Ella: Daily Dare should come back... I know of a certain Maraquan Draik who would love it.

     Angie: Very true!

     Ella: Where is the space suit on this balloon? This Aisha needs some wearables.

     Angie: Agreed!

     Christine: Very true. The Alien Aisha wears a space suit, complete with a helmet and collar. It looks like this Aisha was adopted from the pound, with no Paintbrush clothes to be found...

     Ella: Who would pound an Alien Aisha?!

     Maldice: Maybe its name was dfsioaewrnkqwefvkqmdwdfasdfspkmklkm...

     Ella: That’s over the character limit.

     Maldice: Precisely! We’re not going to reference someone else’s Neopet without permission.

     Angie: Very true!

          ---Balloon-Shaped Cotton Candy---


      Christine: Cotton candy is rather balloon-shaped anyway, but this kind is even more so!

     Ella: Very true... Let me try. ---bites into cotton candy--- It tastes like a mouthful of sugar.

     Maldice: As we expected!

     Angie: Do the pink and blue have different flavours?

     Ella: ---bites the other puff--- Yes. The blue one tastes like raspberry and the pink one tastes like strawberry.

     Angie: The flavour “blue raspberry” never made any sense to me... Raspberries aren’t BLUE!

     Ella: I know, right! So weird!

     Christine: Anyway, if you have a sweet tooth, look no further.

          ---Bori Balloon Animal---


      Christine: This is very different from the Alien Aisha Balloon we saw earlier. Someone must have been very talented to twist a balloon into a Bori shape!

     Ella: I know, right? It even has a nose that was created using the end of the balloon.

     Angie: It also has arms, legs, and paws... Very detail-oriented.

     Maldice: The only thing it’s missing is eyes, but that can be solved with a permanent marker. ---draws on the balloon animal--- There! Perfect.

     Angie: How long before this thing deflates?

     Maldice: I will enchant it so it will last forever.

          ---Maldice waves her wand and says a few magical words.---

      Maldice: There! A forever souvenir.

          ---Circle of Balloons---


      Christine: This wearable came from the NC Mall Fifth Birthday Goodie Bag, which was available for free in Year 14. Since it was given out for free, there are plenty available for you to trade for!

     Maldice: Part of me wants to go around popping them all... ---brandishes sharp claws---

     Ella: Don’t! You’ll ruin them. The balloons are so pretty; they’re many different colours!

     Angie: Very true... I wonder how long these balloons will last before they deflate.

     Christine: Due to the power of faerie magic, they will stay floating indefinitely.

     Ella: I suppose that would be true, since they’re over ten years old already!

     Maldice: They will stay floating until I pop them all. Even faerie magic can’t stop my claws... ---grins---

     Ella: No! If you ruin this item, you’re getting me a new one.

     Maldice: Gah, I suppose you’re right.

          ---Kiko Water Balloon---


      Christine: Since Kikos love water so much, why not have a water balloon shaped like them?

     Maldice: Agreed! This will make a great Battledome weapon---

     Ella: No, it won’t. It’s just a toy. Perfect for splashing someone in the middle of summer.

     Angie: Too bad it’s one use only.

     Maldice: True, but once I enchant it with dark magic, it will become a Battledome bomb which deals dark and water damage alike.

          ---Maldice waves her wand and says a few magical words, and the water balloon starts glowing.---

     Angie: Neat! Perfect for dealing with villains.

     Ella: True... We need more of these to really make their lives miserable.

          ---Mittens and the Red Balloon---


      Christine: ---reads off the back cover--- “Mittens the Gruslen looked up at the red balloon floating in front of him. It neither flew up nor came down. He kept looking at it the entire day...” I wonder what will happen next.

     Maldice: Sounds boring to me.

     Ella: I’d like to read it! ---starts reading---

          ---Once she finishes, the book disappears in a puff of smoke.---

      Angie: I wish we had another one... Could you tell me what it was about?

     Ella: Sure. Mittens grabbed the string of the balloon, which turned out to be magical. It carried him up to a magical village on a cloud. When he got there, the Petpets that lived there asked for his help in redirecting an asteroid which was about to hit their village and destroy it.

     Angie: Then what happened?

     Ella: Well, I don’t want to completely spoil it for you... Why don’t you find another copy and read it to find out?

     Angie: Good idea!

          ---Striped Balloons---



     Maldice: Well, this is the most useless Battledome item in existence. It deals TWO air icons and ONE light icon, and blocks anywhere from 0.2-2 physical icons. ---laughs--- You are WAY better off with a Sword of Ari.

     Angie: True... Sword of Ari is worth the price! Bring your 10 percent discount coupon if you have one.

     Ella: The balloons may be an absolute joke in the Battledome, but at least they’re pretty!

     Maldice: I have an idea... Bring the balloons into the Battledome. Your opponent will fall over laughing, and will be stunned long enough for you to brandish your Sword of Ari and win!

     Ella: True... Think of it as a freezer. No need to buy a Freezing Potion!


      Christine: So, which item was everyone’s favourite?

     Angie: Probably the Circle of Balloons. So colourful!

     Ella: Mittens and the Red Balloon, since it was an interesting and fun read.

     Maldice: The Kiko Water Balloon, since I turned it into a bomb!

     Christine: Anyway, this birthday season, there is a balloon-themed item for everyone. Until next time, dear readers!

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