Dubloon Disaster - It Will Get You Hooked...

     Breaking News! - After a successful raid on Warf Wharf, a small pirate ship tried to escape... but its crew didn't count on the most feared pirate ship of all, the Black Pawkeet, showing up to intercept them.

     -from the side- "ARGHHHHHH"

     What? Oh... no, it's not pirates this time, they continue to plague Krawk Island… but that's a story for another time. Ay, the critters in question are….HOMING MINES!!!

     -collective gasps all around- AAHHHHH!!!!!!

     Close enough. That is no exaggerated scream! This is no small threat, readers. Homing mines are on the loose and you know what this means?! They are coming for that booty. Yes, you heard correctly: booty; what pirates sail the seven seas to covet. It's horrific, but there may be some hope yet... in the form of Shploofs. *insert cool superhero tune here* Over to you, Shploofs!

     Well, thank you! Dear reader, grave times are ahead, but follow these tips and all will be well. I hope you're all ready to play Dubloon Disaster.

     First, a history lesson...

     Dubloon Disaster first appeared in the Games room on January 12, 2007.

     Do you suffer from motion sickness? If so, there are steps you can take to make your disaster more enjoyable.

     Before you start your game, go to “Game Options” as pictured above, and uncheck the box for water effects. This extra step helps ensure that your game will run smoothly. Sure, the ripple animations are a nice touch, but honestly, they aren't worth the potential distraction or lag.

     We don’t want to have a ‘Barf boat’ situation on our hands. That happened to a cousin of mine. We’ve been banned from sailing to Lutari island ever since.

     Barf boat… that was my nickname at the Swashbuckling Academy. Anyways, back to the main event.

     First, an explanation into how this all works.

     With every Dubloon you collect, a new homing mine will appear and pursue you across the screen. If any of those mines touch you, it's game over.

     Use the arrow keys to manoeuvre your boat across the seven seas. The left and right arrow keys are used for steering: left to rotate counterclockwise and right for clockwise.

     Sounds simple, right? As simple as escaping a deserted island on a couple of Maraquan Shoyru…

     True story. That happened to my grandpa one time.

     Anyways, there are a number of Dubloons which can assist you in your quest for the avatar.

     They are as follows:

     Two Dubloon Coin - Fairly self-explanatory. This dubloon is worth ten points. What is the old adage? “Though she be but little?” or something… Collect these dubloons. They just might be the necessary bump to get you to the avatar score. They appear most frequently in the game.

     Five Dubloon Coin - Ooo, shiny! This dubloon is worth twenty-five points. Is that skull looking at me? o_O

     Ten Dubloon Coin - This dubloon is worth fifty points. Go buy yourself a nice meal at the Golden dubloon for me, kiddo.

     Twenty Dubloon Coin - This dubloon is worth one-hundred points. That is how much one would make after 8 hours of honest work in the Grundo warehouse...

     Fifty Dubloon Coin - This dubloon is worth two-hundred and fifty points. You’ll be able to purchase a sad spell at the smuggler’s dubloon.

     One Hundred Dubloon Coin - I love goooooold! The smell of it, the look of it, the texture. o_O *erm* I digress... This dubloon is worth five hundred points. Collect a couple of these and you will be on your way to the avatar score…

     Two Hundred Dubloon Coin - Behold! The rarest dubloon in the game. It appears about as often as Jacko the Phantom painter…Hopefully, your luck is better than mine. This dubloon is worth one thousand points.

     So, that's the basics... Sail the seven seas. Collect dubloons. Dodge the homing mines.

     Any questions? Clear as mud?

     Now for the slightly advanced tips. After you've gotten familiar with all of the above, you'll find you're easily reaching 1,000 points or so. Unfortunately, This won’t be enough to get an avatar. One determined pirate must submit a score of 2,500+ points in order to unlock the avatar.

     There are a few more tips that are going to be of great help.

     Have patience. At times, You may feel that you are trapped and unable to collect the Dubloon on your screen. Do not give up. Do not ever give up. Gradually guide the homing mines away from the dubloon. This will give you enough space to collect the dubloon at ease.

     Firstly, type "scallywags" at an appropriate time during the game. This will magically create a whirlpool. Another chance to defeat the homing mines and bump up your score a little. This can only be done once each time you load the game. If you want to use it again, you will have to close the game, and reload it. See? Your parents were right. Vegetables are good for you!

     Be careful not to get sucked into the whirlpool. I do not think we have liability insurance for the boat…

     Secondly, use space to your advantage. This will take a bit of getting used to, but they can greatly enhance your score.

     Example: To create more space, you will want to cause the homing mines to run into each other. This requires you to take a little bit of risk. Guide your boat in tight circles around the homing mines to collect the dubloons. This will move the homing mines closer to one another.

     Got that? Good. You're well on your way to being a "Dubloon Disaster" Champion!!!.

     Oh, and I have one final tip - the most important one of all! DO NOT PANIC. You'll only end up dying to a homing mine and make it harder for yourself.

     Try it yourself. See what tactics work for you and have fun playing one of the best games ever.

     Good Luck.

     Drink up me hearties yo ho!