Trouble in Paradise

     Bright torchlight flickered off the puzzle wall containing depictions of ancient Geraptiku warriors, petpets, and celestial bodies such as stars, the sun, and Kreludor. Three columns framed either side of the door, each containing three rows of moveable panels. Nine different rotatable images could be found on each row.

     Mipsy carefully leafed through each of the petpet panels. The first was a Lizark, a reptilian creature with a ring of hard plates around its neck and skull-like mask upon its face. A Morkou, which looked almost Xweetok-like in shape, but with long, spiny quills jutting down the back and hanging perpendicular to its shoulders. And the Bazatlan, which was Korbat-like in form, with long, scooped-up ears like a Cybunny, beady eyes, and wings that wrapped around them like a blanket.

     She next inspected the warriors, all of whom were wearing ceremonial regalia. The one, a Gelert priestess, wore a long shawl with intricate celestial patterns. Along the edges of her shawl were fringed ribbons. Her gaze was turned skywards and both of her paws raised up, allowing her shawl to spread out like a pair of wings. To the priestess’ right was a Skeith wearing skeletal war paint. A tunic wrapped around their waist and a decorative necklace with a large jewel sat upon their neck. Their hands sat opposite one another, with their left pointing to the sky and their right to the ground. Their eyes pointed downwards. Finally, the third was a warrioress Xweetok who wore a long tunic. Feathers on her regalia pointed from her back and flared off of her shoulders. On her face, she wore a mask of war paint and her pointed gaze bore straight, as if staring right through them. Her hands pointed opposite the Skeith’s, with her right hand skyward and her left towards the ground.

     The third set of panels were simpler; a circle with a ring of squiggly lines around the edge, a carved in circle, and four stars in the shape of a diamond.

     Velm had been scanning for trouble, and to his great relief, not detected any sound from the nearby rooms. He had, however, noticed a strange carving above the door. Grabbing the torch, he held it on the ruins. A few of the characters were familiar to him from bardic texts, songs, and poems.

     The Techo squinted his eyes as he struggled in the low light to make out the characters. “Sun… Neopia. Moon… Darkness. Stars… Dawn.”

     “You can read that?” asked Mipsy in surprise, as she started to spin the panels.

     “Yeah, sort of.” He traced his finger over the symbols once more, muttering out loud. “I think it’s a hint to solving the puzzle.”

     “Can you read the whole thing?”

     “No,” he admitted with a sigh. A bardic encyclopedia of songs played through his head as he desperately tried to recall any tunes from Mystery Island. “But I think this one says ‘heat,’ like the ‘sun heats Neopia.’ This one next to the word for moon kind of reminds me of the word for ‘light,’ so let’s use that for now. And this one… I’m not sure.”

     “So, what do we have then?”

     “Sun heats Neopia, moon lights darkness, stars dawn.”

     “It’s a good start.”

     First, they tried matching all the same cosmic panels in a row, with the sun panels being first row, moon second, and stars third. When that didn’t work, they started spinning one at a time, trying to make every possible combination.

     After a short while, the two grew increasingly anxious, wondering aloud when their time limit would be up.

     “Maybe we should look for another way out?” asked Mipsy. She was fiddling nervously with her wand between attempts.

     “I mean, we could at least try using the rope…”

     “Giving up? That doesn’t sound like you two.”

     Both Mipsy and Velm turned to face Drew, who had since woken up and sandwiched himself against a wall. He still slumped against his knees as he spoke.

     “You’re okay!” cried Mipsy, who rushed in to give him a hug, but stopped herself about a foot away. “Uh, I mean. I’m glad you’re okay…” she finished awkwardly, rubbing her arms and avoiding eye contact.

     “Okay is relative,” he said weakly, “but enough about me. There’s no doubt in my mind now: you schmucks are from the ‘Heroic Four.’ I’ve never seen her use a poison this potent… or this painful. She really wanted to incapacitate you both.”

     “Seems that way,” said Velm as he bent down next to him and inspected his wounds. “Your gash here concerns me... Heal.” The sores closed, but still seemed discoloured from the poison. Velm scrunched his face in frustration before flicking his eyes up at Drew. “You didn’t believe us before?”

     “I did say tentatively.”

     “How are you feeling now? Did that help at all?” Velm questioned as he picked up the Xweetok’s arm and prodded it. “Can you feel my touch here?” Drew gave an unamused look. “I’ve seen poisons before, but nothing quite like—”

     “Enough fretting over me,” Drew interrupted, yanking his arm away. “If that Guardian catches us, it’ll be moot.”

     Velm bit his lip. “Fair point.”

     Drew pried himself up and pointed to the columns. “Each side starts with a messenger, which is the petpet, a warrior who translates the message, and the sun, moon, or stars who receives it. The full text is as follows: ‘The sun warms the earth, the moon lightens the darkness, and the stars guide us towards a new dawn.’”

     Both heroes gave him a perplexed stare.

     “You didn’t think a thief would know ancient glyphs? When my entire profession is sneaking into potentially dangerous places and liberating treasure?”

     Velm opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it.

     “Alright then, Drew,” said Mipsy, her hands nimbly working through the puzzle. “Which glyphs match up where?”

     The thief rubbed his paws together. “Well, it’s as easy as—”

     WHAM.

     A door a few chambers away slammed open. The trio’s eyes widened in panic.

     “If you want us to survive, do exactly as I say,” said Drew. Neither of them had time to question that. “Velm, to the right. Mipsy, stay on left.”

     “Got it,” said Velm.

     “Okay!’

     “Mipsy, Morkou is top left, followed by sun warrioress—”

     “Which is that?!” her voice squeaked.

     “The Xweetok.”

     “Alrighty!”

     “Sun warrioress in center, sun symbol at right. Velm, the sun should be on left—closest to the door—warrior center, Morkou right.”

     “Okay!” Mipsy and Velm said in unison as they frantically turned the columns.

     “Middle row, same format. Lizark, Skeith warrior, and moon. Reverse for you, Velm.”

     They turned the columns faster this time. A room away, they could hear the Temple Guardian slithering towards them.

     “Last three! Bazatlan, Gelert priestess, stars.”

     Mipsy and Velm were well on their way to finishing the puzzle before Drew could finish his sentence. As the last pieces spun into place, there was a satisfying click noise from the door. It began to crank up just as the Guardian entered the room.

     “Can’t let you do that,” they hissed, as they charged forward with the spear. “I refuse to have two escapees today.”

     Before Mipsy could respond, Drew threw three daggers, two of which they dodged and one scratched their neck. The Hissi roared in fury before throwing their spear straight at Drew’s heart. Mipsy dove in, pressing Drew’s body to the ground before the spear dug itself into a column above their heads. It jammed between the carved sigils.

     The door’s mechanism screeched to a halt, eliciting a laugh from the Guardian.

     “Now you’ll never escape.”

     “Watch us,” said Velm. “Mesmerization.”

     Having been hit by this before, the Hissi shielded themselves with a winged hand. Still, the few seconds bought by the distraction gave time for Mipsy to pry herself off the floor, apologize to Drew, and yank the spear free.

     Drew coughed in pain from the ground. “Not dead,” he wheezed as Velm cast “Panacea.” “Juuuust fine.”

     “This is a sacred treasure, right?” asked Mipsy, her wand pointed directly at the spear in her paw. Meanwhile, Drew shakily spun the contraption with his purple paw. Velm cast “Protection of Infinity” once again while she bantered.

     “Yes.” The Hissi’s eyes narrowed. “Why?”

     “Then I guess you wouldn’t like it if I fired an Obliterate directly on your master’s spear, then.”

     “You insolent—”

     “Ah-ah-ah,” crooned Mipsy—or at least, she attempted to sing the phrase. It ended up sounding more dramatic than she had intended. “I’ll toss you the spear, but only after we’re safe from harm.”

     You could have sworn that she insulted the Guardian’s parents by the fury in their eyes and the way that they bared their fangs. When they slithered closer, Mipsy pressed the wand against the spear’s regal charm.

     “Obl—”

     “You win,” the Guardian threw their hands into the air, “…disgusting thieves.”

     A flash of anger went across Mipsy’s face. “Like I said, we’re not thieves. You’ll have it back when we’re safe—but only then.”

     The Hissi scrunched his winged hands and snarled, but did not approach as the mechanism brought the door to about half-way… and screeched to a halt.

     “That’s about all your gonna get,” said Drew, as he wobbled about.

     “Velm, Drew, you two go first. I’ll go last… to give the Guardian their spear.”

     “If you’re sure,” said Velm, clearly unsure as he eyed the Hissi with suspicion.

     “Positive.”

     After Drew hobbled first through the entranceway, Velm followed closely behind. The cleric backed his way in while keeping a close eye on Mipsy and the Guardian. The Hissi’s gaze travelled among them all with a look that could kill. If not for Mipsy’s quick thinking, that intent would have surely been delivered.

     After a solid minute or so, Mipsy called back to the injured duo while locking her gaze with the Guardian. She kept her wand hand steady and pointed at the spear in case he considered breaking his promise.

     “We’re almost out,” said Velm. “Drew’s just out of breath right now and can’t talk.”

     “Speak… for yourself…” he huffed.

     At this point, the Hissi’s tail thumped impatiently against the ground, causing it to rumble. “I tire of this game.”

     She slowly dropped to her knees and placed the spear on the ground while backing up towards the door. “I’m leaving now. The spear is yours. Let us go in peace.”

     Instead of responding, their tongue flicked, then retracted.

     “I’ll take that as a yes, then.” Mipsy began to crawl backwards with the cavern in sight just in case she had to defend herself.

     About half-way there, she heard a loud whooshing coming from inside the temple, followed by the scraping of the door’s mechanism slowly creeping downwards.

     “Eep!” Mipsy shouted, causing Velm to make panicked noises from outside the temple.

     In response, the Guardian let out a deep, rumbled laugh. “Defend yourself or attempt to flee. Either way, you perish, thief.”

     Mipsy bit her lip. “Rapid acceleration!” she said it quickly, as she scrambled closer to the light. The space grew smaller with every passing second and pressed painfully against her ears and horns.

     Mipsy’s breath came out rapidly as she prepared for the worst. She closed her eyes.

     Screeeeeeech.

     “I got you, Sweetheart!”

     The door had not collapsed. A loud scraping sound was coming from outside, from where Drew had lodged one of his daggers into the mechanism and was desperately trying to force it open. Beyond that, a shimmering, opaque wall of energy seemed to be holding the wall as well.

     “Celestial hammer.” Velm said it through gritted teeth as he wielded the weapon with both hands and forced it back against the strength of the door. Tears were streaming down his face as he struggled against the door’s weight.

     She wasted no time scurrying back. The second she rolled out into the open air, the spell vanished, causing the door to slam with alarming force. Both Drew and Velm were flung back and made a pained cough when they landed.

     The three of them lay sprawled on the ground as they caught their breath, taking in the muted light of the forest around them. Velm was first to let out a laugh as he sandwiched his arm against his body, then Mipsy… and finally Drew.

     “You’re insane,” Drew said, too tired to move. “You both are absolutely out of your minds…”

     Velm nudged Drew with his good arm. “What does that make you, then?” A grunt was his only reply.

     “But it worked, didn’t it?” Mipsy sighed with relief, hugging the nearby lute that she had, against all odds, managed to pull to safety. She paused for a few seconds before adding, “Drew, did you call me sweetheart again?”

     He winked. “Who’s to say. But your ‘I’m going to destroy the spear’ schtick?” Drew said as he glowered at a dagger that was bent into a V, “I can’t believe they bought it.”

     Mipsy cleared her throat and did her best impression of the thief lying inches from her head. “My acting skills were good enough to fool the Guardian—and that’s what matters.”

     “I don’t sound that nasally.”

     She only shrugged a reply.

     “I dunno,” said Velm. “I think she was spot-on.”

      Drew tightened his fist and dropped it on top of Velm’s stomach, eliciting a pained “oof” from him.

     “Think they’ll be back?” Mipsy rolled up from the ground and dusted herself off.

     “I sure hope not,” said Velm. “I’m pretty much tapped out.”

     “That makes two of us.”

     “And I’m alive,” muttered Drew, “that’s all you’re getting out of me for now. But I must know, seeing as Mipsy was nearly squashed to save it, why do you care so much about that lute?”

     Prior to this, Velm had looked positively jovial for someone who narrowly escaped death. But as soon as he heard mention of Lucy, he reached for the instrument and held her tightly. Mipsy chose to avert her eyes and stare instead at the distant forest.

     “I suppose you have the right to know,” he started, picking a note with his sore fingers. “She was—is—my travelling partner.”

     “I get that,” he said with annoyance, “but I—”

     “No.” He sighed, as he stared longingly at the instrument. “You don’t get it. She was the one I travelled with before I met Rohane. She was the one who performed with me all over the Lost Desert.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “She was the one who I failed to save.”

     The thief gave him a confused stare. “I’m afraid I don’t follow. Are you talking about an instrument or not?”

     Tears filled Velm’s eyes so he burrowed his face into his sleeve. “Her name and my instrument’s name are the same. We were adventurers, aiding villages that were often forgotten. We should have known when we were in too deep, but we were young. Reckless. Invincible. If it wasn’t for me, she wouldn’t have—” he broke into quiet sobs as Mipsy patted his back. A few minutes passed. He sniffled loudly before taking a loud breath. “But now she can live on through music, just like she wanted us to… together.”

     The thief reached out his paw towards the cleric, but retracted it back. He kept his thoughts to himself and quickly brushed his eyes with a finger before they could see.

     The three of them laid atop the tower for a solid hour before they started to drag themselves towards town. They shuffled slowly, pushing gently past the vegetation while avoiding the slithering, slimy, or squawky inhabitants of the lost city of Geraptiku. On the way back, Drew not-so-subtly asked Mipsy for her gold, which she handed to him once Velm had explained the thief’s “commission.” As he counted the Neopoints one-by-one, he walked straight into a tree, causing both heroes to laugh out loud. When the sunlight finally poured through the trees, a beckoning hand of the sandy beaches beyond, the three breathed a sigh of relief. It was perhaps mid-day. They had spent well over 12 hours trapped in the hidden tomb.

     “Thank Skarl…” breathed Mipsy. She saw in the distance what looked to be a hotel and quickened her pace.

     The Techo practically fell to his knees with joy. “Coltzan’s ghost, is this a welcome sight…”

     The footprints of the skeletal creatures seemed faded, as if from hours before, and from what they could tell, little structural damage was dealt to the nearby buildings. Unsurprisingly, few Neopians were currently around, though.

     A hotel employee, a short-statured island Mynci with luxurious black hair, gasped in horror at the state of them and immediately called for a local healer. While they were waiting, the employee found chairs for them to sit in and handed them each a glass full of water. Both Mipsy and Velm give it a solid stare-down and a sniff before ultimately taking a swig.

     "Do you know if the employees at the Shady Palm Resort were ever untied?" asked Velm, recalling that Carissa had captured them earlier. “That’s the place where my friend and I were staying before all of this went down.”

     "Yes," the Mynci said with a nod. "During all the chaos before, we stumbled upon them, passed-out cold and shoved in a storage closet. As far as I know, all those poor Neopians should be just fine, thank the stars. The healer made it to them quickly enough to help."

     Velm sighed with relief. "I'm glad they're okay."

     After walking into a back room, the Mynci tossed Drew an oversized, highly stylized “Mystery Island” t-shirt that the thief begrudgingly put on over the tattered remains of his sweat-stained clothes. When Drew tried to duck away (something about it being a thief’s way to find their own protection) Velm pulled him in.

     “You’re a Magicannon now, Drew. We’re not letting you disappear just like that.” The Techo fully expected his companion to gag, to deny it, to hem and haw about how he’d never participant in something so “mushy,” but instead… he was met with silence.

     “Hey Drew, you okay?” Mipsy waved her hand in front of his face and he flinched.

     “Gah! Sorry. I’m just thinking about things.” The two magic specialists stared expectantly at him, causing him to bend away and make a strained expression. “What in Neopia is wrong with you?” the thief finally asked, stepping a solid 6 feet away.

     “You apologized.” Velm sounded genuinely shocked. “Sincerely.”

     “And the problem is?” The Xweetok’s brows furrowed.

     “No problem,” said Mipsy.

     “Just a surprise, is all.”

     “Oh, is that all.”

     There was an awkward silence as they waited for him to say more. He just stood there staring at them with a look of bemusement.

     In an attempt to break the tension, Mipsy took an exaggerated breath. “Before I forget”—she removed the necklace from her neck and place it into Drew’s open paw—“this is yours.”

     In the bright island light, the gold trim around the former tyrant king’s tooth shimmered with radiant splendour. Small gems encrusted the charm, making it even more spectacular from a distance. Drew spun the tooth in his paw, taking in the many ways in which light brought out the beauty of the object.

     “I can see why you called it a crown.”

     “I was going for a double meaning, actu—”

     “Because this thing will fetch a good price on the market. That old talisman or whatever was so dingy, no Neopian in their right might would want it.” He closed his eyes and sighed, as if wanting badly to convince himself of this. “It’s okay that I failed my mission.” Or that I turned on Carissa, who escaped the tomb and will surely tell the guild about my betrayal, he mentally added as his heart sank.

     “Well,” Velm laid his good hand on Drew’s shoulder and for once, the Xweetok didn’t pull away. “I’m glad you made the right business choice.”

     The Xweetok fastened the necklace around his neck. “Speaking of, after our business has concluded here, I’m heading out… on my own.”

     He was met with a low whine from Mipsy. “You don’t have to go, you know?”

     “And here I thought you wanted me gone.” He quirked a brow. “I guess I really poured on the charm.”

     Velm took a long sip of the water and exhaled lightly. “You certainly grew on us… or should I say Drew on us.”

     Even the Mynci employee groaned at that one. Both Drew and Mipsy made a point of loudly facepalming.

     “But that doesn’t make us friends,” the thief added hastily.

     “But it does make us allies.” Sitting up, Velm looked Drew straight in the bi-coloured eyes. “And as an ally, you’re always welcome to adventure with us. And if you’re ever in danger…”

     The Xweetok smirked. “I’ll tell Neopians I got connections, powerful ones.”

     “You need us? We’ll come on the double,” added Mipsy.

     Velm’s voice softened. “Yeah, that’s right.”

     Before long, the healer, a female blue Krawk with a light green tunic and shorts, sprinted towards them. There was a stethoscope wrapped around her neck and a small name tag that read “Dr. Lila Jean.” The second she arrived, Velm immediately turned her attention to Drew, who had since found himself a nice corner of the beach to sprawl out on. When she called his name, he took a few seconds to respond before losing the sweet fruit that he had bragged about all over the sand. The healer grimaced as she approached the thief and gently carried him into the shade with Mipsy’s aid. While the Mynci laid a wet rag on his head, she spoke at length (or at much length as the thief could muster) about his symptoms and created a cure on the spot.

     “It looks like he was poisoned by a nasty toxin,” Dr. Jean started as Velm eagerly took notes, “one collected from the slime of a mutant Lizark. He’s lucky, that sort of thing has been known to”—she paused when she saw Drew swigging down the potion—“drink it slowly or you’ll have terrible bloating.” He lowered the glass bottle and burped. “Small sips are enough.”

     “But aren’t they, um, pets?” asked Mipsy, noticing all of the Lizark memorabilia scattered around the hotel.

     “To an extent, but there’s a reason these petpets are associated with expiration…” she waved over at a blanket with a skull motif. At the center was a Lizark with its left paw pointing skywards and it's right towards the ground. “It’s their natural toxins. Well, that and their facial appearance, of course. They’re sacred to the ancient Geraptikuwans as a messenger to the afterlife.”

     “An afterlife that I came way too close to for comfort,” Drew muttered under his breath before making a particularly loud and long burp.

     Mipsy couldn’t help but giggle as the thief’s face turned a bright shade of fuchsia. The potion seemed to do the trick, as Drew was back to his spry self within a short time… plus excessive belching.

     Evidently, the doctor was well aware of who Mipsy and Velm were, but kept it on the downlow until they were alone. She admonished Velm as she gently splinted his arm, saying that he would not have full use of it for at least six weeks. As a healer, he simply nodded and agreed.

     “But I’ll take a twice broken arm over a lost friend any day,” he stated, bringing the two of them in for a hug. Drew crossed his arms and grumbled, but did not resist.

     “He pulled a Rohane,” added Mipsy, to the general confusion of all but her magical companion. She pointed straight at him before shifting towards the thief. “So did Drew, actually. I guess it’s something every member of our team has done at one point or another.”

     Dr. Jean sighed lightly. “Please don’t tell me the ‘Hero of Five Lands’ made a habit of this, too…”

     “He did.” Both heroes said it in unison.

      “And yet somehow you all lived…” She massaged her head.

     Mipsy only needed some minor healing and exhaustion potions for her muscle aches, but had otherwise been relatively injury-free.

     With the three of them cared for, the doctor turned to them and said, “I paid for your stay here, by the way. Consider it a thanks from my father.”

     “W-wow. That’s very kind, thank you. But from your… father?” Velm tilted his head in confusion. “Have we… met him somewhere?”

     “Yeah,” she answered simply. “John Jean. He’s a stubborn old adventurer, a Krawk with an eye patch and cane. You met at the Shady Sepulcher Inn about a year ago. He’s told me all about your “singing swordsman”—multiple times—and how he had a run in with a sludge Kau. He also told me all about your successes in Faerieland.”

     Drew’s ears twitched with interest. “Not that I care,” he said, although the slightest wag in his tail betrayed this, “but what do you mean, a ‘singing swordsman?’”

     Mipsy and Velm exchanged a look.

     “Uhh…” Mipsy fidgeted nervously. “It’s not my story to tell. And I’m not sure if Rohane wants it told, either.”

     “Rohane?” Drew’s eyes widened. “The guy from your old adventuring crew?”

     Mipsy slapped her forehead. “Mortogs.”

     “Well, if the Kadoatie’s already out of the bag anyway… might as well.” Velm motioned to Mipsy who held his lute with one hand while he strummed with his right. “You have some time, right, Drew?”

     The thief shrugged. “I’ve got time to kill.”

     “Then it’s time I regale you with my bardic talent.” Velm cleared his throat. “This is a little tale I like to call: ‘A Hero’s Ballad…’”

     ~~The End~~

     Author’s Note: to read Velm’s bardic tale, start here:

     A Hero’s Ballad: Part 1

     //www.neopets.com/ntimes/index.phtml?section=581982&week=913. A big thank you to Twillieblossom and Precious_katuch14 for their continued support and feedback on this series.