Where there's a Weewoo, there's a way Circulation: 196,538,512 Issue: 923 | 18th day of Celebrating, Y22
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10 Reasons to Spend the Holidays on Roo Island


by shresthi

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10 Reasons why you should spend your Holidays in Roo Island.

     A Most Amazing Tourist Brochure by Mr. Regularoo Totallynotkingroo.

     As the spirit of the Holidays spreads all around Neopia, hundreds of neopets prepare to travel to spend the week of Borovan Day and the Day of Giving in a nice destination. As any tourist, you probably want to spend the Holidays in the Jolliest, Happiest, BESTEST place on Neopia. Which is OBVIOUSLY Roo Island. Surprisingly, most neopians, around this time of the year, choose to make the mistake trip to another place that disputes my King Roo's claim that Roo Island is the Jolliest Bestest place on Neopia. The so-called "Happy" Valley. Many tourists are attracted to Happy Valley because of the little Winter Starlight Celebration village they build, with their Advent Calendar, stockings in chimneys, snow, and the very doubtful claim that they make the best borovan. A claim that is disputed by Roo Island ever since The Coffee Cave moved there from their old location in Neopia Central. Anyways, back to the point. Happy Valley is not the happiest jolliest place. It is located in Terror Mountain! It is called TERROR Mountain, not Jolly Mountain, or Happy Mountain, or Bestest Borovan Mountain. So that's why the amazing, wonderful, funny, spectacular, kind and genius King Roo that is totally not me because I am the famous journalist Regularoo Totallynotkingroo, has commissioned this great travel brochure article thingy for the Neopian Times, so everyone can know to visit the REAL jolliest happiest place on Neopia in this joyous occasion of the holidays celebration.

     

     The REAL jolliest, happiest place on Neopia

     So let me tell you why you should visit Roo Island this year, instead of boring snowy terrormountainy Happy Valley:

     1. The climate:

     First of all, who even likes snow? It's cold, it's wet, and it doesn't make for a very good bouncing surface. Roo Island, on the other hand, enjoys a very lovely weather of all-year-round warmth, with lovely daily showers that create so many wonderful puddles to jump on. It's fun, amazing, bouncy and perfect and you should totally prefer it over Happy Valley's boring snow.

     

     According to the Neopedia, Roo Island's article: "Weather: Warm all year round, light showers daily". Also, snow can hit you in the face.

     2. The entertainment:

     You must have noticed that the Games Room is located in Roo Island, right? You will never run out of fun in here! Even the King himself is always playing! Although he has his own Tournament Hall, where you can try to win delicious treats, neopoints, or even lottery tickets playing Dice-A-Roo against me the King!.

     

     Play Dice-A-Roo with King Roo!

     3. The Borovan:

     Grandma Roo has the best borovan recipe, that's indisputable. The Coffee Cave is the number one borovan provider in Neopia. And the kind shopkeeper's customer service is so good, the Plushie Palace sells plushies of her. I recommend you try the Holiday Borovan Service, which they serve in their finest holiday-themed tea set. And, if you really, really MUST have the snow, you can try the Abominable Snowball Borovan, which is probably the only form of snow I would consider acceptable.

     

     Their beautiful holiday tea set, and the lovely Abominable Snowball are surely going to put you in a holiday mood!

     4. Springy Things:

     We have springy things. Does Happy Valley have springy things? Take that, Happy Valley!

     

     Springy things are the best things to ever thing.

     5. The Art District:

     We have the Art District, located in Blumaria, close to the Games Room. Poetry, art, stories, anything creative, we have it. The art gallery will soothe your soul and bring you happiness, and the poetry and storytelling are the absolute best in the Whole Wide Neopia. It is a calming kind of fun, and you can bring your elderly neopets here. Our elderly blumaroos like to sit here and enjoy their borovan together, in a beautiful picture of family holiday warmth.

     

     We have ART

     6. You can bring your elders:

     As per the above point, I would like to emphasize that our island is a safe, fun and secure place to bring your elderly neopet grandmas and grandpas. You don't really want to take them to a place where they can slip and fall, or where their grandma and grandpa knees will hurt because of the cold. So, bring them here instead! They'll love it!.

     

     My grandpa says I'm right and you should listen to me.

     7. The Merry-Go-Round:

     It is merry. It goes round. What more could you possibly want.

     

     It goes ROUND @_@

     8. The Snowager:

     We don't have it. That's why you should come here. Why would you want to spend your holidays anywhere CLOSE to a giant, scary, icy monster?? It is said that it sleeps the whole month of Celebrating, but what if it wakes up? WHAT IF IT WAKES UP?

     

     WHAT IF IT WAKES UP

     9. We don't have ice:

     So you can't slip and hurt your tail. Nobody wants to spend the holidays in the Neohospital nursing a broken tail. Well, you can still hurt your tail if you bounce too much on it, to be fair. We do have our fair share of excitement-related-excessive-bouncing tail injuries around this time of the year, but who can blame us? Bouncing IS the best mode of transportation. It's fun and you get where you are going really fast! Blumaroo approved! We always say it here in Roo Island. Our preferred mode of transportation is BOUNCE.

     

     BOUNCE

     10. We have a Royal Palace:

     Happy Valley does NOT have a palace. They have an ice cave, and a giant igloo. And a Royal Palace is MUCH better.

     

     Look at it. It's so ROYAL.

     IN CONCLUSION:

     You should TOTALLY spend your holidays in Roo Island this year. And every year. Because we are the jolliest, happiest, and every day is a holiday here. Also, we have gummy dice you can use to decorate your tree. And we would be delighted to have you! Best customer service, because we LOVE visitors! And we don't eat our visitors like a certain Snowbeast, or blast our visitors with ice like a certain Snowager, and we DEFINITELY won't roll you into a giant ball of snow. So, what are you waiting for! Make your reservation! Come to have borovan with us, and sing holiday songs with us, and bring your Day of Giving gifts... One for the King too, you know... Because it would be polite... Yep, bring your gifts, please and thank you :) ok? ok.

     

     Please, bring your gifts :)

     DISCLAIMER: This article was written by famous journalist Regularoo Totallynotkingroo. It was totally not written by King Roo. King Roo is super busy doing royalty things like playing Dice-A-Roo and helping blumaroos to be happy and to not injure their tails very often. Thank you.

 
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