Journeying Near Haunted Houses

     So you want to know about haunted houses, eh? Well, let us tell you something straight out the gate: DON’T GO NEAR THEM! Don’t go in them, don’t walk by them, don’t even look at them! They are dangerous, not just because of the ghouls and monsters that haunt them, but most are a real safety hazard. Rotting stairs and broken floorboards can hurt you just as much as the ghosts that reside there, trust me we know. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fallen through the first floor into the basement. Unless you’re expert ghoul catchers like us, there is no reason to go anywhere near haunted houses. However, if you find yourself somehow getting stuck in a haunted house, we have a list of ten items you will need in order to make it out alive.

     1. Ghoul Catchers Coat of Containment: This coat is important for catching and containing ghouls. The pack on the back is made of iron, the perfect cage for restraining ghosts as they notoriously hate iron. The Sonic Neutralizer attached to it is simple to use, just point it at said ghost, click the button, and boom! Ghost captured! This coat is an absolute necessity for expert ghoul catchers, and is available for purchase at our website for a small fee of 50 million Neopoints. Batteries not included.

     2. Handy mDB Experiometer: Ghosts aren’t the only entities that could be haunting a house; monsters also lurk amongst the shadows of these deserted buildings. This item is also a necessity for expert ghoul catchers, the Handy mDB Experiometer is used to lull any monsters or ghosts in the surrounding area to sleep. Small enough to carry in your Ghoul Catchers Coat of Containment, you will need magical plants in order to produce the melody. Set up is… time-consuming, but let me tell ya, once you’ve got the perfect melody, those monsters won’t stand a chance. Just make sure you have the correct mDB frequency, otherwise, you may put yourself to sleep.

     3. Flask of Liquid Light: A simple yet necessary tool, you’re going to need this item to light up your surroundings. You won’t find any light switches or lamps working in these houses, so it’s important to provide your own light source. Kind of a no brainer really. You don’t want to be stumbling around in the dark while looking for ghosts and monsters.

     4. Salt Mote: Ghosts hate salt. Don’t ask us why, they just do. You can use a Salt Mote to protect a room or use it to do some damage to any attacking ghosts. In a pinch (get it?) you can use it to make a protective circle around yourself while you get your Handy mDB Experiometer ready. Salt Motes are vital in warding off ghosts, but don’t attempt to use on vampires or werelupes. They don’t appreciate getting a handful of salt to the face.

     5. Garlic Shield: But you know what will help you against vampires? Garlic Shield. Vampires detest garlic (and I mean who can blame them, garlic is disgusting) and are susceptible to its horrid stench. Just hang this around your neck and vampires will run in fear. Although if you’re looking for a fight with a vamp, you’re going to need our next item…

     6. Wooden Vampire Stake: A crucial weapon to have when fighting vamps, the Wooden Vampire Stake is the ultimate vampire-slaying weapon. Count Von Roo doesn’t stand a chance against this simple piece of wood. Its hand-carved out of elmwood and blessed by Queen Fyora herself. One hit with this and those vampires will turn to dust.

     7. Iron Lupe Sword: For some reason, many monsters are weak to iron, so the Iron Lupe Sword is a great weapon to have against any otherworldly creature that crosses your path. The upside is that it’s made from the strongest iron in all of Neopia and it practically unbreakable; the downside is that only Lupe’s can use it. If you’re not a Lupe, make sure to bring a Lupe friend with you who can wield this sword.

     8. Silver Sai: This is a useful weapon against fighting werelupes, zombies, and wraiths. These creatures are all weak to silver, so you could use any silver weapon against them, but we highly recommend the Silver Sai. It's sleek-looking and lightweight, which is important to look for in any weapon. Plus, you look like a ninja while wielding it!

     9. Fire: Any weapons made of fire are useful against pretty much most monsters. Some great weapon choices are the Fire Sword, Flask of Liquid Fire, Slingshot of Fire, or Fire Mote. Be careful not to burn yourself, though. Ghoul catchers with burnt off eyebrows are not cool.

     10. Pie: Okay, so this isn’t going to help you out fighting ghosts and monsters, but pie is an important meal for any ghoul catcher! Some delicious Apple Pie is just what you need after a long day of catching ghosts and vanquishing vampires. It doesn’t even need to be Apple Pie either; you can have Blueberry Pie, Cherry Pie, even Chocolate Cream Pie. Any pie will do so long as it’s delicious! And it’s the perfect way to end to a hard day of ghoul catching.

     Kell: I love me some pie!

     Corbin: *sigh* Yes we know.

     There you have it; our comprehensive list of all the items you’ll need if you intend to enter a haunted house. Be advised, just because you have cool gadgets, doesn’t guarantee you a win against spooky ghouls. You should also train yourself in case of a hand to hand fight. We don’t recommend getting into a fight if you are inexperienced in physical combat; its okay to run if you can’t handle the enemy in front of you. There is no shame in running. Of course, the best piece of advice we can give you is that if you see a haunted house just keeping walking.