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Neolodge Review: The Cockroach Towers

by milestrong


     Are you tired of your same old boring routines? Or maybe just tired in general? Have you ever felt that you could be someplace else, meeting new people, trying new stuff, and having a little bit of fun and excitement? Or do you feel like you just aren’t getting the rest and relaxation that you know you deserve? If your answer to at least one of these questions is yes, then I know something that may just help with that!

     If you’re looking for a little bit of rest and relaxation sprinkled with some fun and excitement, and something a little different to start the new year off, then booking a stay at the Neolodge sounds like the perfect thing for you! There’s a whole lot of different lodging options, each with their own unique quirks and amenities, but it’s sure to refresh your mind and cheer you up no matter which you choose.

     To those who are unfamiliar, you can book a stay by heading over to the Grand Neopian Neolodge located in Neopia Central. From there, you can choose to book at any affiliated Neolodge of your choosing, with various prices per night ranging from 5NP all the way to 500NP, up to a maximum stay of 28 nights. Extra amenities may also be availed for your booking at the small cost of 5NP per service. What a steal!

     In this article, we’ll be reviewing the first of the many Neolodge options to choose from, and we’ll be talking about its ups and downs, and hopefully give you enough of an idea about the place so that you can decide if you feel like staying here. Without further ado, I present to you our review of The Cockroach Towers.


     The Cockroach Towers is the first and cheapest among the available options, currently going for 5NP a night. It’s still located within the vicinity of Neopia Central, and it offers a cheap but decent place to stay if you ever felt like you needed a change of pace or wanted a different environment. It’s near a lot of the popular shops in the Neopian Bazaar so it’s easy to go out shopping as well, and there are a lot of food shops nearby if you want to go on a quick food trip.

     Just one thing though— don’t let the name fool you, there most certainly aren’t any cockroaches here! At least I hope there aren’t. But even if there were, I’m sure they’re just here because they too know that it’s a wonderful place to take a mini-vacation for a while!

     *Restaurant and Burger Bar*

     If you availed either of these two food extras when you booked your stay, then you’re in for a treat!... That is, if your stomach is ready to handle the kinds of food they serve here. They aren’t bad, but they’re definitely unique and not stuff you can easily find elsewhere. Their specialty is Gross Foods, which is amazing if you’re a fan of that kind of stuff, and okay enough even if you aren’t.

     Some of their specialties include a Cheese and Eel Burger from their burger bar which is made from— you guessed it— cheese and eels (be careful when feeding this to Skeiths however as it may make them sick), the Hot Worm Hot Dog which tastes almost like a regular hot dog but slimier, and one of their healthier options: a Fresh Seaweed Pie which is just chock full of vitamins, minerals, and seaweed!

     *Fitness Center, Jacuzzi/Spa and Sauna*

     If you’re looking to get in shape, or just looking for more ways to relax, then look no further as the Cockroach Towers has their own Fitness Center and Spa! There’s nothing too special to write home about here— they have old but decent equipment and exercise machines which all mostly work located in a tiny room on the ground floor. If you’re one of the taller Neopets, just be careful as the room isn’t that tall.

     The spa is located right above the gym, and is a good place to rest and maybe even get a massage! They have a team of professionals who will do their best to make sure you have a great stay, though with the number of people working there vs. the number of people usually staying, you often have to wait in line or book an appointment for a different time to get your massage. It’s a little bit of a hassle but it’s worth it in the end!

     The sauna is in the same room as the spa, and while the lines here aren’t too terribly long, the space is rather small, and can sometimes experience some temperature issues where it gets too hot or doesn’t get hot enough. It’s still a decent service regardless and you’ll be awarded coupons to their burger bar if you ever encounter any technical problems here!

     *Swimming Pool*

     The pool here isn’t too big. In fact, it’s a little small for most people’s standards, and it’s almost always crowded (who doesn’t love to swim?) especially during the summer when the rays of the sun are just a little bit too hotter than normal. It’s decent if you get in, but it’s not the best attraction that the lodge has to offer here.

          *Tennis Courts*

     The Tennis Courts in the Cockroach Towers are actually one of their main attractions, and perhaps one of their best and most well-maintained services. They have a good field, and their equipment is of great quality. The coaching staff are also very friendly and skilled and are more than willing to teach newbies how to play. It’s a great service to take advantage of if you’re looking for a little bit of leisure, and it’s a good way to meet new friends as well! The only real issue is that their court is located on the roof, so it’s a drag whenever a ball accidentally drops to the ground floor.

     Overall, the Cockroach Towers does have its ups and downs. But then again, they are the cheapest lodge to stay at and even then it’s still a mostly decent place to stay. The food is 50/50 depending on your tastes, and they may sometimes have faulty electronics and amenities. But if you ever feel like you wanted to go and have a quick vacation on a budget, the doors of the Cockroach Towers are always open to guests!


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